Yet another not a lot day but lets see what we can come up with to enhance the creative writing juices…nothing so far so what did happen today?
Got away from work late but at least the wind was in my favour on the way home and I arrived there only a little later than usual. Nat was back from his paper round and both he and Han were on the sofa watching some mind numbing Disney shit. Dragged them over to see Hannah’s panoramic photos on the PC; these hadn’t turned out the way I wanted but there was an unexpected bonus in that as the panorama progressed Han appeared to become more and more transparent until eventually you could see Monty through her almost totally transparent bottom half. Don’t know if I’ll be able how I did this and deliberately replicate it in future, that’ll have to be a project for another day.
After Deb had left to drop Nat at school, rugby today so too much kit for him to cycle I walked Han to school and we took Monty with us. As we left Shantelle, from a few doors up, her Mum and her brother (Leon?) came out too. It seems that Han and she are going through another of their “off again” phases so we didn’t walk together which was a shame because her Mum’s a bit of a Milf (merely window shopping dearest reader…honestly). Left Han at the school gates and took Monty home via the KW grass. When we arrived home I immediately spotted the letter that Hannah was supposed to have posted and went out and shoved it into the post box. No beer so a quick trip to ASDA was the next order of the day and this was quickly done. I returned just in time to start watching the inimitable JK show but for some reason couldn’t get into it, perhaps I’m reaching chav saturation point and starting to find them more annoying rather than amusing. It is frightening to know just how many imbecilely stupid people there are in this world, these are the kinds of people I wouldn’t trust to sit the right way round on a toilet seat (acknowledgement here for that phrase readily given to Rowan Atkinson’s superb Father of the Bride sketch).
I tinkered for a while on the PC messing round with the photos I’d taken of Han and the two panoramas I’d taken of the Winstanley Arms during the walk back home, I then uploaded these to Twitpic and FaceBook. Eventually Morpheus called out to me and I once again took that trip up the stairs to good old Bedfordshire. I’d had the foresight to fill the hot water bottle early and place it in the bed which was, as a result, warm and relaxing. I put the Skeptics Guide to the Universe podcast on and gradually drifted off to sleep. Awoke a number of times to visit the loo and once again experienced the downside of drinking a couple of beers immediately before going to bed. Aside from this I slept the sleep of the just untroubled by the enormous, wide ranging and frankly appalling sins of my pissed (whoops sorry) past which I have conveniently wiped from my memory. No longer was my sleep troubled by remembrances of downsizing, expropriation, corruption and sleaze; my time as one of Maggie’s Ministers of Mayhem and Destruction was a thing long forgotten.
Got up at 6:00 and came down to the usual noisy mayhem of my progeny; despite repeated requests to desist they continued to annoy until finally, I was forced to beat both of them to within an inch of their lives. Even after this they continued to annoy with their pitifully requests for an ambulance; I’m far too soft with the pair of them I think it’s time to unleash the studded belt of exceptional agony!
I left for work at 7:00 and once again battle against a strong wind all the way there and was exhausted by the time I arrives. It was very busy this evening compared to the previous three nights and we barely stopped, apart from a brief (OK Quick) brief, until around 1:00am. Things quietened down a lot after that and H and I chatted and plotted about how we could terminate, with extreme prejudice the Mersey Mouth without getting nicked because once more she spent the entire shift regaling the newbie’s (and the long suffering rest of us) with her tired old stories all told at the top of her annoying voice interspersed with her incredibly annoying laugh. I reckon that even if we were caught we would escape conviction if we relied on the defences of either provocation or diminished responsibility. No sane Jury would convict us once we adduced evidence as to the detrimental effects on ones mental faculties of working (enduring) of working with her over an extended period.
JDM’s now been back for the whole four nights and he Seems to be OK; to be honest, I’ve kept my distance I imagine that he just wants to put the whole sorry episode behind him and my harking on about it isn’t likely to be conductive to the achievement of that particular goal. Did you see how I made that sentence unnecessarily long because I’m trying to break the thousand word barrier? I’ve many similar tricks that permit me to waffle on endlessly about nothing whilst giving the impression that I’m actually saying something concrete. Far from it deceived readers I’ve not said anything of substance for at least the last hundred words but what I have managed to do is reach nine hundred and fifty words and put that elusive thousand word finish line that much closer. I’ve really got it in my sights now and there can’t be much more for me to say before I cross the absolutely arbitrary line. In fact I’d not be surprised if I’d not (1000) just done it! Hooray for waffle!
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