Saturday 12 March 2011

How long should someone be upset after an argument - to me once you've said your piece that should be it I can't see the point of dragging it out.

It seems to me that Meyrick and I aren't putting up a united front maybe I am too soft on them but Meyrick always goes in all guns blazing and I have a more softly softly approach and thats not because my parents were strict with me far from it I had a great childhood full of love and laughter, I can honestly say I never remember my parents having an argument until I was about 12 - if I did something wrong we talked about it.  Maybe the difference is that I was on only child and life for a lone child is so different to one with siblings - constant fighting and attention seeking.

Talking is something that this house seems to lack, the kids are always shouting, one trying to outdo the other, me shouting at them and Meyrick shouting at me and the kids.  Thats when he's talking to us - he will never discuss any issue - if I do push him to talk I feel that I get shouted down or talked to as if I'm an idiot who doesn't know what they're talking about and has opinions that are worthless.

I often wonder if I carried on driving and didn't go home would anyone really notice, god I feel like a hamster on wheel - sleep, chasing kids, work dealing with £$%&@*, running after kids, feeding family, cleaning up after family, sleep, chasing kids etc etc etc -  is there no end to it....

Meyrick has such high aspirations for the kids - I know he wants them to succeed where he feels we have failed - yet I have the same hopes for them, but I primarily want them to be happy with their lives what ever they end up doing.

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