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Saturday, 11 June 2016
Thursday, 9 June 2016
Just noticed these caterpillars in the garden this morning. Apparently they are Rusty Tussock Moth caterpillars.
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Friday, 3 June 2016
Thursday, 2 June 2016
Here's Erin who's another lowlife with a fucking huge arse that hasn't been fashionable since last Wednesday; again #KillHerNow #ThisMorning
Here's Sam who's petite but is cursed with a big fat arse that means she's not fit to live in civilised society so #KillHerNow #ThisMorning
Triny's here to show U little tricks; like how 2 make ur camel toe this summer's essential fashion accessory #thismorning #CamelToeThursday
I buy my wife flowers to signify significant events in our relationship; hopefully things like her funeral Free Free at Last! #thismorning
You look really really nice #ThisMorning you are stunningly attractive and I adore every moment I spend with you .... I lied!
Positive feedback? OK I fucking positively want U to stop UR whining U whinging woman & cook me my fucking dinner! #ThisMorning #Positivity
I'm sorry but you are Scottish and only gay Scotsmen pay compliments cos it's a sign of you being a big bummer!!! #thismorning #stereotypes
Lemon Drizzle Cake ... wow only something my daughter has been cooking since she was 9 years old! UR pushing the envelope today #ThisMorning
Oh my dear lord I do believe I've quite accidentally put on Worzel Gummidge's Sarcastic head #ThisMorning #WorzelGummidge
How can I live without his compliments? Because he didn't go to school, kicked a ball instead & gave U a millionaire lifestyle? #thismorning
OMG no soap updates; at least I'll get to hear about Wayne Rooney not paying his wife compliments (cos he still can't speak?) #thismorning
Back in the day ( a golden age of ladies in the kitchen) the #BigBrother House was more commonly called "The Local Asylum" #ThisMorning
YEA it's showbiz gossip time; now I can live my life vicariously thru the love lives of people I've never ever met Thank U #God #thismorning
Coming to #Netflix soon " Orange is the new Cretinous Wanker" #thismorning
Obviously he doesn't understand what the words "Long Term Effects" actually means!!! #thismorning
I'm sorry but just let this idiot remove himself from the gene pool and avoid the small possibility that he might procreate! #ThisMorning
This guy's a walking advertisement for the fact that even terminal skin cancer has some positive social benefits. #FuckingMoron #ThisMorning
Only Five Daily Erections #gettingoldin4words
Dying My Pubic Hair #gettingoldin4words
OMG Taylor Swift (whoever she is) has split with her boyfriend; I really can't see any purpose to continue living now!!! #ThisMorning
That's nothing more fulfilling than devoting your entire life to collecting stuff associated with a dead celebrity! #thismorning
Dear #ThisMorning doctor my brain keeps falling out my ear could U recommend a hat that will both stop this & look fashionable at the beach?
Health questions #Thismorning my 7 yr old has a chest infection & now, without you examining him, please tell me he's become a space alien!
OH FFS it was a rollacoaster accident so we should never reopen it; ok all cars off the road forever after next accident then! #ThisMorning
Y wasting police time on an arsehole whovs just repeating what he reads in the Daily Mail. Oh no an idiot invaded my #safespace #thismorning
Oh my god I was expecting more than that; what shocking footage why the fuck did that go viral? #thismorning #racism? #IslamIsnotARace #god
Retweeted Lyn (@ChippyLyn): Twat in a hat KLAXON #jeremykyle
Retweeted Nick (@NORFLDN): Dirty fucking jock scum #jeremykyle
Oh my god shouty Scottish klaxon... please someone turn on the subtitles! #jeremykyle
Leave UR hat on cos u look like a knob head I want U2 put something on the end of it! He's pissed but then again he's Scottish #jeremykyle
Next... lie detector results to ruin yet another person's life because they're 69% accurate under the best control conditions! #jeremykyle
Retweeted Carolyn Ellis (@capfantastic): Atheists have morals. Obviously higher than some of the rest who sought the Church to try and cure their obsessions. We don't believe in GOD
#JeremyKyle again justifies his high salary as another arsehole gets into the car 4 their one way trip 2 concrete block, sack & chains land!
Shut your muff klaxon. Doctor state the bloody obvious klaxon. I double klaxon klaxon #jeremykyle
If she's a heroin addict why is she wasting so much money on tattoos... seems a bit odd for a heroin addict? #jeremykyle
If she is getting him 2 eat anything she's doing well actually! Plus she refuses to become white no matter how many times we ask #jeremykyle
Come on lads U know UR fat bird (picked up when U were pissed) isn't really committed to losing weight if she won't try heroin #jeremykyle
Three kids taken away from them... Is it any wonder that they became heroin users! Did I get cause and effect confused there??? #jeremykyle
Step Dad's knew there was something wrong with him Not that he ever mentioned it? Another smack head needing a smacked head? #jeremykyle
Might I suggest ladies that U wait long enough 2 find out whether or not matey will make a good father B4 U procreate with them #jeremykyle
Cry Chavoc Me Hearties It Be Nearly #Jezza Time Again ... Bring Fourth The The Toothless Scum Who Dare Face The Gladiators Of Twitter #Jere…
Barn on The Fourth of July #farmfilms
The thing I like most about #farmfilms is watching the trailers.
Swine, Women and Songs #FarmFilms
Wayne's World of Farming #FarmFilms
BARNaby Sludge #FarmFilms
The Not So Wild Geese #FarmFilms
Rooster Cockburn #FarmFilms
Meat me in St. Louis #FarmFilms
Wednesday, 1 June 2016
My Ex was so demanding so demanding she'd insist that I text her whenever I got in which, I imagine, proves just how really tiny my penis is
Retweeted Bob Kostic (@causticbob): I saw this sign on the bathroom door:'Bathroom out of order due to renovations. Please use floor below.' They didn't even put down paper
Wanking until I've jizzed all over a #Tory #Posh Boy's Face #___AlwaysMakesMeSmile as it does many a #ToryPoshBoy
Oh no you can not go to prison if you're capable of a nasty discharge... #SoBackSackAndCrackLads #policecustody #24HoursInPoliceCustody
He's as well stitched up as a kipper that's been in a well bad accident and is now in A&E having a shit load of stitches init #policecustody
I've be very been through the desert on a horse with no mane #SongsGoingNowhere
Retweeted K.P. Kelly (@KP_Kelly): I don't buy the slogan, "only worry about yourself." We don't live in the world alone. We live with people and we should worry about them.
Ferry Across A Jersey. #SongsGoingNowhere
RIDE A DEAD WHITE SWAN #SongsGoingNowhere
24 Seconds from Tulsa #SongsGoingNowhere
She's got a ticket to wait at the station cos the French fucking railway's on fucking strike again... I #TheCunts . #SongsGoingNowhere
U an intelligent gangsta when U intimidate a witness by knocking da window with a gun gonna serve twice da time now #24HoursInPoliceCustody
There've been times when having 1,700 books on my #Nook seemed silly but now that I'm downloading them to the new PC it don't seem so stupid
This is Spinal Gas Tap #HeatUpAMovie
Miss Conflagration (this time it's personal and so she's no longer feeling very congenial) #HeatUpAMovie
The Song of Saint Burn A Debt #HeatUpAMovie
The Wild Fire Bunch #HeatUpAMovie
A View to A Grill #HeatUpAMovie
Grill Bill #HeatUpAMovie
Kill Bill with a Flamethrower #HeatUpAMovie
Cat on a molten titanium roof #heatupamovie
The girl with the fire breathing dragon tattoo #HeatUpAMovie
When Harry Wet Sally #HeatUpAMovie
Retweeted Jason Spacey (@Jason_Spacey): Vote Leave are just a UKIP tribute act. Boris Johnson's stage name should be Nigel Homage.
#WishIKnewHowToQuit a runaway vehicle, moving at a significantly fightening velocity, without removing my entire outer epidermal covering!👍
OK time for a break after five hours solid work setting up new pc!!! #Acer
God help a #newbie #silversurfer who buys their 1st PC then tries to install #Mcafee antivirus honestly it's a fucking nightmare on steroids
OMG setting up #Mcafee is a bloody nightmare so unnecessarily convoluted
#WishIKnewHowToQuit Heroin cos then I'd have more money for meth! 💉💉💉🚫🚫🚫🌡️🌡️🌡️✅✅✅
oh dear PC just went bang ... time to buy a new one me thinks thank god for externat harddrives 90% of shit backed up
OMG I've slept through #JeremyKyle thank god for ITV1+ or I'd have missed my morning ration of scum!!!
Cry Chavoc Me Hearties It Be Nearly #Jezza Time Again ... Bring Fourth The The Toothless Scum Who Dare Face The Gladiators Of Twitter #Jere…
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