Thursday, 31 March 2011

Thursday 31 March 2011

Today I had cooking which was great but what was less great was that we had a supplely teacher miss Isit so the normal teaching assistant and helper of the stander teach (she has a helper because she has had a brain hemeridge). We cooked Swiss Role which was delectable and was great to cook but poor Rumit had to sit out because his religion prevents him from even touching Eggs as a result he just sat and did book work are poor poor  Rumit. After school I had Rugby where we where winning until right at the end they scored twice and won those Bastards but o'well you win some and you loss some.

Wednesday, 30 March 2011

Brockington College, a Shining Report, Well Done Nat, Henry, Quiz Night, Scouts, Work, Calls, Meeting, Twitter

Well who’s a clever boy then? Today we had to visit Brockington College to meet with Nat’s teachers for a report on his progress at school this year. What a fantastic surprise; with the expected exception of his hand writing and rushed presentation his teachers, without exception, had nothing but praise for him. Miss Lewis, his form teacher, was effusive in her praise of him, his attitude to learning and his knowledge. The only criticism she had to make was that he was impatient with others who didn’t have the same level of knowledge as he did. She warmed him that as he progressed thought the education system he would meet cleverer sand cleverer people and wouldn’t always be the brightest in the class. I think she was warning him of the dangers of Hubris.

He was performing at the highest levels in Science, Maths, History, Geography, ICT and English and made a good contribution in all his classes and could be relied on to answer the more difficult questions and to follow and develop arguments.

We bumped into lots of people we’d not seen for a while, Cathy (Jonathon’s Mum), Nicky (Connor’s Mum), Brandon’s Mum and Dad and finally Dave and Maxine (Henry’s parents). Judging by Dave and Maxine’s faces when they were speaking to Miss Lewis (who’s also Henry’s form teacher) they were finally learning a few unpalatable home truths about the apple of the eyes.

Henry can be a right little inconsiderate shit but each of them has always been utterly blind to this and has always, whenever someone has accused him of doing something wrong, uncritically taken his side. It is all well and good supporting your child but the end result is that he’s grown into an amoral little bastard who is virtually friendless. Nat, who’s usually pretty easy going, can’t abide him which of itself says a lot. Maybe this will prove to be a wake-up call…one can only hope so, for Henry’s sake as much as anything.

On a lighter note, we picked up tickets for the school quiz on Saturday and after chatting with the new head, a very nice chap it seemed, were invited, should we wish, to be part of his team. Obviously being a Parent Governor, as Deb is, has its perks!

When we got home Nat and Hannah got changed for scouts, Han is now attending Scouts as well as Cubs as preparation for moving up after next week. Deb drove them there while I remained home getting ready for work. Hope they had a good time; the question is, will Scouts be able to survive Hannah!

Work was incredibly busy, again, between 8-9pm for reasons I still can’t explain. Why are there 70 calls in queue at times when during the rest of the evening one is left waiting for the next call. We had a meeting, supposed to last an hour ran for 90 minutes in part because, as usually we were all left waiting for C to finish a call. She does this every time we have a meeting and there were many moans about her while we waited. The bike4work scheme has been launched again and this may be a good opportunity to get Nat the new bike he so desperately needs!

Spent some (a lot of) time on Twitter tonight and got JDM contributing suggestions for #animalsongs, in fact his first suggestion got retweeted almost immediately the jammy sod! This was Guinea, Guinea, Guinea a Lamb After Midnight #animalsongs Admittedly, I added lamb instead of man but he came up with Guinea.

Here the rest of tonight’s tweets:

We're Living on a Bear #animalsongs

@davejewood Me but taking a break and catching up on back episodes of Waking the Dead on the iPlayer.

@TwatBlock Thanks for the RT's

Two fat ladies...88 On it's Own ...1 ....VAGINA!!! #replacehousewithvagina

I got rid of that big old roomy vigina and got a smaller much more cosy little vigina instead. #replacehousewithvagina

Fucking sub-prime mortages; I've just been kicked out of my vagina! #replacehousewithvagina

I don't care how hard you bang on the door you're not coming in my vagina #replacehousewithvagina

I had to get a huge mortgage to afford this vagina #replacehousewithvagina

I'll Huff and I'll Puff and I'll Blow Down Your Vagina #replacehousewithvagina

Animal Vagina #replacehousewithvagina

Can't Buy Me Dove #animalsongs

Mole Out The Barrel #animalsongs

My Old Man's A Dustmite #animalsongs

Lice is a Minestrone.#animalsongs

It's Still Croc and Mole To Bee #animalsongs

Show Me The Way To Armdillo #animalsongs

Croc Around The Cock #animalsongs

@davejewood Thanks for the RT

Guinea, Guinea, Guinea a Lamb After Midnight #animalsongs

"Gnu York, Gnu York (So Good They Named It Lice)" #animalsongs

Gnu York In The Bark #animalsongs

Gnu York is a Wombat #animalsongs

Gnu York City Beaver #animalsongs

Gnu York City Gull #animalsongs

Tiger a Yellow Gibbon Round The Old Oak Flea. #animalsongs

Monkey's Too Tight (To Mention)" #animalsongs

Monkey For Nothing #animalsongs

Homeward Hound #animalsongs

Tie a Yellow Gibbon round the ole oak tree. #animalsongs

The Boxer #animalsongs

Love Me Moo #animalsongs

Rock Around The Cock #animalsongs

RT @scott_hurst: If all atheists left the USA it would lose 93% of the National Academy of Sciences but less than 1% of the prison population

MT @Darnack71: New craze: stick vodka-soaked tampon into your vagina or asshole to get wasted quickly. / Lends new meaning to string theory.

Herman’s Hernias #rubbishmusicians

The Sock Pistols #rubbishmusicians

Kink Floyd #rubbishmusicians

Manfred Womann #rubbishmusicians

Engelbert Humpsyoursink #rubbishmusicians

Cindy Slaughter #rubbishmusicians

Dave Dee Dozy Beaky Mick and Tarquin #rubbishmusicians

#rubbishmusicians Mad Donna

Tuesday, 29 March 2011


As a father who insists that his Son write a blog post everyday (where are they Nat) I've been very remiss witrh mine since before Xmas. I've been writing notes in Word but I haven't been as consistant as I was last year and this must stop. I discovered I enjoyed writing but I'm risking ending up like my dad who discovered he liked reading only to stop before the habit developed and ended up going back to the way he was before. The problem is that I have so little to write about as I do virtually nothing. I'm either at work or during my four days off at home on the PC drinking beer. I rearly ever seem to leave the house these days. In part that's due to a lack of funds and in part habit. As the problems with my hips developed, this was before I knew there was a problem, the pain gradually made more and more immobile. Coupled with this is the fact that I have no friends to do anything with. I'm not as sad as that sounds it's just that we've lost contact with many of the people we used to know and I've not really replaced these with new people. Again lack of funds, lack of mobility and the strange, but deeply held belief, that noone would want to be my friend anyway (I think this is a reflection of the shit time I had at school when people basically made me feel worthless which in combination with my parents disappointment made me feel that not only was I unlovaable I wasn't even likeable - I still wonder what the hell Deb ever saw in me and these days I imagine, these days, so does she...great I not only feel guilty about wasting my life I also feel guilty about wasting hers...see what I mean about self-esteem). It's probably why I think I'm unconsiously pushing the kids away, get it over with before they do it to me. Hannah obviously hates me and has never ever wanted to do anything with me and as for Nat he's becoming totally involved with his friends and soon will have even less time for me than he has now. Basically he dissappears upstairs with his mates or alone with his X-box and we don't see him again. On the upside it was great when they were little I'm just so pissed off it was partially spoilt by my depression over the loss of Katie and then a few years later the pain caused by my bad hips made me short tempered and angry all the time. Yeah I know I let them down and don't deserve their love anyway...self-esteem I have none.

Thursday, 24 March 2011

Thursday 24 March 2011

Today I had Rugby after school and as always it was good fun we played small 5 v 3 games but if the ball is drooped or the ball carrier gets tackled or a try is scored then the attackers turn round and attack the other team of 3 so that the team of 5 is always going and attacking but the teams of 3 get a break after their go. so it did end up fair I scored a cupel of try's and I also found out that we are playing a game next week on Thursday.

Qik - Test mobile app by mysickbones

Qik - Testing Qik by mysickbones

Wednesday, 23 March 2011

Photographing The Pack Horse Bridge Leicester Grand Union Canal, Digital Planet Becomes Click, Nat's Brilliant School Report, OMG C's In Charge, #Pornsitcoms, #Horrorsitcoms, #Falserumours, Silly Photos.

Left work bang on time this morning due to the fact that I was on Manuals last night. Trained up the new boy Abdul (who is a really nice guy) and we were done pretty much by 1:00 AM after which it was just a matter of keeping on top of the new jobs and inputting them.
It was another gorgeous Spring morning and again on my way home I stopped to take a few more photos of the Grand Union Canal. These photos were of the view looking toward Kings Lock Bridge from the Pack Horse Bridge, the view looking back toward town from the same location and the Pack Horse Bridge itself.
Toward Kings Lock
(where the Lock Keepers Cottage has been turned into a fabulous little tea room run by the nicest couple you could wish to meet) from Pack Horse Bridge22032011559
Back toward Leicester City from Pack Horse Bridge
Pack Horse Bridge continues on to cross the River Soar.

It’s on mornings like these that I realize just how lucky I am to live so close to such a beautiful place. Not everyone might find it beautiful but for some reason I adore canals and I make no apology for this.

Arrived home to both kids, Nat had finished his paper round fairly quickly this morning and my dallying photography meant that he beat me home. I’m rather happy about that as I’m always concerned for his safety when he’s not home before me. Hannah was her usual cheerful self, yes I’m being sarcastic, and when I accidently caused her to spill milk on her trousers, by pretending I was going to fart in her general direction (acknowledgement to Monty Python freely given) she was, yet again, immediately reduced to floods of tears. NB Deb informed me that Hannah’s missed coat had been found at Cubs but if her missing phone (the one she got for her birthday in Dec) had been in one of the pockets it had gone so Hannah no longer has a mobile phone (update - days later we found it at home). No, I didn’t shout at her; I only tend to shout at her when she’s rude not really for anything else because you know kids are going to break and lose things. It’s part of being a kid; the good ones grow out of it and those that don’t generally end up on the Jeremy Kyle Show!

I spent much of the morning on the PC uploading the various photos and videos stored on my Nokia N8 with a view to accessing them at work and commencing the huge task of getting this blog up to date (it’s currently 04:07 the next day and this is precisely what I’m engaged in doing – in between answering calls of course!)

Eventually I decided enough was enough and finally headed off to bed at about 1:00PM. I had spent some time on Twitter and one of the things I discovered was that the Digital Planet podcast was being renamed to Click in order to co-ordinate it with it’s sister programme Click which is aired on the BBC News Channel. To his was later confirmed as I listened to that podcast on the ride to work. From Go Digital – Digital Planet – Click…proof of evolution if it were ever needed!

When I got up I discovered that Nat had brought home his school report and all in all it made pretty good reading. It was certainly far superior to any report I ever received. All mine ever said was “must try harder and his writing is fucking appalling”. Yes its true teachers were allowed to say things like that when I was a boy…Not!

Time for work, left home a little late and was somewhat sweaty when I arrived; no JDM, he’d been in in-day for a training course and was taking the night off but, shock horror, neither was there any sigh of the Hasmukhster (due back from the sub continent this very day). We didn’t have a manager…did they ask me to step in and fill the void? Did they fuck, no they asked C who hasn’t done it since Dec 2008 but proved she hadn’t forgotten what to do by doing fuck all. Lost count of the number of times she went out for a cigarette break. Thank the one true non-existent God that JDM is back tonight and let us hope the Hasmukhster is back too as JDM’s off again the next night.

Did a bit of Twittering, actually quiet a lot two great hashtags tonight - #pornsitcomns, #horrorsitcoms and #falserumours, between calls then settled down to start catching up on this blog. Here are a few of the sillier ones:

Re Elton John – apparently the same was also true of Wladziu Valentino Liberace. #falserumor

Elton John pretends to be Gay in order to protect himself from sexual harassment suits arising from his huge heterosexual libido #falserumor

Ricketts is caused by Ricky Martin. #falserumor

The more highly educated you are the more likely it is that you will believe that God is actually real!!! #falserumor #atheist #atheism #god

Nuclear Spokesperson says reactors survived Quake+Tsunami. The Meltdown crisis caused by plant workers lighting their farts. #falserumor

No Fly Zone Certain to Resolve Libyan Situation. #falserumor

Research indicates that Obama has honoured 100% of pre-election promises! #falserumor

George Bush's IQ Qualifies Him For MENSA Membership! #falserumor

The Barry Humps You Show #pornsitcoms

Beyond The Fringe: A Guide to Head Stabbing #horrorsitcoms

The All-New Alexei Slay Show #horrorsitcoms

Ali G In Da Grip of a Killing Frenzy #horrorsitcoms

Adrian Mole: The Serial Killing Years #horrorsitcoms

A Bucket O' Body Bits of French And Saunders #horrorsitcoms

A Bit Of Fried Laurie #horrorsitcoms

Russell Howard's Good Screws #pornsitcoms

Only Drools and Corpses #horrorsitcoms

It Ain't Half Hot, Down Here In Hell, Mum #horrorsitcoms

The Likely to Kill You Lads #horrorsitcoms

To The Manor Re-Born #horrorsitcoms

Deadmen Behaving Badly #horrorsitcoms

Last of the Summer Crime #horrorsitcoms

The Good After-Life #horrorsitcoms

The Vicar of Deadly #horrorsitcoms

Goodness Gracious Zombie #horrorsitcoms

Demonds #horrorsitcoms

Dad's Barmy #horrorsitcoms

Everybody Loves Rapemond #horrorsitcoms

Everybody Hates Christians #horrorsitcoms #atheist #atheism

Beadles Zombie's About #horrorsitcoms

A Deadly Little (Doctor Who) Christmas Special #horrorsitcoms

Everyone Loves Rayguns #horrorsitcoms

I Spit on Your One Foot in The Grave #horrorsitcoms

Dahmer Vs. Greg #horrorsitcoms

Nightmare on Coronation Street. #horrorsitcoms

Everyone Loves Fucking Raymond. #pornsitcoms

Debbie Does Dogfood Dan And The Carmarthen Cowboy #pornsitcoms

Cunt Arthur Strong's Radio Show! #pornsitcoms

Cilla's World Of Cumedy #pornsitcoms

The Beiderbecke Rapes #pornsitcoms

Billy Punter Of Gayfriars School #pornsitcoms

Baddiel's Sin Dome #pornsitcoms

Are You Being Serviced #pornsitcoms

The Artful Todger #pornsitcoms

The Liver Slags #pornsitcoms

A Bit of a Poo #pornsitcoms

Father Ted Fucks Boys #pornsitcoms

@little_burp Everyone Loves Gaymond? #pornsitcoms

New Pricks #pornsitcoms

The Young Bums #pornsitcoms

Emma Male? #pornsitcoms

The Simpsporns #pornsitcoms

Family Gay #pornsitcoms

Dead Dwarf (an acquired taste) #pornsitcoms

Gok's Fucking Fix #pornsitcoms

Sex in the Clitty #pornsitcoms

Only Tools and Corsets #pornsitcoms

Coach Strip #pornsitcoms

How Clean is Your Mouth and Come Dine On Me #pornsitcoms

Backjabber #pornsitcoms

So unless something major happens between now and 7:00 AM I think that’ll do it for tonight I thinks Peeps.
Here’re a few more silly photos…no particular reason I just like doing that kind of thing (attribution: Luther of the Rouges…The Warriors cert 18 1976)


Yeah, Fucking Hilarious
You Can Tell, I've Always Wanted a Fucking Hat.
Now Who’s Got the Fucking Number for Dog-Line?


Due to an unfortunate Typo:
The Allies establish a No-Fly Zone over
Gadaffi the Labrador
Instead of Gadaffi's Libya!
I'm Telling You:
He's Not Gay!!!

Sunday, 20 March 2011

Sunday 20 March 2011

Today I played rugby for the Vipers and we had a game against Melton Mowbery. It was the first time in several weeks that Neil and Ben came Ben to play and Neil to coach. They won the game and we lost but it was 15 of us vs 15 and the ref the ref was the most biased one sided shifty cheating rude wanka you will every meat he never penalised them and always penalised us one example of this is that one of there team scrag tackled one of our team and even though the touch Judge Duncan as well as there team and they all said it was a scrag tackle he did nothing to there team no penalty or even a scrum:(

Friday, 18 March 2011

Friday 18 march 2011 or red nose day

Today was non school uniform at school because it was red nose day I also wore a red wig of awesomeness I wore it for the whole day not taking it of during lessons or between lessons or at lunch or at break or before school or after school or at breakfast club or o the bus or even at chess club or even at the staff pantomime.
The staff pantomime was relay good it was Snow white and the seven dwarfs it was brilliant with Gok as the magic mirror and a member of the pastoral office as grumpy the dwarf. it was an amazing day it quite sad my next red nose day will be at Luterworth. 

Comic Relief Day 2011 - Interviewing Pirate Hannah and Sundry Photos

Today is   COMIC RELIEF DAY      here in the UK and the kids are dressing appropriately for school. In this case that means that Nat's got a Red Wig and Nose whereas Hannah has gone the whole hog and is going as a pirate. Before she left I interviewed her and the video of that interview can be seen below. As a pirate and a Pastafarian (a believer in the divinity of the Flying Spaghetti Monster) who has been touched by his Noodly Appendage I also asked her about Global Warming and what she intended to do about it. At one point we were interrupted by Pirate Dog Monty!

Tuesday, 15 March 2011

Tuesday 15 march 2011

Today I had house rugby and as always I was the best (and I am so modest as well) we played 3 games one against Tudor where we beat them 5 to 0 then we played Plantagenet who we beat 4-0 then we played Stuart who we drew with 3-3 so we drew the competition with Stuart which means we have won this year and we also won last year so if we win next year we win the grand slam. As well as this we also got to miss French and Fitness so even if we had lost we still would have gained by playing:) so it was a great day.

AudioBoo 4 Voice Map - Abertysswg South Wales 1956 Male

Sunday, 13 March 2011

Nat was Robber and so were The Vipers

The Vipers lost their game this am by 9 points but Nat scored two tries, both of which were disallowed, which would have won the game for them. The first wasn't seen by the ref, well done Duncan, and the second was judged, by the ref, yes you again Dunky boy, not to have been grounded, ie the other side held him up and prevented the ball making contact with the ground whilst in his hands.

Saturday, 12 March 2011

How long should someone be upset after an argument - to me once you've said your piece that should be it I can't see the point of dragging it out.

It seems to me that Meyrick and I aren't putting up a united front maybe I am too soft on them but Meyrick always goes in all guns blazing and I have a more softly softly approach and thats not because my parents were strict with me far from it I had a great childhood full of love and laughter, I can honestly say I never remember my parents having an argument until I was about 12 - if I did something wrong we talked about it.  Maybe the difference is that I was on only child and life for a lone child is so different to one with siblings - constant fighting and attention seeking.

Talking is something that this house seems to lack, the kids are always shouting, one trying to outdo the other, me shouting at them and Meyrick shouting at me and the kids.  Thats when he's talking to us - he will never discuss any issue - if I do push him to talk I feel that I get shouted down or talked to as if I'm an idiot who doesn't know what they're talking about and has opinions that are worthless.

I often wonder if I carried on driving and didn't go home would anyone really notice, god I feel like a hamster on wheel - sleep, chasing kids, work dealing with £$%&@*, running after kids, feeding family, cleaning up after family, sleep, chasing kids etc etc etc -  is there no end to it....

Meyrick has such high aspirations for the kids - I know he wants them to succeed where he feels we have failed - yet I have the same hopes for them, but I primarily want them to be happy with their lives what ever they end up doing.

Thursday, 10 March 2011

Thursday 10 march 2011

Today I had rugby after school which was great well it would be rugby is always great fun great great fun lots of fun tackling people and scoring 2 trys in a game and scoring the game wining try we did not have a proper game just a game at the end of training. Later on when I got home nothing happened except that I have watched all the yogcast videos up to the most recent one.

Yet Another Fucking Argument.

Yet another fantastic morning here. Once again a simple request, asking the kids to wash (run under cold water) their cereal bowls in order to prevent everything hardening on, descends into a full blown row because as always Deborah can't keep her mouth shut and her big fucking nose out.. It's no wonder I find myself constantly shouting; whenever I ask the kids, in a reasonable way, to do or to stop doing something she always jumps in and/or they immediately lapse into default excuse mode (witness Nat this AM as a perfect example - I hadn't even finished what I was trying to say). They then, of course, feel totally justified in taking absolutely no notice of anything I've said and free to keep behaving as I've asked them not to.
I really don't know if I can continue to live like this. Is it any wonder I smoke and drink too much and can't find the motivation to stop. Why the fuck should I bother; obviously the sooner I'm dead the happier everyone will be. On the Up-Side at least I'll be spared the sight of the kids repeating our failures, in a much, much nastier world, simply because Deb doesn't want to be as strict on them as she obviously feels her mother was on her. In other words all their multiple talents will be pissed away and wasted and their lives will amount to nothing just so she doesn't have to feel guilty about instilling and enforcing a sense of self-discipline within them.
Well Dear I'm afraid you are just deferring that guilt and when the consequences of your actions finally come home to roust the damage will be irreversible and the guilt will be overwhelming and unassailable. It'll be like Hannah finally deciding, when she's 20, that she wants to know as much as Nat does; it will be 23 years too late; the opportunity will be gone and it will never ever again be available to her or her kids! I should know; after all that's exactly the reason why my life is such a fucked up failure and my mind is permanently filled with a feeling of "what if" and "if only".
I though mothers were supposedly the practical ones - "the hand that rocks the cradle" and all that but obviously not. When it comes to facing up to the future world they are probably going to face Deborah performs the ultimate ostrich impression - refusing, under any circumstances, to take her head out of the sand.
Well looking on the bright side, with any fucking luck I'll be dead by then and unable to see the results and say I told you so.

Tuesday, 8 March 2011

Tuesday 8 February 2011

Today was Pancake day and I had pancakes for breakfast lunch and dinner well it was pancake day I love pancakes YUM YUM YUM I love pancakes delicious tasty lovely pancakes scrummie pancakes nice ( that's not a very good word really) I like pancakes they are nice and tasty and not not nice so they are lovely and delicious. I don't just like pancakes though I also love the filling you put in pancakes syrup, maple syrup, sugar, lemon juice, chocolate spread and in Hannah's case whipped cream.

Trying Out Blogging on Opera Mobile

Well so far so go I've written this in just a few seconds and so far as I can see so far thee ares no roots but saying that I haven't proof read it yet. I'm not so sure any longer I'm beginning too see why people are a little sceptical about the Nokia input system where you can't see your total text.

Testing Times!!!

testing can boos can be recorded using headset

Monday, 7 March 2011

Saturday 5 March 2011

Today I went to the RAF museum in Hendon with the cubs and scouts but not so much the scouts just the cubs I only got invited because Hannah was going with both my parents. The day did not start of very well though because the car would not start and the coach had to stop at the end of the road and pick us up. When we got to the museum we went into the main hanger and dropped our bags of in a privet room and left with the sheats we had to fill in to get the badge that this trip was for. First we looked at helicopters and flying boats and biplanes then I saw a spitfire and filled in part of my work sheat then we saw the bombers the Lancaster is massive!!! then I found the second type of spitfire and filled the sheat in after this we looked at the jets which where also massive (planes are a lot bigger in real life). later I went on the simulator with Hannah which was great fun and awesome we then went to the battle of Britten Hanger and I found out the specifications for the third and final spitfire. I then looked around one of the WW2 sub hunting planes you could actually walk through it would have paid to be small if you worked on one of those planes!!!! I then went back to the bomber hanger with mum to comparer the Lancaster and he flying fortress all part of my badge and in my opinion the Lancaster is better and that is not just because British! Just before we left we went to the cafe and I had a brownie and a hot chocolate delicious :) I was then awarded my badge and we went home.        

will audioboo record what My phone is playing

Saturday, 5 March 2011

RAF Museum Hendon with Cubs and Scouts...PHOTOS TO ADD

Today we were supposed to be going on a visit to the RAF museum in Hendon, which is part of Greater London, with the Cubs and Scouts but it seemed as if our plans would be scuppered before we even left the house when the car failed to start, but made up for this by making a most peculiar noise when it tried. Once more, it seemed, the unreliable electrical system had chosen to mess with us at the most inconvenient of times!

As luck would have it, good for a change,

1. Deb had her phone with her (Unflipping Believable)

2. It was charged (will miracles never cease) and, finally, what is more

3. She had, an up to date, contact number for one of the trip organizers.

Well, by the time I’d regained consciousness, she’d called said contact, explained our situation and arranged for the coach to stop nearby and pick us up as it headed for the motorway.

So, after a brief wait, we were on our way to “The Smoke” or at least to its outskirts. Nat sat with me and Han sat with Deb. Determined to ensure that conversation continued to be a dying art Nat immediately plugged his head phones in to my old Nokia N95 and started listening to episode two of Hardcore History’s Punic Nightmare. Following suit, I too, plugged in my phones and settled back to enjoy a little podcast pleasure.

We had, it seemed, a rather talkative driver on this trip who regaled us with snippets of information about the various places we were passing on our journey; for some reason Deb found this quite odd and remarked the next day that she imagined he would be an extremely boring person to talk to. I, on the other hand, thought he was quite interesting and kept removing my headphones to hear what he had to say. This was why I eventually stopped listening to podcasts and switched to music instead. Oh the joy of rediscovering just how good 10CC were (a 1970’s band I loved as a teenager and who, having reformed, are performing in Birmingham next week). Eventually reaching our destination ( we disembarked and were briefed on what we would be doing that day. Each Cub and each Scout was given a questionnaire that they were required complete in order to win their (RAF Museum Visit!!!???) badge. They would only be able to do so if they toured the whole museum and searched carefully for the answers that were hidden there.

It most certainly was an impressive place, I’ve no idea exactly how many planes were on display (I didn’t have to earn a RAFMV badge did I but here’s a link to the list the museum website gives but I can certainly confirm there were a bloody great lot of them. You can’t really appreciate the size of these old flyers when you see them on film, it’s only when you’re standing next to a, for example, WW2 USAF Mustang, that you grasp just how big the dang thing is! The visible part of the engine is bigger than our whole car and it’s easy to see why inadvertently walking into a spinning turboprop would totally ruin your day! Even the old biplanes, which for some reason I’d always imagined as being tiny, were much, much larger than expected. I think it may be because we equate fragility with daintiness and we’ve all grown up with an image in our minds of these early fighters as fragile creations of wood paper and wire that fell apart under the slightest stress. Believe me, there’s nothing dainty about these mothers! Below are is a large selection of photos which I think prove my point. (INSERT PHOTOS).

After we’d toured the first hall and Han and Nat had ridden in one of the simulators we crossed over to another building which was dedicated to the history of British Aviation during WW2 and particularly to the story of The Battle of Britain.

One of the most impressive exhibits was a full size flying boat that one could actually enter and walk through from front to back. We’d thought that now we’d seen everything but subsequently looking at the museum website I think we may have missed a few exhibits although I’m not quite sure how we managed to do that.

We returned via the shop where we bought a few souvenirs including two of the legendry Biggles books which are once more back in print. The collected boxed set was priced, outrageously, at £39.99 and that was with £10 off!

We decided to take another look at the battle of Britain exhibition but in the end we ended up in the restaurant where we paid £13 for a few drinks and a couple of cakes! Appropriately, I had a bottle of Shepherd Neame brewery Spitfire Ale and very nice it was. Finally it was 4 O’clock and we headed back to the coach for the return journey.

The kind driver once more dropped as near home and our day out was over.

Deb contacted the RAC Re: the car but after they advised that they were exceptionally busy agreed that there was no urgent need for the car that night and we’d be able to wait until the following morning. Because Nat had to play in a rugby match the next morning Deb phoned Jacob’s Dad Bruce who agreed that he would pick Nat up and also take him, along with Jacob and Zak and Zak’s Dad Chris, to the match.

There’s nothing more really to say about the day but as I’ve not yet reached a thousand words I’m going to have to procrastinate a little here just to reach that magical but also, paradoxically, totally arbitrary, figure. Now, normally, at this point I’d just make up some total bull to fill up the space but I’m beginning to feel that this is something of a cheat so instead I’ll use the time to instead tell you this. What a literary device that proved to be, taking up space by writing about why I didn’t just want to just take up space with pointless waffle. Same end achieved but I come out looking (seemingly) noble instead of venal.

Tuesday, 1 March 2011

Thursday 24 February 2011

Today I went to see Narnia the voyage of the dawn treder with Jacob and Zak it was a very good film not only was there killing and maiming and burning and dieing and destructioning and pillaging and dragoning and sailing and other good things but it was only £1 to get in (here is a tip go to kids AM). we also took sweets and drinks and got some stuff from a news agent so that we weren't to hungry during the film. so over all today was good.