THURSDAY 21/10 The Lizard, Mullion, Holiday Camp, Royal Naval Air Station Culdrose or HMS Seahawk, Toffe Apples, Rattler, Portreath, Fish and Chips, Quiz, Lolly Pops

This morning we’re off to see a few of the places we visited the last time we were down this way. Specifically, we’re visiting the Lizard the most southerly point on the mainland of Britain. It’s a spectacular place with incredible views as can be seen from the embedded pictures below. The lighthouse museum was unfortunately closed but we did get to take a stroll round the grounds of the Youth Hostel located next to it.


After leaving the Lizard we stopped at the cafe / base shop located next to Royal Naval Air Station Culdrose or HMS Seahawk as it’s also known. While we were there we discovered that there was a coach trip around the base that afternoon so we bought tickets for it. The trip wasn’t due to begin until 2PM so we had a little time to kill. We had stayed at Mullion Holiday camp the last time we were here and as this wasn’t far we decided to drop in there to see if Hannah and Nat remembered it. Our visit was a quick in and out (but with Gusto, me old Droog mates, with Gusto), Deb stayed in the car the lazy cow, and yes even Hannah remembered coming here. I say even Hannah because when ever you reminder her of something she’s done in the past she gives you blank look combined with another look that suggests that you are deluded and that she’ never been to any such place. There wasn’t time to drive down to Mullion village itself which was a shame as I remember the harbour and beach as being particularly lovely.

On our way back to Culdrose we stopped at a small cafe where Hannah had sausage and chips (absolutely delicious locally produced sausages) Deb and Nat each had a cream tea and I had a pint of Rattler cyder (yes that’s how they spell cider).





We were finished and back at Culdrose just in time; a few minutes after we arrived we were allowed to pass the armed guards (they had real guns!) and enter the base and board the coach. The tip was “awesome” some might say but with typical British understatement I’d simple describe it as “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious”.



We saw some amazing sites and the photos and videos, taken through the coach windows, don’t really them justice. Jets, helicopters, and turboprops the list just goes on. We must have seen a dozen or more take-offs and landings whilst we were there.

We disembarked twice, once to visit the tiny base cinema to watch two films, one about the Royal Navy in general and the other specifically about Culdrose. Here we also saw some of the classrooms where Royal Navy and overseas trainees lean how to service and maintain the fleet of aircraft based there. Our second port of call was at a maintenance hanger to view a stripped down SeaKing helicopter, the model that had just been phased out and replaced by the Merlin. The tour, which seemed to fly by, actually lasted the best part of two hours and was worth every penny we spent to go on it. The guide was so enthusiastic and such a supporter of the base and its role in local life. She was the lady we’d first spoken to earlier in the cafe who persuaded us to book the trip in the first place. If you’re ever in the area and get the opportunity to do this trip then jump at the chance, you won’t regret it.

By now it was late afternoon and we started back toward Clowdance Estate; on the way we stopped at Sainsburys where I bough some beer, provisions, toffee apples or the kids but no Rattler Pear Cyder. I only mention Pear Rattler here because Sainsbury’s price was the lowest we’d seen (£1.95 compared to £2.50 elsewhere) and so instead of buying a load at the cyder farm we intended to buy it, and ordinary Rattler, from here...we forgot so I came home with only the two bottles of pear and two of beery we bought at the cyder farm and no bottles of normal Rattler, None, Zilch, Sod All...Bugger!

After this we drove into Portreath, where the kids had soaked themselves the previous Sunday, and bought Fish and Chips from the chip shop on the seafront. Given the price we paid for these I was very disappointed in the size of the portions. When we had finished we completed the drive back to Clowdance Estate and had a few hours rest.

Later we sent an hour or so in he pool and sauna before attending the quiz night being held in the bar at 9:00 PM. Teams were supposed to be limited to four people but a couple of tables were obviously collaborating and effectively fielding a team of eight. Our team consisted of the four of us and while we didn’t win a single individual round we did come within three points of the best overall total score! Not bad for just two adults and two kids and, in fact, if we hadn’t changed three of my answers we would have actually tied for first place with forty eight points each. However I mustn’t forget to mention that despite the fact that our team didn’t win anything that both Nat and Hannah did manage to each, individually, win a lolly pop. Hannah won hers for shouting out the correct answer to the first question of the night and Nat for the stupidest team name. We were, officially the Clotted Dreams but according to Nat we were AKA. . . The

Afterward we left and returned to our rooms and sleep...night all! At this point if I were writing my normal blog I’d note tat I was only a few words short of a thousand words and then waffle on until I passed that milestone but there’s now no need for me to do so or at least there won’t be any need after a few words more.

Sunday, Introduction, Hayle, Pasties, Birds, Hell's Mouth, Portreath, Soaking Kids, Swimming, Comedian, Rattler Cyder

We woke refreshed, bright eyed and bushy tailed and ready to take on anything this strange isolated backwater (yeah, backwater, I believe Cornwall is the UK’s second biggest tourist destination after the Lake District) had to throw at us…why am I making this sound more like a fight than a holiday? Because I can…why, do you want make something of it reader, you looking at my funny mate?


We headed off to main reception; no I don’t know why I didn’t get any photos of this area either. The main restaurant was situated upstairs overlooking the pool and we grabbed a table, and some free pastries, at the back of the room and waited for things to get started. Deb got chatting to a lady from Ebba Vale, in Wales, who’d heard my Welsh accent and who had used this as an excuse to strike up a conversation with her until a shortly while later the resident comedian, a chap named Paul MaGahan who was to be that night’s “turn”, gave an amusing and rather useful talk about the area and the various attractions. His advice, especially about where and where not to drive to, was to prove very useful during the coming days.

With the intro talk over we decided to explore the surrounding area but without plans to go anywhere in particular. Deb was concerned that now it was out of season many places would be closed on a Sunday and so today would be about driving around and getting a feel for the place. First we headed for Hayle, which is, or so it claims, the “Pastie Capital” of Cornwall, boasting no less than SIX separate Cornish Pastie Shops.

Being the discerning consumers we are we, of course, stopped a the very first one we came across which turned out to be “Philps Pasty Bakery, East Quay”.

For a Sunday morning this little shop was amazingly busy and eventually after a few minutes queueing we acquired some “medium” pasties for Nat, Deb and Me and a couple of sausage rolls for Hannah who had, as usual (because they had meat in them), already decided she didn’t like pasties. I’m sad to say that, as big as these pasties were, I found them to be rather disappointing; they appeared to be comprised of a mass of, slightly undercooked, shredded potato which hid the occasional seam of beef. Anyway, enough of my culinary complaints, we seated ourselves over looking Quay to eat and were soon surrounded by birds of all kinds (mainly huge gulls and hooded crows). Utterly unafraid of people these pesky scavengers scurried around our feet pecking at dropped pastry crumbs. When we actually threw down small pieces for them we were then entertained by an impromptu display of Darwin’s theory of the “survival of the fittest” as the birds competed over these scraps.

Pasties finally consumed we once again set off to explore. We eventually found ourselves at Hell’s Mouth which is a dramatic cliff formation next to the road between Portreath Bay and Gwithian Beach in north Cornwall. The land is owned and managed by the National Trust and Hells Mouth lies on the Southwest Coast Path. Nearby is a car park and cafe. The views from here along the North Cornish coastline were fantastic. Hells Mouth lies on a popular 3.7 mile coastal walk which stretches from Godrevy Navax Point at one end to Basset's Cove at the other. Below I’ve embedded the photographs we took of this spectacular location.



We parked next to the café and walked up to the cliffs. Even here, with an unimpeded view over the Celtic Sea we were still unable to get a GPS fix on either my phone or Nat’s. I think the local “Cyder Witches” are interfering with the signals…spooky! Afterwards the kids each had an ice-cream whilst I admired the sovereign ring knuckledusters being worn by one of the local bikers who was parked there. There seem to be an amazing number of bikers in Cornwall! Back in the car we continued to explore until we ended up in Portreath. We parked up, there was another large group of bikers in the car park, and went down onto the beach. The kids decided they’d like to paddle in the sea and as you’ll see from the photos below they both ended up completely soaked. Lacking a change of clothing, you don’t anticipate the need in October; we got them stripped down and into the car. Nat wasn’t happy disrobing in public but he wasn’t getting into the car otherwise. In the end the car door and a strategically held coat protected his modesty. Hannah’s still young enough not to be too bothered.


It was late afternoon before we got back to Clowance; we’d stopped off at Morrison’s to buy some beer (a vain hope as it seems that they don’t stock cheap beer or cider the swine’s). By the time the kids had changed it was too late to go wandering again so we settled in for the day. A little later we all went for a swim and I had a sauna, no kids allowed. Afterward Nat and I decided we’d go to the bar to see if the comedian was funny than he’d been that morning. Deb and Hannah decide not to come with us. The chap was fairly amusing but the biggest surprise was his voice. He had a very powerful voice and could mimic songs excellently. When he did a cover version of a popular hit it sounded just like the original version. Why don’t people like him ever appear on show like the X-Factor? A very pleasant discover, although that can’t be said for the price, was Rattler (a draft local cider) which was very nice indeed. Even Nat, who professes that he’s not going to drink when he’s bigger, had a sip and expressed his approved. Rattler is made by Healey’s and it was their Cyder Farm that we visited later in the week. I nearly won a drink from the comedian when the bar staff told me the answer to a question he’d set the audience when I was in the loo but unfortunately he gave the answer before I had a chance to speak. About 23:00 everything wound up and Nat and I went back to the Coach House and to bed. All in all it had been a great day.