Oh My God!!!!! I’ve left my phone at home; this is a first. I never ever forget to take it everywhere with me because if Deb or the Kids forget theirs I really give them a roasting. I’m sure I’m going to receive no end of stick in the morning. Tonight, of course, something will happen at work, something that I will really really really wish I had a photo of and of course I won’t be able to take one. There may be no God (there isn’t) but Sods Law is definitely real!!!!! Y O Y O Y O Y (is not the structure of my Chromosomes – that’s XY XY XY – note to Huge Dennis - Mock the Week) did I not check; I always check; I always check that I’ve got it before I leave the house, always….Honest!
It’s reasonable quite, so far, tonight. There’s a steady stream of calls, mostly water leaks, but it’s nothing like as manic as it was two weeks ago. The Government should pass a law; snow is only allowed to fall if it doesn’t stick for longer than a day. Any annoying persistent snow that outstays its welcome should be subject to the harshest penalties the law can inflict. It’s true; HANGING is too good for these kinds of inconsiderate meteorological and tectonic* phenomena. I’m liberal on most issues but not on this; hang it all and let God sort it out, which of course he can’t because he isn’t real!
*That dodgy earthquake wouldn’t have dared to take them liberties, like those what it did take**, in Haiti if that country had enacted tough laws to discourage such behaviour. We know who’s at fault, it’s not the fault of “the fault” it’s the fault of the legislators! Hanging’s too good for them!!!!!!
** I’m sorry; I seem to have changed into some kind of Mockney wide boy during that sentence. I’ve obviously been listening to too much Lilly Allan, Innit***!
*** Bugger me; it seems that I may have turned Asian and whilst we’re talking about ethnicity did you know that?
“Last night Police announced that they have broken up a major people smuggling ring. It seems that the gang, comprised mainly of Eastern Europeans, may have been hoist on their own petard.
Attempting to help their human cargo, mostly ethnic Chinese, blend in they used the web to identify the four commonest British names. After examining the gang’s records the police said they are now looking for 701 Chinese men; 700 answering to the name John Mohammed Patel-Smith and one other known simply as Dimples!”
And finally on a very very sick note:
What do you call a stack of Haitians
six foot by six foot by six foot?
A Block of Flats
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