Sitting in the Sun "Reading"? The News of the Screws...Shame on Us!!!

Deb went shopping this morning and for some reason decided it would be nice to sit out in the Sun reading a Sunday newspaper, she's so nostalgic at times!. Unfortunately she decided that nice as this would be it wasn't enough nice to justify spending sufficient money to acquire a "Quality Sunday" you know, like The Mail on Sunday

or similar!

No instead she bought the cheapest;

Yes, The News of the World  

or to give it it's correct name 

"The News of the Screws".

 I think I would have preferred The Sunday Sport, at least that's funny, or it was the last time I read it which must be about twenty years ago, and I'd love to know if Hitler, who flew there in a WWII Bomber, is still on the Moon.

By the by the SPORT in the Sunday Sport is actually an anagram for the content of the paper and stands for Sex, Porn, Orgasm, Rape and Tits. Anyway, back to TNOTS what a complete load of excrement. It's cover to cover celebrities and prurient voyeurism all "we reveal the shocking secrets of...some "private person"* who's life we've ruined for no reason at all...apart from flogging papers that is! I remember my Father refusing to have the rag in the house after Murdock acquired it and reopened the Profumo Affair; well done Dad!
I don't believe that I read a single "article" mainly because I couldn't find a single article to read!

* there's usually some spurious claim about  the public interest. This story must be told because this "Pervert"

IS A LOLLIPOP PERSON AND IN A POSITION TO ABUSE CHILDREN!

Nat's blog,custom map

Sunday
Today started with a nice lie in until ten to eleven o’clock  and straight away Jacob rang asking to come round and go on the Xbox even though he has his own one mine just that much better as mine is well mine. When he came round we went on the box of x and played halo 3 were we created a zombie map with traps and shize and mongooses well the mongooses were added later but there had to be mongooses as mongooses are the best motorized things in Halo with there speed and brilliant turning capabilities and you can have a guy on the back with a BRUT SHOT init man mongooses are so gikster or gangster as some one with out a speech impediment would say. On a related note I have been working on traps and as a result I will make a trap map to demonstrate my impressive abilities at trapping so watch this space or don’t I do not care at all it is not my problem if you die because you don’t know enough about me when I take over the world. Ten more words to do I don’t know what to put oh wait I’m there.

11/07/2010

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Nat to Josh's Birthday BarBQ Sat / Fri / Thursday

Saturday

Today was EPIC, brilliant and utterly awesome in nearly every way. You may be thinking to yourself why is this, what made this day so great, well if you SHUT UP and listen I will tell you. It started off with me getting up at around nine O'Clock and although this does not sound so great but what made it great was going on the Xbox straight away. Later that day at six O'Clock I went to Jacob's house to celebrate Joshes birthday with a barbecue (and boy do I love barbecues). What happened at this barbecue? Lots of cool things: millions of gangster things plus epic things and funny things too. 

It started of with me putting one Xbox controller in my bag along with my water gun and one spare mag. Next I cycled up to Jacob's and played an old GameCube game at lest I think it was for the GameCube it might just have been a Wii game or some other shize. I only played two games of it as it was a tournament and I was terrible at the game and everyone else was very good at it and so I gust went outside and soaked some people with my water gun which was fun in fact soaking any one with a water gun is great family fun for every one not like High School Musical or bratz or even Hannah (the hated) Montana don't those names send a shiver down your spine because they do to me and as in the honored word of family guy damn nature your scary ramen to that (if you don't know what those are there noodles American noodles). After that we went inside and played on Modern Warfare two an OK game but it was great at Jacob's because we insulted Americans and one of the Americans called Jacob a RETARD can you believe it because I can not in fact it was a disgrace a total disgrace I demand a war MU HA HA HA and if you are taking me seriously or think I am being serious go and have a brain put in your head because I'm not a terrorist or a jihadist or an American and I'm not going to blow up robin hood airport or eat a turtle or send a twitter about it so go suck eggs you terrorist init and that's four hundred words right there. Soon after that little incident we had burgers yum yum yum burgers they were so bugery and meaty and tasty and cheesy because of the cheese and it had HP sauce on delicious. Soon after that I had another burger and then we had a Nerf and water fight speaking of Nerf there have been some new guns confirmed!!!  

 The Rev 5        

             
 Soon after we went on the trampoline and I soaked even more people with you guest it my water gun well what else would I use a banana or a random dude called Bob. 

A Beautiful Visitor to our Garden and Hooray That Psycho's Dead!

From Drop Box

From Drop Box

Of the Ten photos of our visitor I shot with my N82 only these two turned out to be reasonably in focus. I do think that the Dragon Fly is amongst the most beautiful insects one can see in the UK. This one was quite a subdued colour compared to some of those I have seen along the canal.

Hooray That Psycho's Dead!
The most wanted man in Britain Raoul Moat has shot himself dead after a dramatic six-hour stand-off with armed police in Rothbury.
At 1.15am a single gunshot rang out and echoed around the woodland where Moat had been holding what was believed to have been a sawn-off shot gun to his head.
What fantastic news. that murdering blinding girlfriend wounding vicious mental savage worthless piece of human excrement has done the world a favour and blown his fu*king head off. Let joy be unbound it'll be a chance for us all to see what a bunch of complete arseholes live in this great country of ours; when they start hero worship sites, on Facebook, about him ...what a complete load of brainless tossers they are!

 Glad you're dead and that you've put yourself out of our misery!

Wet Sponges in Flight Afternoon Water Fight Delight

Hannah and I having a water FIGHT 

Nat decides to join in 

That's When Things Get Serious!

I WILL BE REVENGED UPON THE FOUL CREATURES

Facebook Message To Ash

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I posted a message on FB to Ash advising him to get AudioBoo on his Android desire so that he could post an audio messages on Facebook and Twitter 

Perverts Picnic

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Going Back in Time and Daytime TV

That's it; I'm obsessed, today I've gone back and created blog entries for 1976, 1981 and 1986. The interesting thing is how much you remember once you start chasing down memories. Often it's the frustration of trying to find something on the inter-web (just see how much info you can find for 1976 for example) that actually stimulates your little grey cells ...as M.Poirot might have put it. I've relived starting university, my first proper job, getting married, buying our first house, working in a pub for a year and so on.

I'm afraid that I've had Daytime TV on in the background and Jesus H Christ it is so banal. I'm sick of hearing about what's happening in "The Soaps" as if they were reality. I can't believe that TV employs people to watch TV so that they can tell the viewers what it is they are going to view in case they are to stupid to follow the plots themselves without these handy spoilers. It's not exactly Rocket Surgery to follow the plots of one or more soaps, is it? I know it's supposed to be arrogant to look down one's nose at "the Peoples Culture" and I know quite how addictive they can be, I got hooked, for a while,  when I was home in the day during some of the 1990's, but for flipps sake this is celebrating and encouraging the dumbing down of society. I'm not a drama snob, if you'd seen what I've read and watched that would be obvious, but I do think that Lord Reith had a point about the purpose of TV and that perhaps we would all benefit if it returned a little way, at least, toward his original vision. If Karl Marx was alive today I think he'd claim that, in the twenty first century, "The Soap" rather than Religion is the opium of the People.

Tony, Tony Almeida, Chillax, there's such a thing as Going Too Far you know! What would Michelle say?

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24: Season 7
Tony

Sky TV or Virgin Cable - Which do You hate the most?

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Our Baby Birds (Chicks to you Flash Gits)

There's a nest in the bush just next to our back door. I managed to get a couple of blurred images of the nest yesterday and today it would appear that one of the chicks has either fallen, or tried to fly, from the nest and is, at the moment, a far better walker than it is a flyer. Luckily, for him/her, I spotted Monty spotting it and managed to grab him before he got the chance to play with it in his mouth. I've now locked Monty inside and given the little blighter the best chance I can. I'm loath to try and pick it up and place it back in the nest in case I harm it. Good Luck Little One!

Nat's Note's - Scouts, Rounders, Ben, Empire Lord,

Today school was just a plain and simple a very average day; nothing out of the ordinary happened at all it was dull. Really not very interesting, no not very interesting indeed at all. But After school, however, I went to scouts were where we played rounder's and, of cause course , my team won by the use of the tactics of epicenes epic-ness (apart from Ben, of course) and our amazing innate skill (again apart from Ben again as he is just terrible at sport and as well as everything else. He just dose does not try at all instead he just stands around sucking his thumb like and being a retard. Now not that I haven't got anything against retards and I would could call him a fucking shity shitty ginger instead but I have a F  my friend called Jacob who is ginger.) (Does any one else think those brackets were to long?) ( Yes - Daddy) Also, in other totally unrelated news, if you want to hear more about the Empire Lord who I talked about in my last blog post last time I did a blog post then contact me on 0119 674 KISS MY ASS and we I will consider putting what you have had to say and will perhaps included it in on the blog. n No I'm just kidding we I don’t care what you think. I’ll just make up some shit up and say someone else said sent it in  an email.

Nat (the Ginster) Jones    

A Very Short Entry Indeed!

Tuesday 6th of July in the Year of Our Lord Two Thousand and Ten. Awoke 9:40.Kids home 3:30. Wrote this at 01:57 the following day. That's about it for Tuesday, well except for...and that's how, quite inadvertently, whilst looking for a cave salamander I made the breakthrough that finally realised for Mankind the Sixty Year Dream of Controlled Fusion. Finally the human race had unlimited free power and a golden age of plenty dawned. A set of Obama Russian Dolls,

The Daily Mail horoscope

and an old video of The Magic Roundabout

was all it took; you couldn't make it up, unless you were on Class A hallucinogens and I wasn't, so it must be true! Expect a rush on Obama Russian Dolls any-time soon.

Nat's notes, Warhammer,story

Today fuck all happened so I’ll tell you a story.

 I will take you to the magical world of Warhammer were everything is decided by the role of a dice. We will take on the role of an Empire Lord one of the hardest most bad ass men in the Empire who can defeat anything short of a demigod with one mighty swipe of his hammer not only this but his blessed sacred and epic amour combined with his natural immenseness means he can survive nearly anything, but that’s not all he also commands an elite and extremely loyal brigade of top notch troops he is undefeated in battle he is a man of high nobility his name is Bob. That’s not all though he also is as clever as a clever thing as cunning as a fox who is in charge of the cunning department at Oxford university and not just that he also has been trained in the art of language and diplomacy so not only can he bash your head in but he can also broker a deal of your land with your next of kin. oh wait I have spent to much time describing the dude so I will have to stop now. 

By Nat (the Ginster) Jones        

It’s a blog done by Nat INIT - Nat's notes, fell down stairs, RE, Hannah's Summer Concert, Henri, BB11, Tea, Posh

Monday 5/7/10
Today started on a low point but also a happy accident because when I was going down stairs I tripped and fell all the way to the bottom and twisted my ankle. You may be wondering what the happy accident is was, well I’ll tell you. I did not have to cycle to school instead my mom Mum took me and I got caught the bus home. but  Anyway, At school, we had our last  today was the last (yes Last) RE lesson of Year 7 so that's one year down only 2 two more to go... Hooray!!! And then After those that two years RE will be out of my life permanently...Yippee!!! When I got home I went, with Mum and Dad, to the Millfield School's Summer Concert to see in which Hannah who was obviously the best there! In fact she was almost as good as me which is a very hard thing to be saying something! Unfortunately, Whilst there I had to put up with Henri, the most annoying person ever, was there but the concert itself  it self more then made up for that one small inconvenience. During the interval whilst there I also had a cup of tea and, Darling, I drank it in such a refined way; with my pinkie held out and talking speaking like Ben the Posh (BB11) Quitter. Oh dear only 193 words must get to 200 - oh wait I am. 

Nat (The Ginster) Jones   

Hannah* Presents : The Millfield School Summer Concert

Yesterday was kind of quite, apart from an appointment with the Dental Hygienist at midday I did very little. I did cycle there, which is good, and while in the waiting room I discovered a wireless network without password protection; I checked on my way out and it wasn’t the practice’s network.

No, today’s big event was to be the Millfield School Concert and Hannah (*along with Hari) was one of the two Masters of Ceremonies. It was a great night and below are the pictures we took and the videos we filmed. At the end we helped clear away and came home. Dave and Maxine were there to see Amelia and we chatted with them for a little while. Henry was also present and this put Nat on his best behaviour which is always good practice.

 

We went home via ASDA, to get a few beers for me, where we met Miss Tang (a Chinese lady who worked at Millfield as a teaching assistant) and her daughter Millie who said very complimentary things about Hannah especially about her singing voice. At home we settled down to watch the recording of BB11; yes we are still hooked. Hannah settled down with Monty as you can see below.

 

Lazy Day - Jacob Here, BarBQ...Kinda, MoFO, Ripping Up The Allotment

We didn't really do very much today. Jacob was round and he and Nat spent loads of time upstairs on the X-Box before actually coming out into the Sun to shoot each other, and everyone else, with their water guns. Deb bought a "one-off" BarBQ from ASDA and we had beef burgers, turkey burgers, lamb thingamajigs on sticks; I made two veggie kebabs from onion, pepper, mushrooms and tomatoes for me and Deb. The little BarBQ was quite effective; the turkey burgers, however, were far too thick and so the outsides got incinerated whilst the centres remained uncooked. We solved this problem by cross slicing each burger and making two thin burgers. After we'd done this the turkey burgers were rather nice. The kebabs were a bit hit and miss and next time I'll give more thought to the size of the individual items. Shantelle had gone to York, for the day(!), to see relatives so Han played pestered Nat and Jacob instead.
At one point the kids were stupid enough to mess with Deb:

BE AFRAID 

BE VERY VERY AFRAID

Don't Mess With This Mother 

OR 

Your Arse Will Be Grass!!!

Later that evening, when it was cool enough, Deb and I went to the allotment to water our "small" area of planting. While we were there we had a look at the covered areas where weeds had grown on top. These,in the main, had rooted into the lumps of earth I'd thrown there and were easy to rip off the covering. We had a deeply satisfiying ten minutes doing just this and afterwards the allotment didn't look quite so jungle like.

Nat’s Blog Init - Jacob, Assassin's Creed 2, Zack, Water Guns, Gay, Tennis, Leonardo Da Vinci

Sunday
Today I got up at 12:00 and almost straight away Jacob called and asked to come round. and so 10 Ten minutes later he Jacob arrived at my house on his bike. First he gave me back my game, and the name of that game is HALO 2 one of the best games ever, and after this we played Assassin's Creed 2; another brilliant game I own. again I owned
Later on  that day but not much later  we  went decided to go and ambush Zak with our water guns. and I went and got another water gun, for Hannah out of the shed, for Hannah and then we heeded headed of off to ambush Zak him.  and When we got there he was out on the street playing tennis with his big gay friends (I did do not mean to be offenceive offensive toward any homosexuals when I said say that). but I now know discovered that you should never to take Hannah to a water fight.  as She has a paddy if she gets even slightly wet after trying to make everyone else making them as wet as possible. We headed home and went back on to playing AC2; and I have now completed the mission where you use a flying machine created designed by, the legendary inventor*, Leonardo Devinchy  Da Vinci the legendary inventor . Afterwards that we went on the trampoline and used our water guns to soak each other even more!

Nat (The Ginster) Jones 

*well that’s what it says on the games box

This Is Why We need Closer Ties With Europe - USA On It's Why to becoming a 3rd World Country of Dumb

This is why we need closer ties with our European partners, this is why China and India are in the ascendancy. Even on a Continent as blessed with resources as is North America the USA cannot hold out against this bunch of medieval ignoramuses. They are so indoctrinated it beggars belief; the group they mostly closely resemble and with whom they have the most in common are Islamic Fundamentalists who are equally scientifically and rationally backward. Anyone know where i can learn Mandarin and Cantonese cheaply?