Friday – Be gone foul Phlatpac of Ikeyer I, using the Sword of BnQ; banish you to the Warehouses of Not Ting Ham! Neither you nor the Evil Al Lenkey of Nuckelscrape shall ever return to plague me ….Zzzzzzzzzzz. Well that’s all I remember!
Saturday - Han was poorly over the weekend and so missed the restart of ballet training after the summer break. She also didn’t seem very interested in playing with the kids next door either, so she spent most of the weekend listening to Harry Potter on her iPod and doing girly things on my PC; GoGo you multitasking girlie you!
Nat travelled into Leicester, on Saturday, to the GamesWorkshop with a new friend from Brockington, Brandon, who turns out to be a fellow Warhammer fanatic. Nat, apparently, knew Brandon when he used to attend the same cubs group as he did but they lost touch when Brandon joined a different Scout group. Well, now that they both attend Brockington and share, it seems, a love of Warhammer 40,000 the friendship has been renewed; it helps, from Nat’s point of view, that Brandon’s got a shed of his own in his garden! Apparently Brandon was at our place playing Warhammer with Nat on Friday evening, I wouldn’t know as I was asleep upstairs dead to the World.
Sunday - Nat reported that The Vipers under 12’s team were getting lots of new blood turning up, apparently from the Lions Club nearby, because, it appears that, this year, the Lions can’t get enough kids coming to their club to sustain either an under 12’s nor an under 8’s team. Given that the bloke who that trains them is a Total Tosser ( the most hated biased referee you will ever have the misfortune to encounter) I’m hardly surprised that a lot of the Lion’s kids have voted with their feet this year. Youth rugby is not the place for adults to try and live out their failed dreams through their kids!! Well Nat, you’ll have to fight for your place now my boy and I expect you to win the Caps that I never did!!!!!! Han still a bit down.
Monday – Die War D Robe of DFS Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz??????? Watched Waking the Dead over night; boy, if you didn’t hate nuns by the end of the first story then there’s something wrong with you. It’s not just the male members of the clergy who indulge in child abuse, evil witches!
Tuesday – Having stayed awake over night on both Sunday and Monday (possibly sat too) and with my new shift starting that night I decided I would do the bed thing as soon as good old JK had done his show. Dragged myself off too bed at 10:30 for a day’s broken sleep. My knee is incredibly painful when I’m in bed and throughout the day I kept waking and sleeping and waking and sleeping and so by the time Deb woke me at 6pm I was totally knackered. Really looking forward to work tonight….NOT!!
Whilst having dinner I heard on the news that
Keith Floyd the first and greatest of the celebrity chefs (cooks as he would have said) had died. It’s a good thing that I’m a sceptic or I would have ascribed the fact that I had watched a documentary about him the previous day to more than co-incidence. It would have been proof of mystical forces at work…..WOW!!!!! Poor old Floyd he’s gone and done the final celebrity no-no, he’s been daft enough to have died on the same day as some one more famous than him (just like poor old Farah Fawcett did in July)Patrick Swayze died today from pancreatic cancer.
Nat has to write a poem about himself as part of his RE (religious education – what an oxymoron) homework. I came up with the following:
I Am Nat; Nat I Am
I Do Enjoy Brockington?
That Nat I Am, That Nat I Am,
Should He Be At Brockington?
I Aced My Sats So Spin You TWATS!!!
I’m loath to suggest that he uses this offering of mine so let’s try and do better shall we? What Nat didn’t made clear, at least at first, was that the poem was limited to five lines; so, that’s
Beowulf and 
Coleridge knocked on the head!So what are the alternatives? The standard form of a limerick, a stanza of five lines, with the first, second and fifth having eight or nine syllables and rhyming with one another, and the third and fourth having five or six and rhyming separately (flash git), utilizes five lines, so lets try that.
There was a young man called Nathaniel,
Often, in error, called Daniel
He’s at a new school that he found kind of cool.
Least he did; till he read the rules manual
And just so she doesn’t feel left out:-
There is a young lady called Hannah
Who in no way resembled a Spanner!
But in a Birmingham School, if she’s a bit of a Tool
They’ll Name her in just such a Manner.
We could try a lanterne poem; Lanterne where the first line has one syllable, the second line two syllables, the third line three syllables, the fourth line four syllables and the fifth line one syllable. I think the following works:-
Nat
Is At
Brock Ing Ton
His New Sch Ool
Cool
To a Skylark (Percy Bysshe Shelley) Shelly’s poem uses a unique five line stanza with a three beat line except for the fifth line, which doubles the number beats of the other lines, and it has a rhyme scheme that is consistently 'ababb.'
Hail to thee, blithe Spirit!
Bird thou never wert,
That from Heaven, or near it,
Pourest thy full heart
In profuse strains of unpremeditated art
To a Zit (more appropriate for prepubescent boys)
Hail to thee, bleak spot!
Cute thou never wert,
That from Blemish or near it,
Pore-est thy pustule heart,
In profuse stains of unpreventable acne!
Well that’s enough verse for tonight because I fear that bad as the foregoing might be any more would only be worse!
It's 04:28 and time for lunch - Chilli and Rice......Nice!!!!!
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