Monday, 29 June 2009

Wed 24 – Sun 28 June 09 - Concert, Governors, I killed Michael Jackson, Jason and the Argonauts, University Home Coming and a BBQ

Wed. 24

Lazy day at home did lots of not much! It’s Han’s school concert this evening so I need to be properly rested
Not such a big role for Han in this years concert; played ocarina in the orchestra but didn’t have any solo’s and not in any groups, don’t worry you can’t always be lead dancer sweetheart. All in all it was great fun and The Head and some parents managed to make complete plonkers of them selves at the end. (INSERT VIDEO). Nat was at scouts so missed Han’s show, mind you, he’s got a big day on Friday when he’s performing at the Curve Theatre in Leicester.

Thursday 25

Nat spent the afternoon at the curve rehearsing for tomorrow. He looked totally knackered when he got home.

I attended the Governors Meeting at 6:30; quite a brief agenda and meeting, forming the two sub-committees to plough through the meat of the issues is paying off. At formal Governors meeting we can now, more rapidly, attend to the overarching issues that we are responsible for. Our function is to oversee the school not manage it.

After the meeting we all went to Banter Café Bar, for the annual Governors Meal; this should have taken place in December 2008 but was postponed when it clashed with a surprise Ofsted inspection which was to take place the next day. In attendance were, The Head, The Chair of Governors, myself and five other Governors (INSERT PHOTO). Banter Cafe Bar was previously known as the Rum Runner and was one of my favourite Leicester eateries. Deb and I started eating there in evening’s after we had attended anti-natal classes at The Royal when Deb was carrying Nat.

My meal was absolutely gorgeous, I had………sautéed mushrooms to start and for my main course I had the Lamb. Shame about Vi’s risotto which she couldn’t eat. The restaurant did not charge her for her meal, as soon as they saw that she’d been unable to eat most of it the head waiter came over and spoke to her. When she explained why she couldn’t eat it he apologised and immediately told her that this item would be removed from the bill. Good PR, I’d go there again and recommend them because of what they did.

Oh my God, it’s happened again, this time I’ve killed Michael Jackson! As I mentioned above, the restaurant used to be known as the Rum Runner and I suggest it as a venue when we were planning a team night out from Brit Gas in Sept 1997. That was the first time I ever went there without Deb; we left after midnight; a few hours late Princess Diana was dead. Tonight was the first time since than that I’ve been there without Deb and again when I return home the only news is that Michael Jackson had died.
It can’t be a coincidence, there are evil forces at work I’ve been used as a pawn by those that conspire to rid the World of “goodness”, I recon that it’s the Greys in conjunction with the Illuminati who are behind it. I have no evidence that this is true, however, I feel that it must be true and so obviously it is, because feelings DON'T lie! Go on sceptics, argue with those apples! Deb obviously works as an assassin for them and each and every time I go to this restaurant she kills for them.

Talking about MJ (and who ISN’T) you’d think it was God, or even Nelson Mandela, who had died; he was an extraordinarily talented singer and dancer who got very rich by making full use of that talent. He didn’t cure cancer or end wars he was, no matter how talented he was, simply an entertainer. He brought great pleasure too those who , like myself, liked his music but he was still just a man and now he’s died and nothing will change that.

I simply can’t understand why people get so involved in the death of someone they have never met; they grieve as if they had lost a close friend or relative. They didn’t know him! Why do they congregate around the hospital, his home and other places, he’s dead; honestly, he’s not coming out to give an interview or do one last impromptu photo call. Why do they want to see the coffin; to pay their respects? This is Diana all over again, an immense, almost hysterical, outpouring of public grief for a man who most commentators considered to be a “washed–up weirdo” and who, last week, all “right thinking people” regarded as a paedophile; I did mention that I killed Princess Di, didn’t I?

I received my 1st MJ joke text at about 1PM on Friday, if you think that’s quick bad taste I heard my 1st NASA joke about 3 hours after the Shuttle exploded. Here are some of the best of the MJ jokes (none of which I wrote and all of which were already posted on the Internet – so don’t threaten to sue me):
Michael Jackson hasn’t been this stiff since Macully Culkin spent the night at Neverland Ranch.
*Because Jackson’s body was 95% plastic, he will be melted down and turned into legos, this way kids can play with him for a change.
*Reports that Michael Jackson has died of a heart attack in his home are untrue… He actually died having a stroke in the children’s ward.
*In the spirit of recycling, Michael Jackson will be melted down into plastic party cups so kids can still get their lips around his rim.
*In accordance with Michael Jackson’s will, little boys’ pants shall be flown at half-mast today.
*Doctors are looking into claims that MJ’s death could have been caused by an allergic reaction from eating 12 year old nuts.
*I heard Michael Jackson died of food poisoning from eating a 5 year old wiener.
*Michael Jackson will always be with us… he is not biodegradable.
*Farrah Fawcett arrived at the Pearly Gates and God asked her what he could do for her having led such an honest life. Farrah asked God to simply make sure the children of the world were safe. Five minutes later, Michael Jackson died.
*MJ’s dying wish was to be melted down and turned into straws so he can still get sucked on by kids.
*It has been released that MJs last wish was that he wants to be melted down and made into a slide so kids can go down on him forever.
*In memory of MJ’s death, McDonald’s is coming out with the new “McJackson”. It’s 50 year old meat between 12 year old buns.
*Michael Jackson’s ashes are going to be put in an Etch A Sketch so kids can still twiddle his knob.
*Michael Jackson’s death has now been ruled a suicide. Apparently doctors told him that the only way he could get whiter is if he died.
*Only in America can someone be born a poor black kid, and die a rich white woman.
*Madonna sent her condolences to the Jackson family. Then asked how much they wanted for the kids.
*Breaking News: Casper the friendly ghost was molested in the early hours of this morning!
*Michael Jackson’s last words: “Take me to the Children’s Hospital!” What was Michael Jackson’s last hit? The floor!
*Michael Jackson died of a heart attack. He really shouldn’t have looked at the man in the mirror.
* Michael Jackson is having his plastic parts recycled into carrier bags; that way he’ll still be white and still be a danger to small children.

Friday 26

Nat's at the Curve all day today; he and the others are having final rehearsals this morning and then it's a matinee in the afternoon for the schools and a final evening performance for the adults.

Jason and the Argonauts

Leicestershire Arts in Education will be presenting their first Schools and Youth Festival at Curve. Hundreds of children and young people from school and colleges in the city and county will come together to celebrate with three dynamic performances.
Heatherbrook Primary School Millfield Community Primary School
Judgemeadow Community College Rothley C.E. Primary School
Church Langton C.E. Primary School John Ferneley High School

The Good News – All of the performances were superb, each school seemed to out do the last. The Bad News – NO photography in the auditorium; so unless the Curve publishes a video (it was being filmed apparently, according to Nat) we have no permanent record of the show, not even a few stills. Here are someone else's photos

When, finally, it was time for Millfield to do their thing it turned out that Nat had, in the end, landed the role of Jason. There was a downside to this honour though; he had to carry the Argos’s sail through the whole of the first part of their performance. The Millfield children enacted two parts of the story; First, the passage of the Argonauts through the crashing rocks and Secondly, the God’s discussions concerning Jason’s quest. Obviously I thought that this was the best part of the show! Luckily I was right!

When the performance ended we congregated outside to wait for the cast to get changed. During this time we managed to acquire a program and an advertising flyer that contained an unintentionally hilarious blooper. One of the adverts was for the show Michael Jackson 51. The blurb for this show read as follows;
“A tribute to one of the most famous people on the planet. Expect high-energy, pulsating music and HEART STOPPING CHOREOGRAPHY
From Drop Box
We had a great time outside discussing who had received the most and funniest MJ texts in the previous 24 hours. Eventually the kids came out and we grabbed Nat and made for the car park. Here Deb’s pre-planning came into its own. She had pre-paid the parking charge when she booked our tickets for the performance and had got her parking ticket validated in the theatre. This meant we could bypass the queues for the payment machines and drive straight out. This probably saved us a good 20 minutes and this is something, dear readers that you too should consider doing in the future.

Deb dropped us at home before going shopping. I made an enormous pile of sandwiches, we hadn’t eaten that evening, and we sat down to watch the Big Brother eviction; Half-wit lives to fight another day…HURRAY!

11:00 to bed (everyone but me), we have an early start tomorrow; it’s Home Coming at Leicester University and the end of the Percy Gee. I went up at about 3:00 AM; what can I say, I’m an insomniac.

Sat 27

Awoke exhausted, horrible humid night I hate heat (I don’t get to sleep easily at the best of times), wondering if I could manage to get out of bed let alone drag myself to the University. Lay in bed thinking about ditching the whole idea but finally relented when I realised it there wouldn’t be another chance to see my old stomping ground after today. Eventually fed and watered, washed and dressed we all four crawled to the car and set off for what promised to be a long day; before we left I’d rang John, my manager, to see if I could get the night off as a holiday, thankfully he said yes.

We parked at HSBC and walked from there to campus. Mayors Walk was already partly cordoned off and obvious renovation work had already begun, as can be seen from the links in a previous entry in this blog the builders are going to be doing a serious number on the dear old Percy Gee; it’s getting dragged into the 21 century whether it wants to be or not! We made our way to the Charles Wilson, registered; I picked up my 1981 graduate badge, and got pack listing all the days’ events. We then had free coffee and pastries in the CW refectory café. They were “well nice” and we returned to replenish our plates a number of times. By now it was approaching 11:00 AM so we walked to the Percy Gee to join the “Hard Hat Tour” of the old building. There wasn’t any need for hard hats as we didn’t see any of the interesting underground places. The tour was pretty perfunctory and took only about 20 minutes. I don’t know who’s been in charge of decorating the PG these last few years but they must have got a real deal on brown paint. The decor was shit! Everything was painted brown and unnecessary doors had been added here and there to further inhibit the access of daylight to the building. Given it strange lay out the building suffers from a lack of naturally light but this lack had been exacerbated but the appalling brown paint that seemed to cover every wall. God it was DRAB!!!!! To make matters worse we ended the tour in the Redfern Bar and this had suffered the most. The most horrendous alterations had been made to the structure of the room. Walls had been knocked out, the bar extended into the former toilets and the bar itself truncated and rounded into a horseshoe shape. All this should of added space and given and impression of space. In fact it looked smaller and reminiscing of stinking student bar of the 1970’s; it never looked like that in the 70’s in fact it was quite upmarket, very much like a nice pub’s lounge bar. I thought I ‘d be sad about it’s impending demise; instead I was sad at what had been done to it and instead began to looked forward to it being put out of it’s, and my, misery.

Shortly afterward we left the PG and I told the kids I’d take them to see the paternoster in the Attenborough Tower. Han wanted to go on the bouncy castle instead so Deb stayed with her and I took Nat with me. Unfortunately the tower was closed off so we were not able to see it or ride it…..another day perhaps. Back to Deb and Han and Nat and Han made for the inflated slide. I took a few pictures unaware that Deb also took about twenty; they were the only photos she took all day. Eventually we dragged them away and went to take a look at the new library. It’s not totally new but the originally building has been massively extended. The original university bookshops have been used for other purposes and there is now a single bookshop attached to one side of the entrance to the library, on the other there’s a coffee shop.

I took Nat and Han on a tour of the building, Deb dropped out and went to collect their packed lunches from the Charles Wilson building. We spent a good 30 minutes seeing what a real academic library was like. I showed them some of the very old books that are held in the Libraries local history collection (Leicester is very highly regarded for it’s local history resources) and Han kept trying to locate books using the computerise catalogue terminals that were scattered about the building.
Afterward we joined Deb at the tables outside where the kids ate their lunches. I got us a couple of coffees from the café and eventual the heat forced us inside to finish these.

The Engineering buildingwas our next stop. Nat wasn’t feeling very well so stayed in the foyer with Deb whilst I took Han up the tower to have a look around. It was about 1:30 PM by now and a serious of mini lectures were due to start in the build at about 2:00 PM. We left and went to sit on the grass in Victoria Park and took advantage of the shade under the trees. Its odd seeing Victoria Park, when I arrived in 1976 the park was surrounded by Elm trees but these were all cut down the following year because they were infected with Dutch elm disease. It turned the park into a kind of wasteland and it remained that way through out my university days. Now, after 30 yrs the trees are back and it once again looks like it did when I first saw it… weird!

We were back for 2:00 PM and took in some of the mini lectures. First we went to

“Squeezing liquids and solids” a study of non-Newtonian liquids and their uses, a great chance for the kids to play with mucky stuff! Next on our agenda was:

“A water Turbine that extracts energy from flowing waters” a fantastic piece of equipment that provides enough power to desalinate water in a desert. Professor Abdelwahab Aroussi, who was giving the demonstration explained that one had been build in the desert village in North Africa where he’d originally come from and that it provided drinking water for the current inhabitants. Finally we trooped off to see:

“High Voltage Arcs and Sparks” in the high energy research department on the top floor. We saw huge plasma globes, lord I still miss mine, a Jacobs Ladder and finally a generator creating 200,000 volt arcs. All this was explained to us by a “mad” German engineer with a strong accent and an odd laugh.

Throughout this time the kids somehow managed to get into almost every photo the University photography, who was recording the event, took. This was by invitation I might add; as we left they were asked to pose with Professor Fothergill (head of the engineering dept and a very nice chap as was Prof Aroussi) in front of a model of the building.

You scream, I scream, we all scream for Ice-cream:

We left Engineering and made our way back to the Charles Wilson via the micro-climate under the Attenborough Tower and were please to discover that the bottle of water we’d accidentally left on the table when were having pastries was still there. We grabbed it and made out way to the front where the chemistry dept were demonstrating some of the many uses that liquid nitrogen could be put to. In this instance they made chocolate mint ice-cream and it was bloody lovely. The close camaraderie between the professor who was in his late 60’s and his students made me green with envy, I’d sort of forgotten how great a part of university life that was. I’d been lucky and had got on really well with all my lectures and tutors ( I never had a one I didn’t like) during both my degrees and I remembered how pleasant that had been. To be treated as an equal by people who were often world renowned experts in their respective fields; to have to able to argue, in a coherent manner, with them and justifiable defend your ideas was one of the most enjoyable things I’ve ever done in my entire life. I never understood those who said nothing during tutorials, what was the point in being there? Anyway, I digress, we all managed to get an ice-cream, Han and Nat got flakes in theirs (jammy sods), and we made our way to the Geology Dept in the Bennett Building to attend a lecture by Professor David Siveter on:
“Flying Dinosaurs and Exceptionally Preserved Fossils – windows on the evolution of life unknown to Darwin”. Despite the fact that the Professors laptop decided to crash just before the lecture; and that meant we wouldn’t see some of the animations he was going to use to illustrate it the lecture was fascinating. The Professor has spent 20 yrs of his career in China excavating and studying fossils found in the fossil rich shale’s there. After this we all went to see the department’s newest addition, Jane a life-sized Tyrannosaurus Rex. Jane is one of three casts made of pre-adolescent T-Rex fossil discovered a few years ago. She was approximately 11 yrs old when she died and about half of the size she would have been if she’d lived to maturity. Even this pre-teen dinosaur towered over us (SEE PIC).

By now it was 4:00PM and the heat and humidity was getting to all of us; I’d not seen anyone I knew during the day and was beginning to lose enthusiasm for spending the evening in the Redfern. We didn’t think that the kids would sit through the Vice-Chancellor’s “Review of the University” lecture that was about to start so we decided that Deb and the kids would return to the car and I’d go for a last pint in the “Fern”. I bought a pint and proceeded to take some last photos of the old, much abused, girl. I didn’t notice that my pint had been served in one of the commemorative glasses that were available to purchase that night. When Deb called I worked down to the car whilst finishing my drink. There seemed little point in returning the glass when I’d realised what I’d done, anyway nicking glasses from the “Fern” was a tradition in my day!

Deb had received a call from Donna during the day inviting us to a barbecue at her house that evening, I think in case her X appeared on the door; after nearly 3 yrs he’s still being a B*****d and she was concerned that he might turn up. I think she wanted a little safety in numbers. Deb said she’d bring some puddings so we called into Morrison’s on the way home. While we were there I spotted that they had a special offer on Brothers cider, Stella, Coors and Grolsh beers; 4 packs of 10 for £15; we took advantage of this and took the pear ciders with us to D’s house. I must say that they were very nice and I’m sure they would have been even better if they’d had time to chill properly. D’s friend Jonathon was also there and when we arrived he was cooking; he’s got a back-round in catering and hotel management. We stuffed ourselves until sated and chatted generally, the kids were all in the pool. Later after I woke up, I'm told I fell asleep and was dead to the world for a few hours, we played “Texas Holdum” poker on a TV games console; eventually we called it a day at about 11:00 before Deb cleaned us out completely....spammy b*****d!

Home and to bed, couldn’t sleep, came down stairs put on the goggle box….fell asleep.

Monday, 22 June 2009

The Twitch(er)hikers Guide too.....

Life, The Universe and (a) Feathery Thing

Introducing the eclectic Welsh poet and champion of multi-culturalism
Dai Verseity
and his best buddy the Irish Double-Glazing expert,
Paddy O'Doors
Boom Boom!

The Bottom

Greater than the Sum of it's Farts?

Sunday, 21 June 2009

Sunday 21 June - Father's Day, The GREATEST Day of the Year

Today we celebrate God's* greatest creation...Daddy


Is there a more perfectly wonderful word in the English language? Well yes and no, there are none greater but many that are it's equal:
Big Man; are a few amongst the many that come to mind.

Simply put, Father, in it's many and varied incarnations, represents language's most perfect word; a word that endeavours to encapsulate that most perfect expression of the human condition. To represent, verbally, the evolutionary triumph that is ME!

I came, I saw, I bonked her
Again and again and again
Hurray for me,
I fertilized three
My sperm; built to conquer

22/06/2009 - Share on Ovi


Arrived home at about 7:45 only to find that the children were still in bed, outrageous, they should have been kneeling at the door to greet me!
Eventually, they came down stairs and after a brief, but violent, beating (Nat wasn't very well so I held back a bit and only tasered each of them once) they began genuflecting. After much genuflecting they gave me, as is my due, my presents (perhaps offerings would be a better word) which I proceeded to graciously open !

Three very fine bottles of beer and two funny tee-shirts (One Homer Simpson, One Mr Incredible) made up their offerings and I, their Lord, was pleased. I dismissed them to the kitchens to hew wood. After an hour or so, I bade Deb (my significant chattel) to forebear, my innate modesty was causing me to become embarrassed by her unending, though endearing, praises.

All in all a fine morning; we refrained from visiting the allotment because Nat was unwell. At about 11:30 I decided to retire and the children, as is their duty, carried me up stairs to my private chambers.

I arose from my slumbers at 6pm and ate a scrumptious repast that Deb had provided where upon I utilised my superior "Daddy" powers on Deb and Nat's new SIM cards and activated their new mobile accounts.

All Hail Me!!!

And now to Work.

Oh the peasants, if only they knew what a giant it is what walks amoungst them; surely they would quake in my presence and would, most probably, mess their underwear!

Yet another night for those who think they are perfect to annoy those of us who are!


*Yes we know he's not really real, if he were he'd be busy worshipping me; but if he did exist, and he doesn't, but if he did, then the above statement would indeed be correct.

Saturday 20 June - Parcel, Snotty letter, the allotment, some sleep, phones and photos, work, curry night.

Finished work at 7.30 and was picked up by Deb. She’d been to the GPO on her way to fetch me and had collected my returned N95. She’d opened the parcel and been unimpressed to fine that the phone wasn’t secured in the box and that the slider had come open in transit (we sent it back wrapped in bubble wrap). We resolved to write to 3 when we got home. We drafted a rather stern email (see below) and pressed send. Let us see what they have to say for themselves. Either way, I’m not up-grading in Sept. I’ve got my N82 Deb’s got my N95, Nat’s getting her N73 and we’ll look out for a 3G phone for Han. After that we’ll all be pay as you go and we’ll spend virtually nothing on mobile calls.

It was 9:00am by now and the kids finally made an appearance. After they were dressed we decamped for the allotment to get some final digging done. We were there from 9:15 to 10:45 approximately and I managed to get the digging done whilst Deb Han and Nat raked and cleared the already dug areas. Nat put up some Bamboo wigwams and he Deb and Han planted some squashes. We had a chat with a fellow allotmentaire (Terry I think) who gave us a lettuce.

We were home for 11:00; Deb took the kids to McDonalds for breakfast while I had a beer watched the Big Brother eviction and generally Chillaxed. I went to bed at about 12:00; I put on Bill Bryson’s Short History of Nearly Everything and proceeded to drift in and out of sleep through the rest of the afternoon.

Got up at around 4:45 and showered. I decided to download the photos from our phones to Nat’s PC, my PCs bust at the moment, intending to then upload them via pixel-pipes, to the internet. Nat’s PC was once again full of retained games files and the operating system was out of disk space. It took me about an hour to sort this all out and I eventually started in on the photos and videos.

This proved to be another long job and I left for work at around 8:15 leaving photos still uploading.

At work, after everything calmed down, I sort photos and tagged and embedded to this Blog. I’ve still got quite a few left to do; during this time we had curry night, my god, Prash brought a chill box full of booze, including sprits, whilst I forgot all about tonight’s plans and only finally remembered on my way out of the door. I hastily grabbed some of my cheap beers from the fridge, I had meant to ask Deb to get some when she was out but by the time we’d written to 3 and been to the allotment I’d completely forgotten about it. TWAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s now approx 3:00 a.m. and I’m about to do some writing up so bye for now.

Friday, 19 June 2009

Monday 15 - Friday 19 June

No recollection of Monday, slept most of the day then stayed up all night watching TV, on PC or reading. Bed at about 5am so slept through most of Tuesday morning until I was woken by a call from the 3 network regarding the ongoing repair to my N95. I had sent it in to them to have a couple of repairs done before the warranty ran out in Sept. The volume rocker switch was broken, the catch holding the battery cover in place had come away and the hands free cable only had sound through one channel. I was advised that the repair engineers had taken the phone apart and discovered early stage water damage to the internal electronics and that this wasn’t covered under the warranty and that therefore the repair would cost me £75. “Thank you for telling me this” I said, “but I’ll pass on that, can you just repair the things I’ve told you about”? “Sorry sir, we can’t, we have to make a full repair or do nothing”. “Do nothing “I said, “certainly sir”, she replied that’ll will be £20”. “Fuck” I said!

The rest of the day I spent reminding myself how good 3 had been up to this point, I’ve been with them as a satisfied customer since Sept 2006, and why I would be stupid to leave them. In the end I decided I would remain with them, Deb could have the N95 Nat could have the N73 I’d look for a 3G phone for Han, on eBay, and I’d go PAYG on my N82 in Sept and save the approx £25pm I’d no longer be paying 3 to buy an iPod touch. From everything I’ve read, an N82 combined with an iPod touch is the perfect 2 device compromise as each device is strong where the other is weak.

Once again, stayed up late, one day Deb and I will go to bed at the same time, reading etc. I finally went to bed at about 3am as I had to be up early for a dental appointment that morning. Got up for 8am and waited until it was time to go, got to the dentist for 9.20 and was in the chair being injected with novacaine by 9.30. Sent to the waiting room until my face had gone completely numb then returned to have 2!!! Wisdom teeth removed. Mr Knight, my dentist, is incredibly quick; he had the upper tooth out in about 10 seconds and scarcely took longer with the lower. I was promptly dispatched homeward with instructions to eat and drink nothing for 4 hours. Once at home I sat and prepared to suffer for the next 4 hours, luckily I promptly fell asleep and woke 5 hours later….hurray!

Once again, stayed up late reading etc and didn’t get to bed until about 5am and once again another morning passed as I was cradled in the arms of Morpheus (this has to change). That evening we all went to judo at Winstanley School, the exhibition that the kids put on last week had borne fruit, there were two new children on the mat and a couple more had come to take a further look. Let’s hope these newbie’s keep coming as we’re very short of kids in the 8 – 12 range.

Again, up late, slept until 3pm Friday. The kids brought home their school reports for the year and both were excellent - insert photo of docs. I cooked dinner, the went to work for 8pm. Wrote this tonight.

Monday, 15 June 2009

friday/sat/sunday 12-14 june: This Post is still a Work in Progress - Still have uploads to do , vids etc.

Blog Friday 12 June Saturday 13 June and Sunday 14 June

Allotment Hoe-Down at Braunstone Community Centre
7.30 – 11.00

Let the Dancing commence:

In between the various dances we had some more drinks, Christ I didn’t realise how expensive it has become to by drinks in a bar, the raffle was drawn, I won a bottle of scotch and Nat won a packet of “high end” socks! I haven’t bought a bottle of spirits in ages so I was looking forward to having a few nips when we got home.

We had paid £6.00 per ticket and this included a Ploughman’s lunch which was served at about 9:30. It was pretty basic but then again the object of the exercise was to raise money toward building a composting toilet (we succeeded fairly admirably; I learned the next day that we’d made a profit of £360 on the event).

I did dance, not all of them my hip does impose some constraints, but as I was doing the filming I don’t appear in any of the videos or pictures; at least that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it.

It was a great night; we left around 11:00 and made our way home. We’d all had a great time. Off to bed for everyone but me, I stayed down had a couple of scotches and watched a bit of TV.


Not a lot during the morning, we all caught up on our sleep, later in the afternoon we went to the allotment and got some needed work done. We have a real problem with bindweed in one part of our plot and it needs constant vigilance to keep it under control and to stop it spreading. From everything I've read and been told it's a nightmare to eradicate. All we can do is try to keep it under control. As you can see from the picture below it’s a nasty little bugger.


Not a lot during the morning, we all caught up on our sleep, later in the afternoon we went to the allotment and got some needed work done. We have a real problem with bindweed in one part of our plot and it needs constant vigilance to keep it under control and to stop it spreading. From everything I've read and been told it's a nightmare to eradicate. All we can do is try to keep it under control. As you can see from the picture below it’s a nasty little bugger.

While we were working George and Margaret passed by and stopped for a chat. They are such a nice couple and they really put one hell of a lot of effort into making the Rosamund Avenue site the success it is. It was George who told me how much money we’d made from the previous night’s hoe-down.

When we finished we headed for home and dinner. We had a quite night and the kids were off to bed early in anticipation of a long day tomorrow. Remained downstairs myself to have a few more scotches and did a bit of reading.


Sunday was the British Gas Big Day Out and our local event was being held at Stanford Hall near Lutterworth.

We arrived there at about 10:30 and the Kids headed straight for the flying trampolines. Below is some footage of Han doing her aerial thing

From here we moved on to the Archery butt where the kids killed 6 members of staff with only seven arrows, well done you two, the archery practice you put in with beavers and Cubs really paid off. From here we moved on to the laser clay pigeon shooting, which I was advise was brilliant. I had meant to have a go at both events myself but somehow managed to miss out. However it happened I didn't loose an arrow nor laser a pigeon; damn!
Nat then heade for the Segways and had his first go, we came back later and both he and I had a turn. Neither Deb nor Han wanted to have a go. Below is some film of Nat segwaying.

We continued trying things out, see photos above, and eventually decided to have a rest and picnic by the river. On our way Nat and Han tried their hands at riding the bucking bronco.

After another stop at the coconut shy and rifle range (4 coconuts and Han won on a goody bag for her shooting) we made it to the river where we sat, ate and drunk.

After lunch Han had her face painted and we three climbed the rock faces, where were you Deb: taking pictures in portrait instead of landscape mode is where you were!

We finally had a few free ice creams and made our way to the car par to return home, I was working that evening and needed to get some sleep. It had been a great day and it was a shame that so few people had attended. Apart from Barry Mayes and one or two other people I didn't recognise anyone there.

Thursday, 11 June 2009

Sunday 7 - Thursday 11 June - Sod All, Han Becomes a Cub, 24, Kingdom, Judo Display.

Yet another 4 day period disappears with nothing done or achieved. I really haven't done a thing, I must develop a routine if this state of affairs is not to continue indefinitely.

We've not been to the allotment, because the weather has been bad on the days when we could go, I've not fixed the computer,did try but still not picking up hard drive one, I've had 2 very long tel calls with Three to arrange to get my N95 picked up for repair, my fault, I screwed up the on-line fault report, put down N82 by mistake...twat!

Han was finally invested as a Cub on Monday - she moved up from Beavers last December but for some reason had never been formally invested as a cub.

I have caught up on some recorded TV. Watched last 4 episodes of series 7 iof 24 and watched all of series 2 of Kingdom. In addition have tried to read a book in a reasonable time, i.e. more than 2 pages a day, some success and tried to listen to backlogged podcasts - no success, kept falling asleep.

Today, went to Winstanley School this PM where Nat and Han took part in a Judo promotion session there. Just them, Catherine and John the instructor. Looks like it went quite well and we may get a few more youngsters attending.

Came to work for 8pm and moved to new work stations.

Wrote the above; this now.

I am the World's MOST Boring Man!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, 6 June 2009

Saturday 6 June - 65th anniversary of D-Day ...poor bastards, Nat’s game Good Sleep, Wii Karaoke,

"Those who can make you believe absurdities
can make you commit atrocities."

appros - to those who died 65 yrs ago fighting a particular form of fanaticism and as warming against all those fools and charlatans out there who would like to make you believe their absurdities.

Home for 8 am absolutely knackered, watched Click before episode disappeared from BBC iPlayer, postman delivered Nats Warhammer 40,000 game but not the envelope from 3 (mobile network) in which to send off my N95 to be repaired.

By 9am I was too tired to stay awake and went off to bed. The kids were both still dead to the world so I left the game next to Nat’s PC and wondered if he’d see it when he woke up.

Put on some podcast but fell asleep before I heard any. I slept soundly waking only to use the loo until late afternoon when I was awoken by a strange And ghastly noise.
Nat and Han were using the Wii to perform karaoke along to High School musical. If there is a hell then Wii karaoke is it’s name.

After failing to bite off my ears I got out of bed, dressed and beat the children until they stopped. “Cease and desist” or be deceased” I said, they stopped forthwith after the blood began to flow.

Work, short staffed, 4 off on holiday/sick, the weather has turned quite cold so we were very busy all through the night. Strangely, time really seemed to drag, which is unusual when we are busy, last night. Dawn had the night off, carol left early, Bhaarat is still off ill and Ash has gone to Wales to stay in a tipi!!!!!. Oh well, I'm only in for 2 nights next week so that shouldn't be too bad.

Friday, 5 June 2009

Holiday Photographs

For convenience I've decided to link this entry to various holiday photo colledctions. This just makes them that much easier to find when you're in a hurry.

Forida July/August 2006.
Orlando and Napels.

Cornwall Oct 2007

Wales Feb 2008

Spain July 20 2008

Friday 5 June - Poem? JCB's Bye Bye, Digital Planet x 3, Cubs Sports, Cold & Work

Hickery Dickery Dock

The mouse ran up the clock

When the clock struck One

Down he would run;

Until I shot the little fucker's head off!


Did you like the Poem? Me neither, don't know why it';s there really.

Good news, the JCB's have moved on, the workmen are still outside but they appear to have done all their excavating, for now, and are now working exclusively with silenced picks and shovels..hurray!! Hoping to get a good days sleep and I'm not to be disappointed, which is a shame vis a vis my catching up with my backlog of podcasts. The day went as follows:

Started playing the BBC World Service Digital Planet podcast - I have 4 I haven't listened too - fell asleep

woke up - piss - Started playing the BBC World Service Digital Planet podcast again -I still have 4 I haven't listened too - fell asleep

woke up - poo - Started playing the BBC World Service Digital Planet podcast again - I still have 4 I haven't listened too - fell asleep

I'm sure you get the picture!

I got up at 4.30, because Han's got her cubs sports day (?) this evening at Saffron Lane and we need to be there for 6pm. We had Bacon and Egg sandwiches for tea, yum then Deb took Han to the surgery to have her foot checked. It appears she may have a verruca on her toe. Bandaged it and got ready to go, we waited in the car for Donna's car to appear as she was going to follow us as she wasn't sure of the route. Off we went playing follow the leader.

6pm saffron lane, cold and wet, very disorganised.
Josh, Donna's son, entered the 800 meters and made a spirited attempt. He came last but he'd never run it before and at least he finished. he got a good cheer into the finish. He and Han did the 3 legged race, fell over unfortunately and came in at the tail end. By now we were all freezing and just waiting for it all to be over.

insert vids and pics

7.45 - over, cold wet to work

Got dropped off at work at 8pm and went in to warm up. I ended up chatting to Helen from Coalville, who apparently knows me but I don't recall how. She gave me the third degree and in 30 Min's she learned more about me that most people do in 30 yrs, I'm not sure how she did it... relentless unending questioning whilst applying electrodes to my genitalia if I remember correctly. My only defence is that I was cold and off my guard, she knows too much and will have to be dealt with!

Eventually the rest of the team arrived and I escaped my inquisitor. Quick buzz at 10 pm, gist..we're moving to another seating area starting next shift; we'll have to take our terminal with us as the new area has old fashioned monitors.

Sitting here typing this....enough for now.

Thursday 4 June - GM.TV Mobiles, No Sleep (again) Today & EA tonight

GM.TV - Lorraine Kelly had a feature on mobile phones and had John Bentley, from the Gadget Show, as her guest expert. I do like John, he's like an excitable puppy who's utterly enamoured with everything that's going on around him, especially if it involves tech. The item itself was very brief and very basic but it was still good, just because JB was a part of it.

The diggers are still outside, so once again I'm gonna get no sleep, noisy bastards. If I go postal it's their f**king fault; they've been warned, if only in my mind!

Just before going upstairs to try and get a little sleep I got a call from Littlewoods stores concerning Han's broken bed. The scouse gentleman on the other end informed me that they were sending a repair kit and that it would arrive in a few days. I thought they were picking it up in order to deposit in on a scrape heap but I was to tired to argue the toss. What is it about the Liverpool accent that gets up my nose? The chap was perfectly polite etc but his accent was like a knife being jabbed in my gut, it annoyed the hell out of me. I think it's because i tend to agree with the opinion of Liverpudlians that Boris Johnson was forced to apologise for. It's always worse for them, they always grieve more, suffer more feel more. What a irritating bunch of tossers they are. Sorry, I can't help it, I know it's unfair but that accent, to me it's like a red rag to a bull. Sorry!

Anyway, my attempts to get some sleep were futile; got up at about 5:30 more tired than I had been when I went to bed.

Logistics, tonight we've got to vote get the kids to judo and Deb's got to drop me off at work, kids got changed while I got ready for work. We drove to school and voted there, Han made me vote for the Greens in the Euro elections, drove to Judo dropped off the kids, deb took me to work then went back to pick up Nat and Han...Sorted!

I told John that I was knackered, because of the JCB's keeping me awake and asked if I could be excused from doing either EA or manuals for a few days as I might fall asleep whilst doing them, Therefore, he put me on EA (emergency assistance) because it wasn't busy tonight; I hoped he would be proved right, re gas he was but electric jobs were more numerous that I can remember them being for a long time. They are also the most awkward to issue so I had a fun night...not!

Some of the team ordered in takeaways and Prashants gave me the remains of the Chicken Tikka Jalfrazi he'd ordered and couldn't finish - Yum buggered bottoms Yummy; as a gay bum buggering friend might say.

Things eased off but there were major problems with the phones: they were routing engineer call backs straight to voice mail and so we were missing a lot of these calls. The messages the engineers were leaving were, in many instants, virtually incomprehensible so we were unable to phone a number of the back.

Despite all of the above managed to get it all done and I left at 7.30am.

Wednesday, 3 June 2009

Wednesday 3 June - No ZZZZZZZ, JCB's, Podcasts & Work.

Back to work tonight, after 12 days off, I really should try to get some sleep this afternoon but that's not going to happen.
I was correct to be wary of the massed JCB's the other day, they started digging up the road in front of our house this morning and there's no sign of them stopping anytime soon.
Judging by the various sundry vehicles from different utility companies it appears that every one's going to do any necessary work whilst the road's up.
Now this course of action makes a great deal of sense, in terms of minimising total disruption, but it bodes ill for my attempts to sleep during the day at least for the rest of this week.
I'm sure gonna be one tired puppy by the time Friday comes around, please God don't tell me that they'll be working through the weekend!

insert photos

I did go to bed and tried to circumvent the problem by putting earphones on and playing podcasts. This strategy was partially successful, it blocked out the noise of the engines, but every time the digger dropped it's shovel to compact the earth around the hole it was excavating the shock caused the house to shake and this would wake me up.

I went to work not too worse for ware but dreading the next day when I really would need to get a good days sleep.

Tuesday 2 June - On Nats Computer, telescopic lens, donna swimming

Went on Nat's PC this am to upload some photo's but there seems to be a problem with Pixel Pipes, uploads most then fails. gave up after a number of attempts when I realised that I was ending up with numerous duplicates on all the sites it posts too. Not in the mood to sort out why it's happening, a problem for another day.

From China with Love... my telescopic lens, for the N82, arrived in the Post from Hong Kong this morning. Spent the rest of the morning taking random pictures of faraway things to see how well it works. Seems OK, the trick appears to be in guessing the best focus for the lens before you attach it to plastic frame on the camera. Do you want as sharp an image as you can get when it's to you eye or is slightly blurry better. Time and practice will tell though I doubt the preceding lines will ever truly make sense.

My cheeky children came home from school and immediately rang Donna and told her that Sion, Donna's daughter, had told them that she (Donna)had filled the swimming pool and that they could come round for a swim any time they wanted too. Is this true, they asked, and can we come round now. I asked if I was invited too and eventually we decided we were all calling round to her place.

We had a great afternoon, pool was Ice cold,which I love, kids spent all afternoon in it, I did 10Min's the got out and spent the rest of the afternoon chatting to Donna's Dad. John certainly is one sprightly, if rather deaf, 79 yr old as he climbed a ladder to recover Josh's crossbow bolt from the roof!

We decided to go to the chip shop for tea so Deb and Donna went off and got them. Dona meat and chips for Nat and me, chips pies sausages and sundry for everyone else.

Left for home around 8pm, that's it for today.

Tuesday, 2 June 2009

Monday June 09! - June!!! Nuff said.

F**k Me It's June, where has the year gone again? This is the problem with working nights and working a 4 days on 4 days off shift pattern, time seems to literally fly by. It seems but a moment since I came back to work after my hip replacement. The same week Obama became President and that to feels as though it were mere weeks ago! Has he really been President for almost 5 months already.

The Kids went back to school today after the half term break so the house was unnaturally quite. How long this will last is moot as a swarm of JCB's appear to be massing outside our house, are they in season?

A lovely sunny day, relaxed in a chair on the patio reading a is good.
Kids home, no more reading, no more quite, life is still good but you can't tell the noisy argumentative little Bast*rds that, can you?

Last episode of the current series of the Gadget Show tonight, their Summer Special. Brill, Jason just gets more O.T.T. and the mini caravans were fantastic. Hope we win the competition £20K+ worth of "Gadg Goodness" and a chance to meet the cast, kiss me Suzy, kiss me!

All told, a nice day.