Its Rapture Day Plus A New Bike And A Visit To The Allotment

Well midnight had passed and as mentioned yesterday so far no earthquakes or reports of nude person flying upward. I wasn’t until shortly after midnight that I was advised that in fact the rapture wasn’t due to begin until 6pm and there was still six hours to go before it was that time anywhere in the World. During the remaining hours the Twittersphere continued to be full of people taking the piss but one could feel the tension increase as 6PM in New Zealand approached…not. Nothing happened and then it became apparent that apparently God time is in line with one of the US time zones so the rapture wouldn’t occur until then. You could almost sense the senile old fuckwit back peddling with each passing minute and low and behold as Saturday arrived in the USofA old Harold did a disappearing act leaving his credulous followers to face their disappointment alone. Imagine what must have been going through the minds of those practically stupid followers who had spent their life saving promoting this non-event; people like this man:

What A Wanker

A New York man spent his entire $140,000 life savings advertising his prediction that the world will end May 21, the New York Post reported Friday.

Robert Fitzpatrick, a 60-year-old Staten Island resident, said he spent at least that sum on 1,000 subway-car placards and ads on bus kiosks and subway cars.

They say, "Global Earthquake: The Greatest Ever! Judgment Day May 21, 2011."

In a self-published book, "The Doomsday Code," Fitzpatrick said the Bible offers "proof that cannot be dismissed."

Others had spent their children’s college funds, quit their jobs and spent all their funds thinking (?) they would have no further need of worldly goods…what a complete bunch of fuckwits and how are they going to explain to their kids what they did..



There were lots of piss take photos uploaded on the web and below are thirty of the best.





I couldn’t stay on Twitter all day, much as I may have wanted too, because after Deb had dropped Hannah off at DanceTrain for the morning she, Nat and I were headed to the allotment to do some weeding and planting and sundry other tasks.

We were there for about an hour and a half but on the way we stopped at the raliegh Bicycle shop and used my Bike4Work certificate to buy a new bike…ostensibly for me but in point of fact for Nat. He’s out grown his bike and needed a new one. This cost us about £230 with mud guards, green foam and a stand bought as added extras. These were fitted while we were at the allotment and so on our way home we dropped Nat at the shop to pick up the bike and ride it home. I think I can say, judging by the look on his face when he arrived home, that he liked it…a lot!

We left to pick up Hannah from Brockington and while there saw Josh who was with Turkey Sue and her kids. Seeing Josh, who immediately grabbed Nat for a hug (there are very close) and told Hannah to stop hitting him caused Deb to relate another tale of Paul and Sian’s awful behaviour toward Donna. If she’s not careful that girl is going to drive her Mum to suicide at this rate. Donna is not very stable at he best of times these days and it wouldn’t take much to push her over the edge, she’s come close a few times already!

We stopped at Fosse Park for lunch and while there both Nat and I purchased a Cricket Box (groin protector) in anticipation of tomorrow’s paintballing session.

I spent much of the rest of the day and the early hours on Twitter enjoying the post “Not-Rapture” tweets while adding many of my own. Indeed I didn’t realise what the time was until I glanced at the clock and discovered it was 4:30 on Sunday morning and I had to be up by 8:00 if I was to get to go paintballing. I crawled on to the sofa and fell fast asleep.