De'ja' Vu - Tummy Bug, Poopy Pants and Finally A Unified Field Theory.

I refer you, dearest reader, to my entry of the previous inst. With no loss of vigour my thundering, chundering and grumbling tummy continued unabated, more and more poopy pants were birthed with each and every cough, weeze and sneeze and the Himalayan like mountain of dirty laundry continued its rapid journey heavenward.

It was during a particularly vicious sneeze and follow through that I first formulate my unified field theory describing, in the simplest terms, everything contained within the macro cosmic all; from the smallest to the largest, from the briefest to the virtually everlasting, from the darkest of dark matter to the brightest of supernovae. However, as simple as this theory is and as astonished as you would be to discover the secret of the origin of the Universe, I won’t bore you with it here. We’ll leave that for another day; astonishing you that is. Mind you, no matter how wondrous the revelation, if you’re like my daughter, if it doesn’t wear lipstick you’ll think it’s intrinsically boring regardless.

Tummy Bug, Poopy Pants, Money Money Money, Onederful.

I’d had an upset stomach all weekend and couldn’t stop farting and going to the loo. Things only got worse as each day passed and by Wednesday I was shitting myself whenever I coughed or sneezed and felt as if I was going to throw up at any moment.


I continued to experience these symptoms for the remained of the week and had to take Wednesday and Thursday as sick leave. The horrible thing is that I’m not sure that I had the full blown vomit bug that’s doing the rounds and clearing schools and work places. If I haven’t then I remain as at risk as anyone else of doing so! If that happens I’m afraid it’ll be nappies (diapers if you’re an American reader) to work as I can’t afford to take anymore time off.

I think the very best thing about winning a huge amount of money, on the lottery or some other way, would not be the facility to spend enormous sums of money but rather the sense of relief that would accompany the resultant freedom; especially freedom from obligations imposed upon one because of the necessity of remaining in employment! One might choose to continue to work but one would not be obliged to. If one felt like taking a day off there would be nothing and no one to stop one; additionally it would allow one to describe oneself as one in one’s writings as one has just done…and of course, that’s just Onederful!!!

Tummy Bug, Poopy Pants, Money Money Money, Onederful

I’d had an upset stomach all weekend and couldn’t stop farting and going to the loo. Things only got worse as each day passed and by Wednesday I was shitting myself whenever I coughed or sneezed and felt as if I was going to throw up at any moment.


I continued to experience these symptoms for the remained of the week and had to take Wednesday and Thursday as sick leave. The horrible thing is that I’m not sure that I had the full blown vomit bug that’s doing the rounds and clearing schools and work places. If I haven’t then I remain as at risk as anyone else of doing so! If that happens I’m afraid it’ll be nappies (diapers if you’re an American reader) to work as I can’t afford to take anymore time off.

I think the very best thing about winning a huge amount of money, on the lottery or some other way, would not be the facility to spend enormous sums of money but rather the sense of relief that would accompany the resultant freedom; especially freedom from obligations imposed upon one because of the necessity of remaining in employment! One might choose to continue to work but one would not be obliged to. If one felt like taking a day off there would be nothing and no one to stop one; additionally it would allow one to describe oneself as one in one’s writings as one has just done…and of course, that’s just Onederful!!!