Writing a thousand words today may prove to be something of a challenge, especially as I misspelled something three times a moment ago! In fact I appear to have made about five mistakes in the proceeding sentence and just spelt proceeding incorrectly to.
Perhaps that’s the solution I could write a thousand words all of which contain typos so that I wouldn’t actually have to write any actual content. On the other hand if you are going to end up hitting the keys that many times you might as well take the opportunity to write something that makes sense. Oh Dear Oh Dear Oh Dear what a quandary I find myself in!
Well that’s enough opening waffle, I must be sure to save some for the other end of this post…I’m sure I’m going to need it. So what happened this wonderful Wednesday aside for not a lot that is?
Luck chap that I am my eczema has decided to put in an unwelcome reappearance in recent days but not content simply to turn my left hand into a fair imitation of a leper colony it has decided to extend its reach to other parts of me glorious body. In particular, I discovered that patches were starting to appear on my legs and lower back. These weren’t expressed like the skin peeling away from my fingers; rather these patches resembled small grazes and were exceedingly itchy. I know that a couple of the kids at school with Hannah suffer from very severe eczema and my heart aches for them; as an adult what I go through is bad enough but it must be a living hell for those poor mites. Anyway, the upshot was that I spent a thoroughly unpleasant day scratching and exacerbating the problem. We’d run out of steroid cream and being without funds I couldn’t even pop across to the chemist to buy some non-prescription cream to help relieve the itching! Eventually I did go to bed but was unable to get any decent sleep; whenever I did manage to drop off I would shortly there after rub up against an inflamed area and immediately wake up. By the time Nat came to get me out of bed at 6:00 I was exhausted. I managed to a small amount of dinner but gave most of it to Hannah. I could hardly keep my eyes open and finally decided to bite the bullet and ring JDM to see if I could take the night off as holiday. Luckily I must have spoken to him before he heard from H, who had gotten pissed at his daughter’s birthday celebrations where his brother in law had spiked his coke, so he wasn’t aware that H was going to be absent too. He agreed that we there were sufficient staff available and agreed to my request. It’s ironic that the evening before during our team brief we’d gone over the new holiday arrangements and agreed that, in future we would all try to avoid requesting holiday at short notice! I returned to bed immediately and eventually fell asleep and slept until approximately 3:00. I woke to go to the loo and Deborah’s snoring prevented me from getting back to sleep so I decided to cut my losses and go down stairs. I had meant to catch up on some of the TV programmes I’d recorded but thought I’d log on to the PC first just to catch up on emails etc. I was still there when Nat came down at 6:00. I asked him if he’d like me to go with him on his newspaper round. As always, he said “if you want to” which is Nat speak for “yes please” so we kitted up and set off to do the round. Well that’s everything that happened on Wednesday and I’m still well over three hundred words short of the thousand word target, as I had anticipated, so it’s time once again to turn to the waffle machine of nonsense for inspiration. I’ve just made the stupid mistake of actually stopping for a moment in order to wait for inspiration. If it were possible to photograph your thoughts then a photo of mine at that moment would have been a complete blank signifying a complete absence of ideas. Never remove your fingers from the key board just keep hammering away because the moment you stop to think you are lost. Trying to consciously think of something to think about is almost as difficult as deliberately trying not to think about something. The very act, in the case of trying not to think about “something” means you are in fact thinking about that very “something” that you’re trying not to think about and so you are lost before you’ve began. Well think of the reverse of that and you’ll have a picture of what it’s like to try to think of something to say when you know that’s what you are trying to do. I hope that made sense but if it didn’t it at least got me nearer to my target and in the end that’s all that really counts. I wonder how much more complete nonsensical bollocks I’ve got to write before I get to my target. The problem is that when I do reach it I’ve then got to do the same thing for Thursday because I’m actually writing this at 02:08 on Friday 4/2 morning. Oh bugger, I’ve still got one hundred and six words to go; well not at this point but back where I started the sentence with Oh bugger. Obviously I’ve now got one hundred and six words less the words I’ve written up to this point to go plus to go. However even being a pedant about it isn’t going to get me all the way to where I want to be in terms of total words written so I’m still in need of inspiration but bearing in mind what happened the last time I stopped to get inspired I’m hesitant to do that again. So I find myself in something of a quandary; if I stop typing and wait for the muse then it’s likely I won’t be able to continue whereas if I don’t stop and just keep on typing I’m not going to have anything to type other than this longwinded description of my predicament which is, at least, helping me on my way. Well isn’t that just like life in general the less you have to say the more you speak. I’m well on my way to being a literary empty vessel. Oh well it’s all academic now because I’ve just realised that I’m now approaching eleven hundred words and that thousand word target is a thing of the past and so is eleven hundred for that matter! Bye the Bye, I just recalled what I did on the PC during those lost hours! I discovered Calibre an Ebook application which I downloaded and played with. Technically this was something that happened on Thursday so I’ll go into more detail in the next post and it’ll give me a chance to hit that thousand word target. Oh and I downloaded series five of Dexter! Finally, I’m now over twelve hundred so how’s that for writing then Boyo?
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