Wednesday 22 June 2011

Today I had scouts where we went outside and played Quick cricket as well as man hunt and races. When we got in side we had to write rules  - my groups ranged from keep your hands and feet to your self all the way to no using cheesy pick up lines and to use good grammar.

Someone suggested no bad language which would be a hard rule for Jonathan to abide by as he loves to swear.

Hannah Becomes A Scout

Holding

Hannah's Last Cubs, Moving On To Scouts, Neptunium Macro Bugs, Huge Hughs,

Started feeling a little “odd” on Monday but little anticipated I was about to get my forth or is it fifth cold in six months. As such I did little today other than potter about on the PC and catch-up on recorded TV. T’was a momentous day today for one member of our family; actually no it was momentous for all of the family, although I missed it. Today was Hannah’s last day as a Cub as of this coming Wednesday she’s a Scout and a whole period of our lives has closed. Nat became a Beaver when he was five (or was it four?) as did Hannah and so between them they’ve been attending Beavers and then Cubs on a Monday at the Barn for the last eight or even nine years. Arkala’s been in our lives all that time and now we’ll probably hardly ever see her except at the occasional joint event such as the upcoming St. Georges day parade on Sunday 10 April. Scouts meet at the Barn too but on a Wednesday so we won’t even see her in passing. Deb managed to get a few photos which I’ll upload and include here but by this time I was asleep on the sofa as the nasty bugs went about their evil business.


I can’t recall anything else other than the earthquake and the infestation of Neptunium Macro Bugs. Normally I’d give these items more space, especially as the bugs ate three people I’ve actually nodded to in passing, but to be honest the Cubs event really relegates them to the sidelines so I’ll make no more mention of them here…well apart to remark on the remarkable size of the boy bugs sexual organs which were Hugh. I’ve no idea why all their dicks were call Hugh but there you go something science can’t explain and proof of the existence of the God of the Saps Gaps.

So In Summary:

Hannah’s a Scout

and

Neptunium Macro Bugs have Huge Dicks called Hugh.

Brockington College, a Shining Report, Well Done Nat, Henry, Quiz Night, Scouts, Work, Calls, Meeting, Twitter

Well who’s a clever boy then? Today we had to visit Brockington College to meet with Nat’s teachers for a report on his progress at school this year. What a fantastic surprise; with the expected exception of his hand writing and rushed presentation his teachers, without exception, had nothing but praise for him. Miss Lewis, his form teacher, was effusive in her praise of him, his attitude to learning and his knowledge. The only criticism she had to make was that he was impatient with others who didn’t have the same level of knowledge as he did. She warmed him that as he progressed thought the education system he would meet cleverer sand cleverer people and wouldn’t always be the brightest in the class. I think she was warning him of the dangers of Hubris.


He was performing at the highest levels in Science, Maths, History, Geography, ICT and English and made a good contribution in all his classes and could be relied on to answer the more difficult questions and to follow and develop arguments.

We bumped into lots of people we’d not seen for a while, Cathy (Jonathon’s Mum), Nicky (Connor’s Mum), Brandon’s Mum and Dad and finally Dave and Maxine (Henry’s parents). Judging by Dave and Maxine’s faces when they were speaking to Miss Lewis (who’s also Henry’s form teacher) they were finally learning a few unpalatable home truths about the apple of the eyes.

Henry can be a right little inconsiderate shit but each of them has always been utterly blind to this and has always, whenever someone has accused him of doing something wrong, uncritically taken his side. It is all well and good supporting your child but the end result is that he’s grown into an amoral little bastard who is virtually friendless. Nat, who’s usually pretty easy going, can’t abide him which of itself says a lot. Maybe this will prove to be a wake-up call…one can only hope so, for Henry’s sake as much as anything.

On a lighter note, we picked up tickets for the school quiz on Saturday and after chatting with the new head, a very nice chap it seemed, were invited, should we wish, to be part of his team. Obviously being a Parent Governor, as Deb is, has its perks!

When we got home Nat and Hannah got changed for scouts, Han is now attending Scouts as well as Cubs as preparation for moving up after next week. Deb drove them there while I remained home getting ready for work. Hope they had a good time; the question is, will Scouts be able to survive Hannah!

Work was incredibly busy, again, between 8-9pm for reasons I still can’t explain. Why are there 70 calls in queue at times when during the rest of the evening one is left waiting for the next call. We had a meeting, supposed to last an hour ran for 90 minutes in part because, as usually we were all left waiting for C to finish a call. She does this every time we have a meeting and there were many moans about her while we waited. The bike4work scheme has been launched again and this may be a good opportunity to get Nat the new bike he so desperately needs!

Spent some (a lot of) time on Twitter tonight and got JDM contributing suggestions for #animalsongs, in fact his first suggestion got retweeted almost immediately the jammy sod! This was Guinea, Guinea, Guinea a Lamb After Midnight #animalsongs Admittedly, I added lamb instead of man but he came up with Guinea.

Here the rest of tonight’s tweets:

We're Living on a Bear #animalsongs

@davejewood Me but taking a break and catching up on back episodes of Waking the Dead on the iPlayer.

@TwatBlock Thanks for the RT's

Two fat ladies...88 On it's Own ...1 ....VAGINA!!! #replacehousewithvagina

I got rid of that big old roomy vigina and got a smaller much more cosy little vigina instead. #replacehousewithvagina

Fucking sub-prime mortages; I've just been kicked out of my vagina! #replacehousewithvagina

I don't care how hard you bang on the door you're not coming in my vagina #replacehousewithvagina

I had to get a huge mortgage to afford this vagina #replacehousewithvagina

I'll Huff and I'll Puff and I'll Blow Down Your Vagina #replacehousewithvagina

Animal Vagina #replacehousewithvagina

Can't Buy Me Dove #animalsongs

Mole Out The Barrel #animalsongs

My Old Man's A Dustmite #animalsongs

Lice is a Minestrone.#animalsongs

It's Still Croc and Mole To Bee #animalsongs

Show Me The Way To Armdillo #animalsongs

Croc Around The Cock #animalsongs

@davejewood Thanks for the RT

Guinea, Guinea, Guinea a Lamb After Midnight #animalsongs

"Gnu York, Gnu York (So Good They Named It Lice)" #animalsongs

Gnu York In The Bark #animalsongs

Gnu York is a Wombat #animalsongs

Gnu York City Beaver #animalsongs

Gnu York City Gull #animalsongs

Tiger a Yellow Gibbon Round The Old Oak Flea. #animalsongs

Monkey's Too Tight (To Mention)" #animalsongs

Monkey For Nothing #animalsongs

Homeward Hound #animalsongs

Tie a Yellow Gibbon round the ole oak tree. #animalsongs

The Boxer #animalsongs

Love Me Moo #animalsongs

Rock Around The Cock #animalsongs

RT @scott_hurst: If all atheists left the USA it would lose 93% of the National Academy of Sciences but less than 1% of the prison population

MT @Darnack71: New craze: stick vodka-soaked tampon into your vagina or asshole to get wasted quickly. / Lends new meaning to string theory.

Herman’s Hernias #rubbishmusicians

The Sock Pistols #rubbishmusicians

Kink Floyd #rubbishmusicians

Manfred Womann #rubbishmusicians

Engelbert Humpsyoursink #rubbishmusicians

Cindy Slaughter #rubbishmusicians

Dave Dee Dozy Beaky Mick and Tarquin #rubbishmusicians

#rubbishmusicians Mad Donna

Wednesday 24 November 2010

Today I went to Scouts after school and we played games and did some map work I also talked to Jacob about wino's school rugby team and apparently they are terrible and are mixed year 7 8 which is good news if we play them.

PC, Twitter, Booze, Civilisation, Boxing, 10 year old Girl sparring, nerf gun, scouts, Jacob

Again the day passed with me at home mostly on the PC tweeting and drinking beer, civilization you gotta love it. Nat had boxing this evening, before scouts; apparently he had thee sparring matches, one of which was against a Ten Year Old Girl,(it seems she wanted to fight him)all of which he won by applying the berserker within The 10 year old was stopped after 10 seconds apparently when he floored her.


Later in the evening when at Scouts Jacob gave him his birthday present which was a double barreled Nerf gun.

Bed. Prostrate, Baked Potato, Super Coffee, Lego, New York, Overtime, Scouts, Lock Door, Briefing

When I got home this morning I knew I couldn’t remain awake for very long because I’d be starting work early that evening. I was due in at 18:55 (two hours early) so I’d have to be out of bed by 17:00 at the latest. Eventually I went to bed at around 11:30 and managed to grab five or so hours of broken sleep; I kept waking for a pee which is weird as I’d had nowt to drink before I went to bed…Well Hello There Middle-aged Prostate!!! I was up for Five and downstairs ready for munchies. I know I’ve got something of a pot belly at the moment but I think Deb’s idea of a main meal to last me through the night was a little lacking…One Baked potato with cheese!!! Somehow I managed ALL of it and subsequently dragged myself to the kitchen to prepare my flask of killer strength black coffee (12 spoons coffee 6 spoons sugar and hydrochloric acid to taste) and grad a ready meal for later. During this time Deb left to take Hannah to ballet and I was alone with Nat. I now learned, a little, about Lego and the USA. Apparently Brockington has paid for its students to enter the Lego robot (?) building challenge. The local area winners will go on to compete nationally in London and the winners there will go on to the World finals IN New York. Well Nat has formed his own team and is now convinced that they are going all the way to New York. I mean they haven’t got a clue, as yet, of what they’re going to build but whatever it is they’re going to win; isn’t unrealistic confidence a wonderful thing?


Nat will be going to Scouts before Deb gets back and I’ll be going before he leaves so if we’re not to be burgled Nat’s going to have to remember to lock the front door when he leaves! Full of trepidation, he’s got a memory like a sieve at times; I left at 18:15 and cycled to work.

When I arrived things were fairly busy; of course my desk was occupied so I had to find one elsewhere. The two hours flew by and at 21:00 when my normal hours were to start we were advised we were scheduled to attend a brief about the Company’s winter coping strategy. This went on until 22:30 and was very impressive. We’d been visited by the MD a few weeks before and he’d made a lot of promises that we’d all heard before. This time it appears we have an MD who actually puts his money where his mouth is. If this all pans out then this winter is going to be far less stressful than last!

I was back at my desk at 22:35 and the rest of the night passed predictably. Planned out my overtime for the weekend and was still undecided about Monday. Bugger I need another fourteen words to make it to Five Hundred and Seven.

Splash Camp!!!! 2010

Splash Camp!!!!

Darren picked me up at 17:15 on Friday 17. After I had been picked up we went to the barn and helped to put al the stuff we needed in the 2 cars and the 1 trailer. Once this task was complete we set of. After about 10-20 minutes of driving we got to the outdoor centre we then set up camp with the two sleeping tents being set up by the people who would be sleeping in them this one SPAG called Mark did not help set the tent up at all. Later on we played manhunt got our camp necker's and drank some co co by this time it was about 11 so we went to bed. Mark could not find his bag and so emptied our bags out trying to find it as it turned out the bag was behind him as a result of this we were very annoyed.

Saturday

First of we had flag break and this is where Robin who is Explorer started perving on two girls from a different troupe. After flag break we went to activities we had open boating followed by kyaking both of theses were great I CAPSISED TWICE IN KYAKING LOL LOL LOL :)!!! After lunch we had the pool and Bell boating. At the pool I went scuba diving which was as awesome as I remember!!! After we got back from the pool we went bell boating and now it is not that kind of bell, you have a dirty mind especially you Hannah!!! Then we had dinner and did the same thing as the night before but we traded Mark for Josh so no more Mark!!!! :):):)

Sunday

Today we had sailing and land activities I went with Brandon in a sailing boat but we had to come into shore as we kept capsizing but at least we got to go in a big boat with a leader when we were going fast we had to lean out the boat on the opposite side. As most of the group went back to camp for the land based activities we went and watched the RC motorboat racing. When we got back to camp there was one more activity to co water jousting our team was Alistair jousting and me and Brandon paddling. Out of all the scout groups we came second we normally get knocked out first so go us!!! After this we got changed as we fell in and then worked as a team to nick robins hat, chair and when he tried to tip it over us his jug of water TE HEE!!!!!! Then we came home.

By Nat

Swimming With Jacob; Sailing With Scouts

Wednesday

Today was very wet in fact it was very very wet.  Why was it so wet? You might ask well there are two reasons you will have to wait for the second one but I will tell you the first one. The first reason is that I went swimming to Enderby with Jacob, Josh, who is Jacob’s brother, and Zak. While we were there we played a game were three people had to get a float from one end of the pool to the other sounds easy well it is for the first ten seconds because after those ten seconds a chaser is let lose on you.

The Second reason it was wet was because I went sailing with Scouts.    First I got picked up by Darren and he took, Jonathon, George and me sailing.

Once there we met Jacob, Zak, Brandon and the rest of the troop – Yahoo NO BEN.

Once Jacob and I had our life jackets on we got into our ‘pink’ boat this was the only ‘pink’ boat and took to the water. Jonathon ‘the wimp’ went in the leaders’ boat because he didn’t want to get wet!!!!!!!!!!!!

We sailed around and got attacked by Darren who has a super soaker, but also he capsized twice ha ha ha…..

Later on we purposefully capsized our boat twice – the 1^st time I got my leg caught on the sail the 2nd time I was at the front and got wet.  We also jumped into the water multiple times – I even jumped in when we were moving at speed and was abandoned by Jacob in the middle of the lake. Well maybe not the middle it was close to the shore but not to close.

By Nat (The Ginster) Jones 

Nat's blog Wednesday again but this time I am talking about Scouts.

Wednesday again but this time I am talking about Scouts.

At Scouts I got a black eye from the fat ginger twat Known as Ben god I hate that fat shity dick sucking FUCKTARD!! There is only one person who is worse then him that person is Henri who same as the above insults but worse and with the added disses of a lair, a shit face, a c#nt and a knob jokey. Any way the basterd gave me a black eye by elbowing my in the face he also hurt Joseph’s leg by dropping a log on it and Jacobs Foot by standing on it with his full 1000 of tons of weight. As a result I punched him in the stomach and made him double over and next week I am going to capsize his boat when we go sailing with scouts Ben you are going to swim with the fishes MU HA HA HA HA!!!!!  HA. As well as this we made Chinese lanterns and mine said Ben you are a dick on the side, when we went to set them lose my team set a record of the longest time with out catching fire at three minutes not one lantern has never flown ever in the history of Forth Leicester Scouts so I am the best go me go me go me go me and one last time go me’ and the number of words is 240.      

Nat's Note's - Scouts, Rounders, Ben, Empire Lord,

Today school was just a plain and simple a very average day; nothing out of the ordinary happened at all it was dull. Really not very interesting, no not very interesting indeed at all. But After school, however, I went to scouts were where we played rounder's and, of cause course , my team won by the use of the tactics of epicenes epic-ness (apart from Ben, of course) and our amazing innate skill (again apart from Ben again as he is just terrible at sport and as well as everything else. He just dose does not try at all instead he just stands around sucking his thumb like and being a retard. Now not that I haven't got anything against retards and I would could call him a fucking shity shitty ginger instead but I have a F  my friend called Jacob who is ginger.) (Does any one else think those brackets were to long?) ( Yes - Daddy) Also, in other totally unrelated news, if you want to hear more about the Empire Lord who I talked about in my last blog post last time I did a blog post then contact me on 0119 674 KISS MY ASS and we I will consider putting what you have had to say and will perhaps included it in on the blog. n No I'm just kidding we I don’t care what you think. I’ll just make up some shit up and say someone else said sent it in  an email.

Nat (the Ginster) Jones    

Wednesday 26 May – Busy Doing Nothing, Ballet, Scouts

Didn’t do very much today, I ended up staying up until about 6:00 AM sleeping fitfully in the chair downstairs as my stomach worked to process the food I’d consumed the previous evening so when, eventually, I did climb the stairs to Bedfordshire and dragged myself under the sheets I slept until 1:30 PM, by which time most of the day had passed me by, and when I did make it downstairs I just plonked myself down in a chair and watched the TV. I know dear readers, sometimes you must wonder how I cope with all the excitement; just let me tell you, it’s not easy but somehow I manage! When everyone was home we sat down to watch Stephen Fry’s program on Wagner (up till now everything I’ve ever seen him in, documentary wise, has been riveting, regardless of the subject matter,  but unfortunately this was a documentary too far) we made it two thirds of the way but eventually threw in the towel. So there’s a first for you Mr Fry you’ve finally made a programme I couldn’t watch all the way through.

Deb took Han to ballet at 6:15 and Darren picked up Nat for Scouts at 6:45 and I was left alone for an hour during which time I did…nothing, so no change there.

Everyone was abed by 10:30 except for me, I started watching Luther on the BBC iPlayer, fell asleep, woke when switched over to Family Guy, watched two episodes of FG fell asleep and so the night passed. Eventually I woke around 5:00 AM and went to bed. Slept until 10:30 and the back up. As I noted earlier, the excitement just doesn’t stop!

Wednesday 10 March - Skeptoid, Ballet, Scouts, Logical Fallacies and Work

Back to work tonight, as I stayed up all night again I went to bed after everyone had left for the day as I’m back to work tonight. As usual I couldn’t get to sleep so spent most of the day catching up on the latest Skeptoid Podcasts, after all if Nat going to quiz me on logical fallacies I need to be up to speed. Deb and the kid’s home at the normal time, just in time to wake me after I’d finally managed to get to sleep. It’s no wonder that I’m always exhausted!


After dinner Deb took Han to ballet and around 06:45 Darren called for Nat and took him and Jonathon, his Son, to Scouts.

Deb was back at about 7:40 and she immediately drove me to work.

I printed out The Top Twenty Logical Fallacies from the Skeptics Guide to the Universe website for Nat without checking that the print had captured the whole document. When I checked it at home next morning it had chopped the right hand margin off so I’ll do again tonight but this time I’ll copy it into Word and reformat it first.