Thursday, 30 September 2010

Last Morning, C Upset, Weeding no Wedding, Jermey Kyle, Alien Abduction, Anal Probe, Baby Jesus, a Muslim Christian like Obama

I can’t really remember much of what happened on Thursday; like most finishing mornings you try to stay up for the rest of the day in order to go to bed later at a more reasonable time; but to be honest, by doing this, you end up too tied to remember what you did when you were keeping yourself awake in the first place! More proof, if any were needed, of the absolute truth of the existence of Sod’s Law.

One thing I do recall now I think about it is, how upset C was when we finished work that morning. Because I had to don my fluorescent jacket and plug in my mobile and switch on a podcast etc I was amongst the last, of our team, to leave. In fact, by the time this was all done, only C and I remained. She was virtually in tears because the other women on the team, with the exception of JB, hadn’t asked her anything about how her Son’s weeding (woops; I know he’s half Afro-Caribbean but I did actually mean wedding) had gone. Given she’s spent the best part of the past year planning it she was very upset by their lack of interest, in fact she was virtually in tears. I made appropriate noises but to be honest she has brought much of this on herself by being so changeable with people and very underhand in her dealings with them. Whilst I don’t agree with much of the Bible the “as you Sow so shall ye Reap” bit seemed somewhat appropriate. But, all this said and done, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for her.

Afterward I cycled Home toward and reached it at about 8:40, I turned on the PC, checked my email, for reasons unknown you can’t access Gmail at work, then read a few tweets before settling down to watch “The Circus of Chavs” that is The Jeremy Kyle Show. I know I bang on about this programme but it has to be seen to be believed. How he gets away with shouting at some of his guests is remarkable; IF HE DID IT TO THEM IN THE STREET HE’D MOST PROBABLY END UP BEING STABBED BY ONE OF THE LITTLE THUGS! Well none of them had “put something on the end of it” so it was the usual parade of teenage mothers and UNEMPLOYABLE, layabout, stay away, spliff smoking, “possible” fathers. Yes, even if there were three, or more, possible fathers, they each APPEARED to enjoy almost identical lifestyles.

After this it all becomes something of a blur and if I were of a more credulous frame of mind I’d be tempted to speculate that I might well have been abducted by Aliens, who had mysteriously induced this period of forgetfulness, in order for them to subject me to their strange bottom probing shenanigans. Of course, because I’m not his credulous I realised, immediately, that, in fact, I’d been in a transcendental state communing with The Baby Jesus…PRAISE BE HIS HOLY NAME! Whoops, that sounds a bit Muslim; better watch that because, gosh darn it; I don’t want to become one of them there Muslim Christians like what President Obama is! So close to five hundred words…Oh Yeah, with the edits I’ve just done it’s no longer the 500 barrier because we’ve just hit 560.

Last Night, No Concept of Time, C’s Son’s Wedding, Twittering, Followers, Following, Sarah Palin Anagrams, Viz Top Tips on Twitter

Well, that’s another four nights done and dusted, what was that don’t wish your life away you say? When you work this odd four on four off night shift it seems to wish itself away for you. After awhile you lose all sense of time, honestly I rarely know which day of the week it is. If you had to ask me I’d check more phone before I answered. I think there’s two main reasons for this, the fact that my week isn’t a week I’m on an eight day cycle and because I start on one day but finish on another. In addition, being asleep during the daytime four days out of eight probably doesn’t help. Oh well tonight C returned after almost a month away and she was full of her Son’s wedding; sounds like everything went like clockwork which is great because I know how much time and effort she put into arranging it. I’ll have to log into FaceBook at some point and take a look at the photos.
I’ve been Twittering again, so what’s new about that you ask? Nothing I reply but don’t you find it odd that I’m having a conversation with myself. “Yes I do”! “Who said that”? “You did”! Oh Frick this is worse than I thought! “Yes it is”. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyway, back to Twitter; my followers are slowly creeping up, I’ve just got two more this evening and I’m now batting 136 for 191 (those I follow). It’s very hard to keep track of things when you follow 191 others, how people who follow thousands cope is beyond me! Found out there was a Viz Top Tips Twitter site and I’ve tried to write a few silly tips for this plus been taking the mickey out of anagrams of Sarah Palin’s name. Please God who isn’t there please don’t let that brainless psycho bitch get elected President.

Tuesday, 28 September 2010

Ovi Share Disappears, Governors Meeting, Stupid Scientology, Religious quiz, Christine O’Donnell, The Fail Whale Striketh

Well, finally, something to write about; this morning, while trying to upload a receipt for Deb, it appeared that all the photos I had stored in OVI Share (Nokia’s online photo storage application) had disappeared. I searched and search to no avail. When at last I found a “Share on Ovi” tab it proved to be non-functional. I noticed the Steve Litchfield; one of the authors of All About Symbian (a website dedicated to the
Nokia mobile phone operating system) was posting on Twitter. I immediately sent him a desperate Tweet asking if he knew what was going on; thirty seconds later Ovi Share reappeared on the main OVI site and I felt like the school spanner. He, lovely fellow that he is, did reply a little while later, I’d sent him another tweet by then saying all was well again, suggesting I download copies of my photos as a precaution as Nokia did seem intend on ending this aspect of their OVI services. So, it wasn’t just me that had gained that impression; every time they update the site the photo sharing application becomes more and more unwieldy and a right royal pain in the arse to use.

This evening was the first Governors meeting of the current academic year. What a momentous meeting, we lost a Chairman (Carl), gained a chairman (Nick), welcomed a new governor (Karen Spence) and anticipated the arrival of another (Simon Gladwin). There was some very sad news when the Head informed us that Nicola (one of the teacher Governors) had lost her babies during her pregnancy. I know how that feels and at this moment she must be feeling awful; it does get better Nicola it‘s just that it doesn’t feel as if it ever will. Nick took charge of the meeting, he’s a former local councillor and local government worker, and proceeded to shepherd us rapidly through the agenda.

John, the Head, briefed us on the effects on the school of absorbing 14 of the pupils who formerly attended Holmfield School (which closed at the end of last term). They were settling in well and there weren’t any major problems arising from their arrival…which was good. The school has now reached saturation level and we would be hard pressed to take on any additional pupils. We continue to have a relatively high proportion of SEN (special educational needs) kids and of course these are an additional drain on teaching resources. There was an under current of apprehension as to what effect future cuts would have on the school and the three local schools that make up the catchment for this area. Ring fenced or not there are cuts coming and we’ll have spend clever if we are to weather them successfully. As ICT Governor I need to arrange a meeting fairly quickly with the deputy head Steve who is responsible for this area. There are pressures from one of the other schools to have more of the time of our IT technician mark and we need to avoid losing too much of his time ourselves. I need to meet with him, Mark and Aaron (the teacher who also has responsibility for IT and Hannah’s current form teacher).

Eventually we covered everything and the meeting ended with the agreement that, as then next meeting in November was the last before Xmas, we would go for a meal afterward and once more we decided on the Left Bank. Arthur, the local Vicar, took up some of the time querying the uses to which the mobile, in our grounds, was used and inquiring into the possibility of new buildings being erected on site…don’t you watch the news Arthur we ain’t getting any new buildings anytime soon!

Made it to work just before 10:00 and settled down for another night of fun and games. The second Panorama programme on Scientology aired tonight and, surprise, surprise as soon as I logged into Twitter I could see straight away that the hashtag #StupidScientology was trending in the top ten in the UK. Lots of these were very funny and I did my bit and contributed three of my own:

You don’t have to be a complete, utter and total idiot to fall #StupidScientology but… Oh, wait a minute, SORRY APPARENTLY YOU DO! #PANORAMA

Why did #Xenu throw people around volcanoes and A Bomb them? He was trying to establish himself in the Cratering Industry #stupidscientology

Dearest @engram don't leave me I promise I'll not be audited again! I need you, I'm sorry I fell for #stupidscientology I was totally pissed

I’ll have to watch it when I get home and see whether the stupid is catching; I’m praying to Xenu that it’s not.

Staying with the subject of stupidity I decided to read up on Christine O’Donnell  (in the Huffington Post no less - Home of all that is Woo), recent Republican victor in the Delaware Mid Term Primary, Teabagger and all around Christian Fundamentalist Wing Nut. What a waste of oxygen this woman is; she’d be hard pressed to score high enough to fail an Intelligence Test! What is it with the USA is the country determined to create it’s own pre-enlightenment dark age? The Right Wing Male Fundamentalists are bad enough but the women seem to be competing to show that they can out stupid them and they’re succeeding beyond their wildest dreams!

Kept reading and posting on Twitter but fell victim to the terrible Fail Whale on a couple of occasions. Also, for reasons unknown, New Twitter doesn’t work properly here; I’m unable to reply to or retweet anyone else’s tweets!

There was another article on Twitter concerning a questionnaire that had been used in the US to test people’s knowledge about their and other people’s religions. It was no surprise to discover that those who were the most religious were also the most ignorant. I took the quiz and scored 14/15 putting me ahead of 97% of the US population! If anyone’s interested the quiz can be found here.

Well that’s about it for today…unless something interesting happens between now and 08:00!

Something interesting did happen; at 06:50 I was told I had an individual QA briefing with simon and this lasted until 07:30. It was very informative but luckily I'm already doing everything that I was aware needed doing so there were just a few points concerning changes whilst I was away. I've gone through it all with a trusty highlighter pen and marked my bits.

Much Ado About Very Little

I knew that I lead a very boring life; it’s what happens when all your resources are so focused on your kids that you can’t even afford bus fare into town…poor me, but I can’t think of anything to write for the blog. Now this puts me in a difficult position because the deal is, if Nat writes then so must I! That’s OK with me; I’ve come to enjoy the actual act actually of actually writing in actual fact, but what if I’ve actually got nothing to say actually? Well that’s the position I find myself in at the moment. Apart from suffering a head cold, nothing has happened in the last twenty four hours, not a thing, nothing zilch! I came home this morning, mooched about a bit on the PC, watched the inimitable Jeremy Kyle Show and then went to bed. There I played podcasts whiles cuddling a hot water bottle and, invariably, fell asleep at some point during each of them and so heard none in their entirety.
I suppose I could discuss something other than me; Nat went to the NEC yesterday to attend the Warhammer Convention (?) and said it was ace…yes that’s it; it was ace! On a separate note he bought the latest Artemis Fowl book on Saturday and has nearly finished reading it. Hannah and he went boxing this PM but I’ve not heard how that went as Hannah disappeared to Cubs shortly after I woke and came downstairs. I had beans and two baked potatoes for dinner and was unable to eat the second potato. Whenever I’m poorly I immediately lose my appetite and constantly feel as if I’m about to throw up.
I made it to work and immediately wished that I hadn’t, mayhem, Christ the moment it gets a little colder or wetter we are inundated with calls. Its 01:12 now and they are still calling in. Go to bed for God’s sake. Somehow, it seems that I’ve crossed the magic three hundred words barrier and managed it without saying a thing. This now becomes a challenge to prevaricate endlessly.
I nearly FORGOT, Ed Milliband narrowly beat his brother David to become the new leader of the Labour Party ob Saturday last. His photo on the BBC website isn’t the most complementary; in fact it screams weird sociopath but that just might be me. No more “New Labour” and a disavowal of legacy of both Blair and Brown, loyalty it’s a wonderful thing. How quickly these people forget, weren’t all the candidates (with the exception of Diana Abbott) closely associated with both administrations? It would have been interesting if Diana Abbott had won but now it appears just to be same old same old!

Monday, 27 September 2010

Good Intentions Naughty Inaction

This week’s been a bit of a nothing really, hence just this single posting. I can’t think of anything in particular that I did, Nat went to the NEC to the GamesWorkshop event on Sunday 26/9 but that’s about it. Deb and I both intended to visit the allotment on Saturday and Sunday to clear everything and cover the plot over but it never happened. I stayed home all week playing on the PC and drinking too much beer. I didn’t even get round to watching recorded TV programmes, I think I’ve got SEVEN backlogged episodes of Southland s alone. In fact I can’t even think of anything to say to pad this out a bit, now it’s a sad day when I can’t even do that. What am I to do? I’ve made a pact with myself that I’ll write at least two hundred words per post and I hadn’t even reached one fifty when I stopped. Even now I’m only around one sixty and desperately struggling for something to say. I must have done too many tweets; yes 5that’s it I’m tweeted out and I’ve still got fifteen more words to write if I’m to make it.

Sunday, 26 September 2010

Games Day 2010 At The National Exhibition Center (NEC) Birmingham UK

Games day 2010

Today was Awesome. Zak and I arrived at GW and after waiting outside for a bit Sim arrived. When we got inside Brandon arrived and we had sausage cobs that were lovingly made by the GW staff. About 20-30 mins later we set of on the coach to the NEC and Games day. When we arrived we got of the bus and went inside we had to wait for about 30min before the doors opened and games day began. First we went to a game called Top Grot where you had to”fly” a plane and shot, missile and drop bombs on the models on the ground. Then we went to the movie and games area and saw a real life space marine.
From Drop Box

After this went and did awesome stuff after a while we linked up with one of Brandon's friends and we went and did more cool stuff after a while we went and saw the card games that where made by companies with links to GW after this we went to the seminar and saw some very confidential things that I can't tell you about. After this we went and built some conversions mine is a diorama that shows a lowly Guardsman killing a chaos daemon. After this we went and watched the winners of the Golden Daemon painting competition receive there awards. After this we went home.

Saturday, 25 September 2010

Amasing Electronic Art - Is this a Model of New York

The Sandpit from Sam O'Hare on Vimeo.

A day in the life of New York City, in miniature.

Winner: Prix Ars Electronica Award of Distinction 2010

Original Music: composed by Human (, co-written by Rosi Golan and Alex Wong.

Please view in HD and full screen for best effect. For a description of the shoot, camera, lenses and workflow, please see here:​aFmaPZ

I saw this on BBC 24 Click this morning and decided to keep a permanent record. Quite amazing very occassionally you realise it's not a model but most of the time you're fooled.

Thursday, 23 September 2010

Splash Camp!!!! 2010

Splash Camp!!!!

Darren picked me up at 17:15 on Friday 17. After I had been picked up we went to the barn and helped to put al the stuff we needed in the 2 cars and the 1 trailer. Once this task was complete we set of. After about 10-20 minutes of driving we got to the outdoor centre we then set up camp with the two sleeping tents being set up by the people who would be sleeping in them this one SPAG called Mark did not help set the tent up at all. Later on we played manhunt got our camp necker's and drank some co co by this time it was about 11 so we went to bed. Mark could not find his bag and so emptied our bags out trying to find it as it turned out the bag was behind him as a result of this we were very annoyed.


First of we had flag break and this is where Robin who is Explorer started perving on two girls from a different troupe. After flag break we went to activities we had open boating followed by kyaking both of theses were great I CAPSISED TWICE IN KYAKING LOL LOL LOL :)!!! After lunch we had the pool and Bell boating. At the pool I went scuba diving which was as awesome as I remember!!! After we got back from the pool we went bell boating and now it is not that kind of bell, you have a dirty mind especially you Hannah!!! Then we had dinner and did the same thing as the night before but we traded Mark for Josh so no more Mark!!!! :):):)


Today we had sailing and land activities I went with Brandon in a sailing boat but we had to come into shore as we kept capsizing but at least we got to go in a big boat with a leader when we were going fast we had to lean out the boat on the opposite side. As most of the group went back to camp for the land based activities we went and watched the RC motorboat racing. When we got back to camp there was one more activity to co water jousting our team was Alistair jousting and me and Brandon paddling. Out of all the scout groups we came second we normally get knocked out first so go us!!! After this we got changed as we fell in and then worked as a team to nick robins hat, chair and when he tried to tip it over us his jug of water TE HEE!!!!!! Then we came home.

By Nat

Wednesday, 22 September 2010

I Feel a Little Scribbling Coming On

I’ve been having a bit of a writing binge tonight and I’ve posted my views on two very different sites. In response to Godless Girl’s question I describe my own journey toward atheism and on The Patriot Post I responded to an attack upon atheists.

Both posts are below along with links back to the original sites.

Godless Girl – Would You Go Back to Faith

I was baptised in the Church of England. This, a strictly a strategic move on the part of my agnostic mother; she didn't feel it was fair to potentially damn me because of her choices. I never ever heard my father ever refer to religion, so far as I can recall, in his life. I attended Sunday school until the age of seven. I then asked, what I thought was a reasonable quest and receive an utterly asinine answer in return

Q. if we know other Gods are mythical how do we know ours is real…A. because God says so in the Bible

I'd never had strong feelings about God and "baby" Jesus to begin with and I'd say this was the moment I officially became an agnostic. As the absence of evidence, for the existence of God, grew and as intolerant religious fundamentalism spread, my agnosticism evolved (I'm surely damned for using that word) into atheism. I'd have been happy to remain agnostic and unconcerned about religion but these madmen scare me and make me fear for my children’s futures. So in answer to the original question I've no faith to return to...Thank God!

My Response to -

Atheism: What a Joke By William Murchison

When God created the Universe were you there with your camera? I believe you've just been hoist on own petard. You sneer at the conclusions of learned men who've spent their lives researching these matters and maintain that in fact it was all done by a “Beardy Man who Lives on a Cloud”. You seriously believe in a “Beardy Man” and have the nerve to scoff at the reasoned beliefs of others You, sir, know nothing of what you speak; indeed you are the empty vassal (pun intended) who continues to make the most noise.

Tuesday, 21 September 2010

Tuesday 21 September 2010

Tuesday 21 September

Today the traffic lights at the fox hunter round about where still out that is now 5 days and it is getting very annoying as no one stop for you so you have to try and find a gap in the traffic I was stuck there for 10 minutes today and almost got run over twice.
After school we went and booked my party at the new lazer tag place it looks briliant.

Today the traffic lights at the fox hunter round about where still out that is now 5 days and it is getting very annoying as no one stop for you so you have to try and find a gap in the traffic I was stuck there for 10 minutes today and almost got run over twice.
After school we went and booked my party at the new lazer tag place it looks briliant.

Monday, 20 September 2010

Monday 20 September 2010

Monday 20 September

Today was pretty standard I cycled to school and got stuck at the Foxhunter roundabout for 10 minutes because not one of the twats that went round that roundabout stopped to let me cross the road not a single one. When I got home Brandon and I went on Halo Reach and we got a Easter egg we went to the memorial room but first we had to play through about 30 min of enemies attacks on legendary difficulty the kill 10 Elite generals so it was not easy but it was worth it.  
 Nat (the Ginster) Jones

Sunday, 19 September 2010

Holding Sun Mon Tues - too Tired To Write Right Now


han and Shantell fallen out again at harleens, han + Shan make up,

twitter - write up twitter experiences to date  , followers, getting retweets xchange with odd guy

Stayed up until 13:00, stiff neck in bed, quiet night , Juluie W 's shouting match, mad CO call disable old dear and raving hubby.


Saturday, 18 September 2010

Pope, Westminster Cathedral, Will This Ever End, BBC Brown Nosing, Back To Work, Busy on EA Tonight

Today the his Holymess was doing a show at Westminster Cathedral so I stayed up to watch it on BBC 24 while swopping tweets with others doing the same. I’d got work in the evening so couldn’t stay up all day but I managed to make it to midday before going upstairs to Bedfordshire. I attended a Catholic wedding once and that seemed as if it would never end but compared to this long drawn out farce it was but the briefest moment.

Jesus, if you’ll pardon the reference, the right-wing press have been berating the BBC for being anti-papist but their coverage could not have been more sycophantic. It seemed as if most of the commentators were paid up Bells and Smells left footers. The BBC must have had to spend a fortune getting their brown noses clean after this display of reverence. I don’t know how much time was paid to the anti-pope rally being held, in London, that afternoon, as I was, by then, in my bed but what I saw was the BBC shoving it’s collective nose as far up the papal fundement as it was possible for said proboscis to reach. Shame on you Auntie Beeb!
Well it’s the start of another busy our nights as we start the journey into Winter. Tonight , after a dream ride in on my newly repaired bicycle, was probably the busiest it’s been for months and of course tonight was the night I drew the EA short straw. I can off normal duties at 22:00 and joined Jeff on EA; apparently we issued over a one hundred by then! Eventually, after a few strained hours we broke the back of it and the rest of the night passed routinely enough. When things had quietened down I started catching up on these outstanding blog posts. Left on time home by 8:30

Friday, 17 September 2010

Twitter, Pope Blames Hitler, Stalin and Mao on Atheists, Cartoon Rebuttal, Haircut, Bike Back, Splash Camp, Losing It With Hannah's Crying,

Another night passed in front of the PC twittering away about the Papal visit and the damned arrogance of that former Hitler Youth berating atheist for all the carnage of the last century. Not a bad strategy when most people think Hitler was an atheist along with Stalin and Mao. In fact he was a Catholic and in his speeches and writings makes numerous references to that effect. Whenever we atheists are blamed for the slaughter of the innocents I’m always reminded of this cartoon which seems apropos.

Don’t try blaming us matey, we don’t go round killing people in the name of an imaginary beardy friend who lives on a cloud. In fact, I’d suggest that we probably respect life far more that you and your death obsessed cult.
When Deb got home she took me to get my hair and beard cut (A Number Two - I’m a skinhead now) and then dropped me off to pick up my bike. Wow, what a difference, it was like riding a brand new bike...Oh TheJoy!

Nat was off to Splash camp this afternoon with his scout troop. It was being held at the canal basin in Leicester over the weekend and he was picked up and off shortly after 5:00 that afternoon. Darren was kind enough to take him so that was one less journey for us.

Before he left he and Hannah were once again bickering and somehow she hit him and appeared to have really hurt him. Instead of seeing if he was OK she started crying hysterically; I’m sorry to admit that at this point I lost it with her big time, I blame tiredness, and gave her a totally over the top telling off. Of course this only had the effect of making her worse, getting Deb mad at me and resulting in a strained atmosphere for the rest of the evening. I’ve got to work out a strategy that works with that child before she and I are completely alienated.

Eventually she and Deb went to bed and once again I spent the night downstairs on the PC fuming at Hannah.

Thursday, 16 September 2010

Go On Popey...You Know You want to, Shock Horror...Hannah and Shantelle Make Up...AGAIN, Pope and Queen Fact

I can’t recall what happened on Thursday; I was supposed to collect my bike that afternoon (the shop rang me at 11:00 to say it was ready). However when Deb came home she told me we had to do something else and that there wouldn’t be time to fetch my bike before the shop closed. The thing is, that, try as I might, I can’t for the life of me recall what it was we did. I’ve been racking my brain for the last half hour but it’s still a complete blank. I’d ask her when I get home but I doubt that she’ll recall either. Worse still I’m completely at a lose to recall anything else from that day either; I’m pretty sure I spent some time on Twitter and I think Hannah and Shantelle made up, ready for the next argument, but apart from that nothing. So what am I to write about this negatively momentous day? I can’t do less than two hundred words as that’s become my personal minimum. I’ve a few to go before I reach that magic number and I’m struggling for something to say. Luckily waffle appears to have carried the day because this is number two hundred and seven. Oh I’ve just remembered that bloke from Rome, the one in the dress, arrived in Scotland and proceeded to blame people like me for every ill he could think of. nice try Popey old chap but it’s still your priests who are guilty of systematic child rape and your church that’s guilty of covering it up. I hadn't realised that he arrived in Scotland to meet the Queen because as the head of the Church of England she couldn't meet him on English soil; how quaint!

Thursday 16 September

Thursday 16 September

Today was pretty stander I did nothing special. I went to school came home went on the Xbox with Brandon played Halo Reach VERY VERY sad George (he is a main caricature) dies but takes a Covernent super carrier with him. Brandon is going to Judo with me he has decided to take the sport up again after a few years.

Wednesday, 15 September 2010

Buggered Bike, £120 Repairs!!!, Shock Horror Hannah and Shantelle Fall Out (Over Demi, this time)...AGAIN,

I’m not sure if I went to bed in the morning after Deb and the kids had left; most likely dosed on the sofa while trying to watch Jeremy berating today’s chavs. I’d had to use Nat’s bike the previous night for my beer run to ASDA because my bike’s back tyre was completely flat. Further inspection revealed it to be completely withered and we finally decided to get its long overdue service done. If only I’d known how bad it was, no wonder I’d felt like I was peddling treacle and was sweat soaked on arrival at work. New tyres, new brakes, new gears and a general overhaul were required to return it to its original pristine condition. It cost me £120 all told and I was advised it would be available to pick up the next day.

Shock horror; Hannah and Shantelle have fallen out again, over what this time I’m sure I don’t know. I do know, Hannah is friends with a girl named Demi at school who Shantelle doesn’t like and who doesn’t like Shantelle in return. I don’t know if they have ever actually met but this appears to have no bearing on little girl’s squabbles. The upshot was that Shantelle, who seems more insecure as each day passes, told Hannah that she couldn’t be friends with the both of them. Han’s response, reasonably enough, I’d say, was to say that Demi was her friend at school, Shantelle attends a different school, and that she never played with the both of them simultaneously so what business was it of Shantell’s ? Well that was it, if Han was Demi’s friend then she wasn’t Shantell’s; this is becoming ridiculous they’re falling out, with each other, every other day at the moment. Only six words to three hundred and three!

Tuesday 14 of September HALO REACH!!!

Tuesday 14 of September HALO REACH!!!

Halo Reach came out today which means today is the best day in the history of the world. As a result I am ecstatic over the moon and super happy and the best bit is it was at home when I got back from school and not just normal reach LEGANDERY edition which comes with so much.

Tuesday, 14 September 2010

Halo Reach Arrives, Meet The MD, Julie B's Hubby Panics, Beer and Tweets

I returned home from work this morning knowing that I’d been given explicit instructions that I wasn’t to go to sleep until Nat’s Halo Reach game was delivered, it became available today and his was pre-ordered for delivery today. Hooray, I’m home and there’s this huge box on the dinning table containing said Halo Reach. Apparently it arrived shortly after he’d left for school. Why does a video game require a box this big and why did it cost £90 (£70 with Quidco cash back, clever Deb)!!! We’ve been “invited” to come into work tonight, we’re off for four days finished this AM, to meet with the new MD of the company. Hasmukh has twisted my arm and agreed that he’ll pick me up and drop me home; I’ve no desire to cycle in and then cycle home in pitch darkness. So no staying up for me today; I’ll be off to bed about midday for six hours kip.

Well bless my, nonexistent, soul I’m glad I made it in to this meet and greet; this chap certainly knows all the tricks of getting an audience on side. Your name, how long have you worked for (THE COMPANY) and tell as all one unusual fact about yourself. He quickly settled on Gail as his comic foil as she was sat next to him. Cynicism aside, it was very interesting and very nice of him to visit such a small group as ourselves and what he had to say certainly was interesting. We arrived at 8:00 the meeting got underway at 9:00 and lasted until just before 11:00. Julie B’s hubby got so concerned about her whereabouts (I’m off for a half hour dear be back soon) that he phoned her 10 times. Unfortunately her phone was turned off so eventually he roused their adult kids from their beds and sent them out hunting for their missing Mum. Now that’s a man after me late dad’s heart; he’d get paranoid if my Mum was half an hour late home, much to her annoyance!

Hasmukh dropped me home around 11:00 and I just had time to cycle to Asda to get some beer. I knew I was now going to be awake for the rest of the night and so libation was urgently needed!

I spent the remainder of the night on the PC twittering away to insomniacs and those inhabiting other time zones. I’m becoming addicted to this medium now that I’m actually interacting with other people!

Monday, 13 September 2010

Blogging From Work

As I’ve just informed my massive Twitter audience (99 followers Oh Mr Hundred where are you in my time of need) it’s time to get the Bones chronicles up to date. Here goes entry 732: So, what you do today Bonesie? Sod all, the end! That was painless unfortunately I’m not allowed to do that or Nat would use the same strategy. So as boring as my day has been, slept most of it as I had last night shift tonight, I’ve got to come up with at least a couple of hundred words. Hence, the reason for this blog’s sub-title:- Bollocks, Lies and Outrageous Garbage.

Not a lot to say about my bollocks, last time I went for a number one they appeared to still be where I last left them so that’s OK. My “gentleman” continues to be 13 inches when soft growing to a respectable 26 inches when partially erect. OK that’s the lies out of the way. Nothing left to do now but write the garbage.

I’m thinking of becoming a “Born Again” cannibal, yes that’s correct I’m joining the Church of Rome and taking Holy Communion. It’ll be just in time for the visit of His Holymess Bendidic LXIX which starts this Thursday. I along with the rest of the UK population will be able to rejoice as we welcome this paedophile protecting Vicar of Christ to our fair shores. Hail Hail we’ll all be shouting, no doubt bringing back, to him, the happy memories of his childhood. I think that he should be entertained by musical child prodigies particularly those who excel on the violin because I understand he’s been involved with kiddie fiddling for quite a number of years now.

Oh, Bonsie, leave the poor old Pope alone what’s he ever done to you. Nothing, I reply, but that’s only because my parents didn’t send me to a Catholic school…Boom, Boom or perhaps bang, bang depending on the priest!

I’ve been on Twitter for much of the time this evening after things quietened down. It helps me stay away by making me concentrate on writing 140 characters. I think I must have a degree of OCD because I spend minutes at a time on each tweet to ensure that everyone is exactly 140 characters long. I wonder if anyone’s noticed. I’m as compulsive with this thing too. I’m always trying to hit exactly so many words, shit I just passed four hundred where I could have stopped now I’ll have to press on to five hundred. Actually it’s not that bad because something quite important seems to have happened on Twitter tonight. A well-known Christian fundamentalist author and twitterer @JoeCienkowski appears to have been caught out sending a link to pornography to an underage kid. If this is the case then his ass is grass because people everywhere have copied the tweet making it impossible for him to delete it from the web. Stones and glass houses Joe, if you are going to tell everyone that yours is indeed the true word of God you best stir clear of any accusations of kiddie fiddling. After all Joe, you are a protestant you don’t have the Church of Roman there to cover your arse like they cover the arses of those priests that covert the arses of others.

1. It seems that things have turned serious here and I’m off the garbage. When it comes to someone like our friend Joe you finally understand why the Germans came up the word Schadenfreude (

2. I’ve just sent Joe the following tweet as it seemed only fair to give him a heads up - mysickbones @JoeCienkowski: Just heard about UR "tweet" - Schadenfreude it's a German word that U mayB hearing alot now #antitheism

What I can’t understand about these people is; why they don’t think before they act. Do they become so arrogant so sure of their “rightness” that eventually they believe themselves a law unto themselves? This sixsixsix (666) word, I’m the Anti-Christ; shit no I’m not because I didn’t stop there, bollocks back to being plain old me when with a little though I could have been Lucifer’s representative here on Earth…next time I’ll stop and think, here that Joe? Stop and think before you act because you can’t put the milk back in the bottle or close Pandora’s Box…EVER!

I’ve been rereading, redrafting to 140 characters and tweeting exerts from Robert Heinlein’s Notebooks of Lazarus Long and I’d forgotten how good they were. Poor old RH might have gone a little off the deep-end as he got older but much of his earlier stuff still stands up well. Time Enough for Love is probably the last book he read before his apparent obsession with the “fineness” of women overcame him. Most of what he wrote after this seemed, to me at the time, a bit barmy. It’s good to see that the Notebooks have stood the test of time and are as pithy today as when I first read them. Now this is what a rightwing US libertarian looks like when unburdened with religion; a little bristly and curmudgeonly somewhat argumentative but generally a pretty decent person. Such a shame that there seem to be so few of them in the modern US of A!

What happened to the literary heroes of my youth? RH goes a bit doddle alley, Arthur C Clarke, allegedly, spends his twilight years bumming Sri Lankan boys what of the last of the “Great Three” Isaac Asimov? I’ve just Wiki’d him only to discover that he too had feet of clay. Apparently he was a claustrophile: he enjoyed small, enclosed spaces and was, also, deadly afraid of flying. It seems he, flew only twice during his entire life. According to him his childhood dream was to own a magazine stand in a New York subway station where he could remain happily enclosed. This certainly explains his detective character Elijah Baley in his Robot Books. Oh well what does it signify anyway; all three gave me tremendous pleasure as a child and for that I’ll always be grateful.

Well that’s it, over the thousand word mark so that’ll do for today as I end on the 1042nd word.

PS When I get home I've got to stay awake until Nat's new Halo Reach game is delivered. Apparently tomorrow is the release date and he's arranged for it to be delivered on the first day; correction Deborah's arranged for this. Now this makes it 1109 words

The day before reach comes out

Monday 13 September

1 day to go until the best game in the history of the universe comes out I am of cause talking about Halo Reach. The only downside is that because of all the excitement I will not get any sleep tonight, hurray!! Now as the date draws nearer and nearer I prepare my self by meditating and thinking about the best game ever halo reach.

Twitter Shouter, Forgotten Boots, Loughborough, Ollie's Shoulder, Other Injuries, Zak 2Play, Hannah make-up, Wedding Cake,

I’m afraid I was guilty of SHOUTING on Twitter (hangs head in shame and begs the fail whale for forgiveness) this morning. I know how could I let it happen? Well it’s because I was tired after a long night and I then discovered the following direct message: - FlyingFree333 @suranee_ @mysickbones Nobody has ever killed anyone in the name of #atheism if you think they have you don't know what the word means. Now I’d never suggested such a thing and it took me awhile to work out what on earth this was referring to. I eventually concluded that it referred to a tweet I’d posted referencing Brian Dunning’s Skeptoid ( podcast - Who Kills More, Religion or Atheism? (the old chestnut of the religious claiming that Hitler, Stalin and the like committed genocide BECAUSE they were atheists – no they did it because, as Eddie Izzard put it, they were murdering fuckheads). I’m an easy going kind of guy but, as my kids will testify, don’t piss me off when I’m tired. So, shameful as it is to admit, I fired off a quick, ill considered, CAPITALISED, response…whoops! Anyway, I’ve yet to hear back from flyingfree333 and if I do I suppose I should apologise.

While all this drama was taking place Deb and Nat were getting ready to leave for Loughborough where the Vipers were playing rugby that morning. Nat’s got an amazing brain that remembers everything; everything that is except what he needs to immediately remember. A little while after they’d left I receive a call from Deb asking if Nat had left his rugby boots at home. Sure enough there they were on the coffee table twenty miles away from where they were needed. There wasn’t a chance that Deb could get back to collect them so Nat ended up playing in a borrowed pair two sizes too small for him. Perhaps he’ll remember next time! Loughborough, it turned out, not only creamed them but also hurt a few of our players. Poor old Ollie it seems now sports a broken shoulder and another lad had his thumb dislocated. Sport, don’t you just love it? Zak went along to watch and, despite the carnage, is apparently going to start playing for the Vipers next week.

Shortly after they’d left Hannah raised her self from her slumber and proceeded to paint herself like the Whore of Babylon; when will she realise that she is nine years old and not nineteen? We had a few words about how much make-up it’s appropriate for a Nine year old to wear but it went in one ear and straight out the other. God, I’m not looking forward to when she really is a teenager!
Anyway, I eventually popped off to bed at 12:00 leaving her alone watching, surprise, surprise, some cloned production line teen comedy/drama on the Disney channel. I’m sure Disney actually does clone these kids because they all look exactly the same and certainly the scripts are all the same.
Woke at Six to a cacophony coming from the garden; Nat, Jacob and Zak were being “boyish” on the trampoline and Hannah was mainly in tears as she tried to join them. While I was eating dinner Shantelle called with a large piece of wedding cake from Lydia, how kind, which I knew I’d never get to taste. I’m sure I’m psychic because as I was leaving for work Deb and Hannah were munching their way through it!
Cycled to work and arrived at about 8:20, I wore a thin fleece, the weather was mild, and so for once I wasn’t soaked in seat by the time I arrived. JDM was back, from his two weeks in Cyprus, tonight and does he look fit and tanned…well no actually, I’m joking he’s looking a fit as a fiddle and you’d never believe he having an op on his knee in a couple of weeks.

Pretty quite tonight so I’ve been tweeting again and writing this…back to Twitter, let’s hope the Fail Whale’s gone!

Sunday, 12 September 2010

Twittering, Penn Jillette: A Complement and a Retweet. The Broken Link

1. Well have I made it into the big time or what? This evening I responded to a 9/11 related tweet sent out by Penn Juliette of Penn and Teller fame.

He had twittered “Imagine No Religion” with a link to a picture of the Twin Towers with the Sun raising between them. In response I replied with the following “@pennjillette Unfortunately although they worship an Imaginary Friend the essential problem with the religious is their lack of imagination! To which, to my astonishment, he replied with the following tweet direct to me: “pennjillette @mysickbones - Wow, very well written. I then discovered that he had retweeted my original tweet to his 1, 625,379 followers. Wow now that’s a lot of people reading what you have to say; mind you, as I attracted no more followers after this, maybe it’s not that big a deal. The thing is I do, after a year of effectively talking to myself, seem to have started interacting with others on Twitter. It seems to be a question of focusing on an area and then concentrating on it fully; with me that area is promoting atheism, science and scepticism. This wasn’t all, I had tweeted a link to A Kansan's Guide to Science ( to show that not everyone in that State was a fundamentalist God Bothering Bigot (although it is the State where the Flying Spaghetti Monster was originated; in response to a school board trying to introduce “Intelligent Design” into the school syllabus) which another twitterer forwarded to an American biblical fundamentalist. Unfortunately dicovg had accidently cut the last letter off of the end of the link so it didn’t work. I’ve sent him a tweet to advise him what’s happened; hopefully he’ll send it again.

Friday, 10 September 2010

Friday Wedding Reception

Deb took the kids to Braunstone Workingman’s Club to attend Lydia and Lyon’s wedding disco to which they’d received an invitation because Hannah is friends with Shantelle, Lidia daughter by her previous marriage. Below are the few photos and one video that Deb took. There are also a few photos that Hannah and I took of Deb but these don’t seem to be properly in focus. As to what happened there, how long they stayed and what they did I wait, as no doubt do you dear reader, with bated breath to be told? Until then I’m as in the dark as you: (insert report of event, if received, below)

The Few Photos and One Video!

Back to Work, Hannah Singing, Sweaty Again, Podcasts, Lidia’s Wedding Reception, Autumn’s Here

Today is a back to work day so I’ll need to sleep in the day time ready for the long night’s stint. Having stayed up all night again by the time Deb came downstairs I was falling asleep on the sofa, having finally abandoned the net a little while earlier. While she and the kids got ready for the day I drifted in and out of consciousness. I was half asleep when they left and semi awoke to the music of the Jeremy Kyle show. I half watched another bunch of semi literate family members threatening each other with violence but didn’t really get the gist of it; probably that was the gist of it anyway with many of these families violence seems to be their alpha and omega. So, to bed I told myself only to discover that I was once more fully awake. I returned to the PC for an hour or so until I tired sufficiently to make the trip up the stairs to Bedfordshire. I did have an amusing exchange on twitter with

Slept most of the day drifting in and out of various podcasts until I was woken by Hannah returning home, with Deb, singing loudly. Nat had come home an hour earlier but I hadn’t heard him. I drifted off again, eventually, until Deb came and got me out of bed at 6:00 PM. Downstairs Hannah was besides herself with excitement about going to a wedding, well the reception, and kept urging Deb and Nat to go even though it wasn’t due to start until 7:30. They did leave at 7:30 leaving me to finish getting ready for work. Left Home just before 8:00 and arrived at work 30 minutes later once more bathed in sweat. You just can’t win, if it’s warm you sweat anyway and if its cold you sweat under your coat. Either way arrived and upon entering the building was immediately drenched in perspiration. It’s not been busy tonight, surprisingly given how cold the weather’s turned but I’m trying to get into my winter mindset as looks like autumn has arrived early.

Thursday, 9 September 2010

Twittering, Rufus Hound, Ubummer, School Rugby Training, Wedding Invite

Bit of a non-day really, spent most of the day online just mooching about; winding down some what from twitter; although I did get into a very brief exchange with Rufus Hound re whether he called Marcus Brigstock “bummer” or “ubummer” on Argumental (which returns for a new series tomorrow hooray). Kindly came back and confirmed it was U Bummer which is great because that’s why it’s Nat’s X-box name. Nice guy sent two responses agreeing it was u bummer so Nat I can now relax. We went and picked Nat up from school after rugby training and eventually I succumbed to tiredness and went to bed at 6:00 PM. Woke up at 1:00 and I’m downstairs now writing this amongst other things. Having reread Rufus Hound reply I now realise he confirmed it OiUBummer; oh well no harm done, especially as I’ve now established a Twitter account in that name should we ever need it. Oh I nearly forget, Shantell’s Mum is getting married on Friday and invited us to the reception being held at the Braunstone Workingmen’s Club in the evening. I won’t be able to go because of work but she and the kids are going.

Wednesday, 8 September 2010

Twitterthon, Robin Ince, Robin Eccles, Getting Real Followers, Pope Song, Tim Minchin, B.i.b.l.e Acronyms, Religious Thoughts, Quantum Tissues, Deepak Chopra, Tosser

Its 18:06 right now and I feel like I've been at the PC for 18 hours straight and that's because, in fact, I almost have. I've got the Twitter bug today, it comes and goes, and today I've got it bad. On the upside I must be doing something right because I'm getting more followers, albeit slowly, and I'm getting retweeted and getting personal replies. I was involved in two conversations last night, one with the quite famous comedian Robin Ince and the other was with another funny guy who was also named Robin…(spooky ah, nearly got me believing in God there)…who pointed me to Tim Minchin's Pope Song on YouTube - I'll be forever grateful and in your debt for that Robin.

I’ve been tweeting off and on all day in between trying to push said video everywhere I could; this must go viral before his Holymess’s arrival. Got involved in one fun thing on Twitter which was creating disrespectful acronyms for the word bible (should that have a capital letter – yes but only if you’re being respectful) Here are the ones I managed to come up with, not too shabby if I say so myself:

(B)rainless (I)diots (B)elieve (L)udicrous (E)xcremnet

(B)abbling (I)nfants (B)est (L)ittle (E)ducator

(B)ullshitting (I)nsanity (B)acks (L)egendary (E)xploits




(B)uggering (I)nnocent (B)oys (L)essons(E)nclosed

Such fun, especially when you post them back to the fundamentalist nut jobs, which persist in infesting Twitter endlessly extolling the absolute truth of the bible, as I did, repeatedly! These obsessed lunatics cannot for one moment comprehend, and tso feel threatened by, those of us who do not need their fairy stories in order to sleep (without being haunted by a ceaseless fear of an eternal death) at night. Because, at the heart of the matter, that’s what lies behind their fanaticism; fear, the fear that they won’t have an after-life (well apart from the con artists who know better and just say it so as to fleece the desperate) that all that they are will come to an end and to that end relatively soon!. So afraid are they of this that they waste the only lives they have preparing for one they won’t. If that gives them comfort then who am I to spoil that for them? I’d happily leave them to it if they didn’t insist on telling the rest of us that we have to believe as they do on pain of eternal damnation in the fictional after life and persecution here in the real one. Yes, I agree it’s unfair, the thought that my beautiful children will age and one day die breaks my heart but the only alternative to that outcome is that they were never born to begin with. I can’t make them immortal all I can do is try to stop them worrying about it too much and try to ensure that they enjoy the lives they do have without wasting them on their knees praying to a non-existent saviour for an afterlife they won’t have.

Well that’s enough philosophizing for one night; Twitter’s quiet, I’m bored with reading tech and other stuff so it’s time to use the Internet for the purpose it was created for, investigating particle physics and porn; could someone please pass the Quantum Tissues… Deepak Chopra perhaps, after all you talk utter shit about the one and are self evidently highly skilled practitioner of the other! No, I don’t mean you understand quantum mechanics!

Why Do People Become "Healers"

Tuesday, 7 September 2010

Trying To Join The Twitterati - Not A Wasted Day...Honest!

Very much like yesterday, Tuesday drifted by on a cloud of nothing in particular, I must start that Stanford course...soon. If I recall I started my Twitter marathon determined to start interacting with others rather than simply posting shit that no one reads. As for the rest of the family I don’t think any of us did anything of note or if we did I don’t recall. This is one of the problems that come with working nights; on my days off I tend to stay up during the nights and catch some sleep during the day. The upshot is that I possess little sense of time and can’t recall if I did something today or yesterday. I’ll have to start twittering on my phone at the time something happens and use these as aids to my recall. Anyway judging by tomorrow’s entry I stayed on the PC most of the day and through the night mainly on Twitter. I did archive my goal though and began to actually interact with other people. Started cobnverstion with robineccles who later sent my the Tim Minchin video link.

Hannah Graduates to a Bigger Bike

At long last Hannah has taken over Nat's old bike and is now riding a bicycle more becoming of her size!
From Drop Box
From Drop Box

In Case you Weren't Sure of what you Heard - here are the Lyrics

For those of you who have been asking, here are the lyrics.

Fuck the motherfucker, fuck the motherfucker,
Fuck the motherfucker hes a fucking motherfucker.
Fuck the motherfucker, fuck the fucking fucker,
Fuck the motherfucker hes a total fucking fucker
Fuck the motherfucker, fuck the motherfucker,
Fuck the mother fucker, fuck him, fuck the motherfucker.
Fuck the motherfucker, fuck the motherfucking pope.

Fuck the motherfucker, and fuck you motherfucker
If you think that motherfucker is sacred.
If you cover for another motherfucker whos a kiddy-fucker,
Fuck you, youre no better than the motherfucking rapist.
And if you dont like the swearing that this motherfucker forced from me
And reckon it shows moral or intellectual paucity
Then fuck you motherfucker, this is language one employs
When one is fucking cross about fuckers fucking boys

I dont give a fuck if calling the pope a motherfucker
Means you unthinkingly brand me an unthinking apostate.
This has nowt to do with other fucking godly motherfuckers
Im not interested right now in fucking scriptural debate.
There are other fucking songs and there are other fucking ways,
Ill be a religious apologist on other fucking days,
But the fact remains if you protect a SINGLE kiddy fucker
Then Pope or Prince or Plumber, youre a fucking mother fucker.

See I dont give a fuck what any other motherfucker
Believes about Jesus and his motherfucking mother.
Ive no problem with the spiritual beliefs of all these fuckers
While those beliefs dont impact on the happiness of others,
But if you build your church on claims of fucking moral authority
And with threats of hell impose it on others in society,
Then you, you motherfuckers, can expect some fucking wrath
When it turns out youve been fucking us in our motherfucking asses.

So fuck the motherfucker, and fuck you motherfucker
If youre still a motherfucking papist.
If he covered for a single motherfucker whos a kiddy-fucker,
Fuck the motherfucker, hes as evil as the rapist.
And if you look into your motherfucking heart and tell me true
If this motherfucking stupid fucking song offended you,
With its filthy fucking language and its fucking direspect,
If it made you feel angry, go ahead and write a letter,
But if you find me more offensive than the fucking possibility
The pope protected priests when they were getting fucking fiddly
Then listen to me motherfucker - this here is a fact,
You are just as morally misguided as that motherfucking,
Power-hungry, self-aggrandized bigot in the stupid fucking hat.

Tim Minchin - Pope Song

Monday, 6 September 2010

Science, Reason and Critical Thinking: Modern Science Map

"This is an outstanding "creation" surely it must have had a desigber "Designer"? - The Diuscovery Discovery Insitute

"Well that's me proved wrong there's no way this could have evolved" Trickie Dickie Dawkins "I'm a coming Lord I'm a coming...shit, I've cum"!

Seriously though folks, if you go to Crispian's site you'll laugh your socks off at his spoof material but this...this is different, this should be on every PC in every School in the World...especially those poor benighted schools down there in the third world state of Texas...Yahoo!

Home, Not A Lot, Undergound Map of Science

Finished work this morning at 8:00 and cycled home; Deb and the kids had left by the time I arrived there. Don’t really remember a lot about today, I’m writing this on Friday 10 / Saturday 11 back at work, because I failed to make any notes in anticipation of writing this. I’m just going to see if I can garner anything from Nat’s entry for today (the only one he’s done this week – boy Halo Reach will be out of reach if you don’t do these blogs). Not much help after all, he went boxing and to scouts but he doesn’t tell me what I did, slept probably! So that’s it for Monday unless I have a sudden memory surge (?) and remember how I created cold fusion using only a baked bean tin and a very strong hallucinogenic.

One amazing Inter-web (that’s what everyone now seems to call the Web) discovery was Chrispian Jago’s London Underground Map of Western Scientific advancement since the 16th century which I’ve linked to in a separate post. Incredible work, his humorous stuff is always worth a look but this (map) is an incredible achievement and should adorn the PC’s of every school child, in this or and every other country. Actually it should be on every PC full stop it’s that good.

Nat's Notes Monday 6 September

 school again but we did have Drama but the new drama teacher is a bit annoying but that's not to bad. After school I had Boxing and Scouts where I helped to write the list of the food we are going to take to camp with us which were all quick simple things as we going to have to cook the food our selves on an open fire

Nat's notes Last week of the summer holiday and back to School 30 August-5 of september

Last week of the summer holiday and back to School

On Monday I went to Jacobs in the afternoon. We went on the Xbox and we played Halo 3, Cod 5 and Cod 6. We also went on the PC and went on YouTube and watched Halo Reach videos.

Tuesday Did nothing apart from go to the cinema to see Scott Pilgrim VS The World with Brandon and Zak before and after this we all played on Resident Evil 5.

Wednesday Jacob came round and we went to Zak's house to play table tennis on his table tennis table that he got for his birthday (try saying that 5 times when you're pissed) I was OK for a NOOB!!!!!!! later I went to scouts and played man hunt. I also learnt about the 7 day county camp next year.

Thursday First day as a year 8 :) Found out that I have gone up a set in English and maths :() Henri is still in my class :(miss lewis told us a story about a girl who went to a private school costing 100K and came out with two GCSE :(:(:(:(:(:(:(

Friday First proper day of school had English, maths, science, French and music. I have gone up a set in English and maths, I am also in top French. When I got home I took my bike for a service.

Saturday today I went into town with Zak and Brandon no Sam he was at a party. When we got to town we went to GW but there were no 40K games so we went to Gifts for Geeks and played a game there. We had lunch at Munch Munch. Later on we went to HMV.

Sunday Rugby!!!!! The season has started again and even with Brandon's treachery we have enough players that is if everyone is there we did training which was good but because not everyone had there gum shields so we could not play full contact at the end of the game just tag.  

Mr Potato Head meets Steampunk and becomes Sir Spudnik

This is the reason why I love Steam Punk: Everybody put you brass gloved hands together and welcome
Sir Spudnik

QA Briefing, Jobs at Risk, Ash and the Vacancy, Hit Men, Ovi Share,Cloud, Dawn, Silent Nights (bad pun), One Thousand Works, Karl Popper,Going On and On and On….1,400

Tonight we had a very long session with CC about the Co’s failure to achieve its quality assurance targets. This was a long brief and it highlighted the problems they are having in getting front line staff to comply with the regulatory requirement of the FSA.

It’s true that many of these regulations aren’t applicable to our team (we are on the graveyard shift, with limited access to the Co’s systems and dealing primarily with out-of-hours “emergencies”) because we aren’t involved in selling (of insurances), however it did bring us up to speed with the problems that the Co is experiencing with many of the in-day staff (through bad training, lack of understanding or because of other reasons) not carrying out their jobs properly.

Now, given the possible catastrophic consequences of these compliance failures, for both the business as a whole and the directors personally, this issue will not going away anytime soon!

I suspect that, over the next few months, quite a few people are going to find out that the Co no longer wants to offer them gainful employment!

I, for one and I’m sure I’m not the only one, wouldn’t want to be occupying or even applying for a management role in this Co anytime soon. It was made abundantly clear during the briefing that managers who didn’t get their shit together and stop their teams from breaking the rules would be for the high-jump and that there wouldn’t be many, if any, second chances on offer! Don’t call me a Loon, I say Pretty Soon - It’ll be High Noon in The Last Chance Saloon!

Now Ash, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to be too discouraged by this possibility as he continues to write, rewrite and re-rewrite his application for an vacancy advertised within QA…Three Days and counting; it’s got to be in by tomorrow matey!!!

Mind you, the vacancy is, as I already mentioned, in the QA department, and seeing as they are going to be “the hit men” (to borrow, if I may, a Mafia expression) as opposed to being “the hitties”, there is, I’ll concede, apparent method in his madness.

On an entirely unrelated note; that’s quite unrelated to the foregoing…is THAT Clear? I was using the Ovi Share facility to acquire a copy of my “hippie” photo to upload as my AudioBoo profile photograph this evening. After this had been done I decided to remain logged into Ovi Share with a view to continuing the sorting and organising of the photographs and videos I’ve got stored there.

I’d not done this for a while and as a result of this long time away I’d forgotten quite how badly Nokia had crippled this facility; everything, it seemed, to have been made extra hard to do! When they first created Share it had been extremely easy to use and very responsive and tweakable. Now, even simple things were difficult; trying to play an album as a straight forward slideshow presented insurmountable difficulties. Each time it was tried the SS would start off at some random point within the album and would then display pictures until, for reasons unknown, it choose to return to the original photo. No matter what I tried I could not get it to play a simple slideshow starting with the first picture in the album and ending with the …you guess!

Come on Nokia you Finny Chaps say you want to rival Google’s cloud services, and given that you’re also abolishing “Nokia Files”, thereby saving yourselves a ton of cloud space in the process, so surely it’s not too much of us (Us =Your Loyal Customers) to ask that you once more make your photo sharing service functional…is it?

Before I forget, tonight was the first time that both Dawn and I have been at work together since I went off on my hip-hop sabbatical last May; mind, having said that, because she was covering EA tonight, we didn’t actually get to do more than exchange a few pleasantries the whole shift. In fact, and much as I hate to agree with CM who predicted this, since we’ve been able to access TV services on the internet most of the team barely speak through out the night!

My how it’s changed from when I first joined the team nearly six years ago. Oh well as always there’s an upside; if everyone was chatting merrily away I’d never find the time, or have the peace and quiet, to write this enthralling blog; if that should happen just think of the effect there would be on the history of World literature…there wouldn’t be any!!! Well it might, a little, if I, or the kids, were suddenly to become famous and the Press began clamouring for information about us all.

I was kind of hoping to make it to the thousand word mark tonight, if for no other reason than to pass the time more quickly and distract myself from these horrible clammy sweats I’m seem to be suffering from, but I find myself with little or nothing I can think of to say let alone write. I think this is going to require a little thought, on my part; there’s still far to far to go to allow me to get away with filling the remaining space with meaningless verbiage about having nothing more to say.

That bolt hole is, I think, firmly closed to me on this beautiful moonlit, struggling for appropriate words, night. Yes sure it works when you’re trying to fill up a paltry thirty or even forty word gap but when that gap, between what you’ve achieved and what it is you want to achieve, is still several hundreds of words long then the task becomes too much for a simple man, of few and limited letters, such as myself. An Orwell or Verne or even a Rev Aubrey would, probably, in fact almost certainly, be up for it but that’s because they were seasoned writers with many, many years of experience under their respective literary belts.

Whereas, me, I’m nothing but an apprentice wordsmith, a mere journeyman, if you will, a dilettante, with, still, less than two years of scribblings under my belt... I mean, even now after the pointless meanderings above I’m still about two hundred words short of my target.

Proof positive, if ever such a thing, as proof positive, were possible (which of course it never will be; because such a thing is impossible under the Poppian theory of knowledge to which this World – at least the rational part of it anyway – subscribes. Poppian theory tells us that falsification is the only proof and that is proof negative, if you will, never proof positive) that I’ve still a great distance to travel if I’m ever to arrive at a position where I can honestly compare myself with such illustrious fellows as these!

One day, perhaps, I’ll have achieved the same, apparently, effortless skills that they use to manipulate and bend the written word to their will but I’m afraid that day appears to be coming none too soon!

I am, I suppose, now at the writer’s equivalent of the marathons runners’ wall; I’ve got to find it within me to keep plodding on when my every fibre is urging me to give up. Keep in there Boy, there’s not far to go now; you know you can make it if you just hang on in there and believe in yourself! You know what? I did keep on hanging in there and I hadn’t even realised that I’d crossed the finishing line a fair few words back! Can I make it to the big 1,300? Now someone who had a pointless point to prove would see if they could continue on to the 1,300 mark but that would be silly because as soon as they reached there the little voice in their head would only whisper to them…”go on you can make it to 1,400, you know you can, go on, go on, I’ve got every confidence in you that you can do this”. But what would be the point of that? None as I’ve already explained…damn, I’ve gone and done it again. I’ve just realised that my explanation as to why it would be pointless to continue has in fact caused me to continue and that if I write just another nine words…1,400!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, 4 September 2010

Well it Started Off Tech But Ended up House. Twenty Million Tweets

Sandy, who was, before two pregnancies’, a member of the other night team and who helped train me when I first started on this shift, is now working in the evenings at the weekend and so joins us when we come in for the start of our shift. She’s a huge iPhone fan and last week we were discussing her 3GS. She’d promised to bring in her Hubby Ian’s iPhone 4 but had forgotten. Anyway once more the conversation shifted to tech, especially mobile tech, and the various companies’ attempts to lock you into their products. Google doesn’t give away mail, docs, maps, calendar etc out of the goodness of it’s heart but rather because if you use all of these services you are far more likely to decide to purchase an Android (the mobile phone platform created by Google) phone that seamlessly integrates all of them automatically for you. For similar reasons Apple operates a policy of locking it’s iPhones into its own private ecosystem and ruthless fights against the jail breakers who strive to free their iPhones from its grip. By doing this it weds iPhone users to the iTunes system and makes it inconvenient to leave. Once a person becomes an iPhone user there are strong incentives to make them remain an iPhone user; changing to an alternative OS (operating system) puts at risk everything they’ve invested in the iTunes Universe.

So the scene seemed set for an evening of techie conversation but then Ash, the home decorator guy, happened and then, like all good plans, mine went straight down the Suwannee without passing Go and without collecting £200. This was because Sandy was not only a tech enthusiast she was also, and to a greater degree, a DIY enthusiast. Well, I was buggered because Ash is an expert at this kind of thing and as soon as Sandy heard him being cross-examined by Julie W she was hooked. As soon as JW had finished giving Ash the kitchen third degree then their conversation began and it’s still going on…hours later. So that’s why I’m sat sitting here, typing this instead of talking tech; oh good they’ve moved on to looking at second homes now!

So I decided to do a little Twittering and low and behold I came across the hash-tag #20million which asks you what you would with the estimated £20 Million that the Popes Sate Visit to the UK is likely to cost. Below, in reverse order, are my Tweets:

1. If I had #20million I'd pay a #Jesuit to bum the #Pope; then he'd have to write an essay explaining why it's better to give than to receive

2. If I had #20million I'd dress up and pretend to be the #Queen and use the money to fund my all #expenses, paid, #statevisit to The #Holy See.

3. If I had #20million I'd sent all priests on a course to learn Cockney; so that then they'd understand why child rape is banging outta order!

4. If I had #20million I'd go on a learn 2 write English correctly and I'd then delete the previous tweet and redraft it but as I ain't I can't

5. If I had #20million I'd buy 20million condoms then I’d put the remaining money into them and prove his holymess wrong - safe sacks does work

6. If I had #20million I'd stop twittering and get a life; plan two, back to the drawing board to see what went wrong with the airborne porcine

7. If I had #20million I’d stop twittering and get a life; plan one, convert Ric Dawkins to Christ and finish engineering the airborne porcine

8. If I had #20million I'd set up a trust 2 pay 4 priests 2 have access 2 professional rent boys hopefully then they’d leave the amateurs alone

9. #biggestliethatworked - If you don't #trust me, a #catholic #priest to look after your #child then in #Gods name what's the World #cum to?

10. #biggestliethatworked – I’d use the #20million 2 screen applicants to ensure that no #priests are #paedophiles, UR's sincerely #Benedict XVI

Bye the Bye, as per usual, they were all exactly 140 characters in length when posted on Twitter. I've since added some punctuation and trimming to in order to aid with clarity.

Sherlock - Yes there's going to be another series...Hooray

Finally I remembered to check out the BBC iPlayer for news on “Sherlock”, which I’d heard had been commissioned for a further series. For anyone unfamiliar with Sherlock it’s was, originally, a one-off series of three TV programmes reworking the adventures of Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson and setting them in modern day London.

The writing was extremely clever and the writers obviously knew, and loved, their Conan Doyle. In the original stories when Holmes was faced with a particularly difficult problem he would classify such a problem in terms of the number of pipes of tobacco he’d have to smoke before reached a solution. In the present day Sherlock no longer smokes so he now has “Three Patch Problems” i.e. problems requiring him to don three nicotine patches to aid him in his deliberations. Sheer genius and all three episodes are littered with these Holmes in-jokes. Anyway, there was nothing about the new series but it did remind me that Dr Watson is supposed to be blogging about his and Sherlock’s adventures. Low and behold the good old BBC has actually created this blog and other sites, such a Holmes’ site “The Science of Deduction” to back up the series.
“Tech”, in fact, features quite heavily throughout the series but is particularly important in the first story; where the story revolves very much around modern mobile technology. I can’t wait for the new series, hopefully more than three episodes this time, and my lady laddie bits tingle in anticipation every time I think about it.

Sunday to Saturday

Nat was rude on Sunday morning, I can’t recall what he said but as I was extremely tired things escalated out of control and before you know it there we were face2face daggers drawn. I was extremely tired and (subsequently) rather drunk so I just couldn’t let it lie. The upshot was, of course, that then Deb and I then fell out over my fall out with Nat; in point of fact, with everyone falling out there was so much fall out (falling out, all about) that the house might well have been at ground zero of an atomic detonation. Anyway, the result of all this falling out was that Nat, Deb and I hardly spoke to one and other until Thursday so, all told, it was a wonderful week and perhaps it is better if we draw a curtain over these events…now! Thursday, the kids returned to school, I don’t recall being made AWARE OF THIS FACT and so this lead to much confusion, on my part, when I couldn’t find them when I woke up. In the end I had to phone Deb, at work, to ask her where they were. Thursday, supposed to be my first night back at work, just got better and better after a nasty cramp and a dash for the loo meant that I discovered that, for the second time in a month, I had a thoroughly unpleasant case of the squits. Thin, runny and a very pleasing (not) fluorescent yellow…such a delight, truly did my cup, and arse, runneth over! Eventually I had to bite the bullet, call the sickness reporting telephone line and describe, in graphic detail, why I wasn’t going into work that evening. I’ve decided to go dry for awhile and give the old “Clumsy Drug” a well deserved rest; I suspect that my increasing consumption, when I was stuck at home convalescing, is probably to blame for these tummy upsets. Bugs and such that I’d normally not even notice are taking advantage of my, no doubt, heightened tummy sensitivity. In addition to the health benefits I might rediscover my patience and easygoing ways (Fat Chance…Bat and Spanner).
I decided that I would be able to make it to work on Friday night. I’d managed to stay in bed, for most of the day, without the squits and, in addition, I’d made good in roads into the backlog of podcasts currently stored on my phone. If I can stay awake for part of the day and keep cycling to work then eventually, hopefully, I’ll be up to date and won’t have 300+ podcasts stored and not yet listened to on my sdhd card.
Talking of podcasts, Hannah would very much like a new iPod for Christmas, a new iPod Touch to be precise and I’d been thinking that as expensive as that would be at least it would free up her Pink iPod Nano for me; yes I am sufficiently secure in my sexuality to be comfortable being seen with a pink pod. After all, I thought, Nat’s now got my old N95 and never even uses his own (Sansa Sandisk) mp3 player anymore so he’ll not want it, while Deb has never ever expressed any interest in owning or even using an mp3 player which leaves, (game, set and match)…Only Me, as Harry Enfield use to say. Oh no, no, no, it would appear that Deb has her greedy little eye on Han’s dinky Nano, which she, this is another first for Deb and technology, describes as rather beautiful. Yes Deborah it is rather beautiful, not at all like the abortion released earlier this week that is the new Nano, but will you actually use it? I know I would, I’d even work out how to reinstall Bonjour on the PC so that I could use iTunes and simplify downloading and storing podcasts and lectures. It would be my very own two box solution, my N82 for everything but audio and the Nano just for that, I’d never need worry about battery usage again! So now the fight is own but how to win it? I know people get very “fanboi” about all things Apple but I imagine that’s still, as yet anyway, not a very successful defence to the charge of murder! I’ll have to come up with an alternative strategy; make it look like an accident perhaps?