Hot n Cold : The Original 1950's Ukrainian Video

Everyone loves Katy Perry's version of Hot n Cold but now researchers, in the Ukraine, have discovered a, previously unseen, film of the original version.

Lost in the Ukrainian Communist party archives for over 50 yrs we can finally see that:

She's GOOD but they were BETTER!!

I Just (nearly) Pooed My Pants

I've just had the weirdest experience, which may have proved that I have a strong heart, sitting her typing when suddenly there was this enormous BANG!!!!!!!!!! against the french window to my left.

At first I thought someone had kicked a football, or something, over the fence; until I looked up and saw that a hawk or falcon (or some smallish bird of prey) had just taken a pigeon in flight and was still following through when, not realising that it was aimed at a wall of glass, smashed into the window.

It took me a few moments to realise that I was looking at two birds. At first it looked like a large pigeon that was shedding a 3rd wing. Astonishingly, the bird dragged the pigeon up the garden and after a few seconds took off and flew away as i was trying to get my camera up and running.

So no photo's I'm afraid unless you'd like to see a garden with a lot of feathers.

I've just looked at google images and the photo that looks most like the bird I saw is below. So maybe it was a hawk.



I'm a sceptic but unbelievably the Now Show, which is playing in the back round, has a feature about urban falcons/hawks hunting pigeons - weird or WHAT!!!
Well actually it's not; it's an example of what happens when you start dealing with large numbers. There may only be 1 in a million chance that a hawk hunting a pigeon will hit my window at approximately the same time that there's a TV programme discussing the subject of hawks hunting pigeons. However, if the programme has an audience of 4 million than what's just happened to me has probably happened to 3 other people as well.

It's like being 1 in a 1,000,000 in China - it means that there are 1,300+ people just like you in China too.
That fact alone actually brings home to you just how many people there are in China!!

Storing Good Pics

I've Installed Ubuntu

Finally, after God knows how many false starts, I've got Ubuntu on the hard drive and by god it's fast. No lose of Internet connection, as we've been experiencing with XP, and as I said it's bloody fast - about 3 secs from clicking a YouTube link to the video starting to play!

However, I can't find one of the hard drives and I had to restore Windows, in safe mode. because I somehow managed to delete one of the root files and couldn't load XP normally.

Restoration appears to have solved that problem. I might find that I've lost some data but given how much better this seems to run and how much more secure it is than Windows that might be a small price to pay.

So Hurray For



UBUNTU

By the way; did I mention that it's
FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE

Ubnutu - It's African for - "Bugger Off Bill Gates I'm not giving you anymore money - Na Na Na Na Na."

SH*T - It's the Shed!!!!!!!!!!

"Now Dear, don't forget, the shed's being delivered to the allotment today, the nice man said he'll get the drivers to call you 30 min's before they arrive so that you can meet them there and would you like a sandwich?". Which is what my wife said to me but not the way she said it - she doesn't call me dear, she isn't Bill Bryson's mother and she never offered to make me a sandwich.

09:50 (CTU ringtone from Hit TV series 24)

"Hello"

"blar blar"

"Sorry, didn't catch what you said. Is that the guy with the shed"?

"Yes mate, we're at the gates (of the allotment) with your shed"

"Sh*t Fu*k Boll*cks etc I thought you were going to call ahead so I could meet you there"

"No one told us mate"

"OK I'll be with you ASAP but I've got to cycle there and I've recently had my hip replaced so I could be 20 mins (Sh*t Sh*t Sh*t Sh*t Sh*t Sh*t Sh*t Sh*t Sh*t) or so".

"Alright mate we'll go get a paper"

Why Oh Why does this always happen, I'd been assured that I'd get a call, Christ, my bike's brakes are virtually non-existent (note to self - take it to the bike shop) so I'm going to have to peddle like hell on a main road, with no real means of rapid deceleration available to me, if I'm to get there anytime soon. Problems mate?

Shedloads mate!


The ride was everything I was afraid it would be, BUT, I got there in 10 Mins and the guys from Garden and Leisure were a really pleasant couple of blokes who unloaded everything and took it all the way to the back of the allotment for me.

Here's what all the fuss is about:-



Unfortunately, it doesn't look like this at the moment, more a pile of bits awaiting assembly.

Have fun kids, you're about to learn you the real meaning of "management supervision"
(note to self - take enough supervising beers)!



After all I've got a serious investment here that needs to be properly nurtured!!

Sunday Morning.

Nat & Deb are at Rugby - it's a tournament day, I'm stuck at Home because Han's in bed poorly with yet another cold that she'll surely share with me. I'd better go and wake her shortly because if she sleeps all day she'll be up all night.

I'm writing this in the firefox browser whilst running Ubuntu Linux instead of Windows XP as an operating system. No problems with the Internet connection as we have been experiencing when using XP so the problem must be with the XP OS and not the computer hardware. This would seem to confirm the experience we've had with Nat's computer which has never lost connection. It looks like I'll eventually have to reinstall XP or switch to Ubuntu full time.

Nat and Deb have just returned home. Apparently the Vipers under 11"s got the grand slam by winning 2 out of 3 of their games. He's full of himself and just interrupted me and messed up my typing because he's a Plonker of the 1st Order!!!

People often ask; Whats the difference between Rugby and Football?

In Rugby it's only the Players who fight each other -




Unlike Football where the Players and the Fans fight each other -



I thought this PM would be a good opportunity to watch Casino Royale again before watching Quantum of Solace, unfortunately, Deb and Han are watching a Biopic of the Osmonds Story. So if there isn't another post here you will know that I have committed suicide!

In The News

Former judge fired up on making pot legal

Major cyber spy network uncovered

Veteran is UK's oldest ever man

Monty Python's 'Holy Hand Grenade' Panics London Street. Couldn't let this one be lost in the Newstream. Vid inc for those who don't know the film.

An East London street was evacuated over the weekend when engineers discovered what they thought was an explosive device under a fire hydrant.

After calling in bomb experts (and perhaps a squad of Trappist monks), it was revealed the would-be booby trap was actually a prop replica of The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch from Monty Python and The Holy Grail (pictured, right).

In the Python classic, King Arthur (the very late Graham Chapman) summons the sacred relics of Brother Maynard (Eric Idle) to destroy the killer rabbit guarding the Cave of Caerbannog (See Video Below).

By some reports, the toy Globus Cruciger or Sovereign's Ball in modern-day London was defused by an eccentric Enchanter some call Tim.

2008 Latest Edition - Did You Know 3.0 - From Meeting in Rome this Year

Have you got 5 minutes you can spare?

Would you like to blow your mind?

Then WATCH This; You will be GobSmacked!!

That Last Night Feeling

I’ve really got to do something during my days off! All I seem to do is sit around waiting for work to start again. I’ve reached the point where I’m not even bothering to watch the programmes I’ve recorded and I’ve been reading the same book now for 3!!!!!!! Weeks, there was a time when I read 3 books a day. I know part of the problem (?) is having kids but really what it boils down to is a habit of laziness. I’ve got used to doing nothing for half of my available time. Must ring John at school and see if there’s more I can do as a governor. Might be a good idea to reread all the first course OU books and see if I want to continue the computing degree, Dunc’s suicide sort of put the brakes on that as I forgot to register for the next course when it happened.

Now the weather’s better I can start taking Monty for long walks and get the sliced up muscles around my new hip back into shape. It’s annoying that I’m still getting pain in this leg when I walk. In addition it’ll be a chance to lose some of the weight I’ve put on since the operation.

I wonder what Nat would say if I went and learned to play all his games behind his back. I’ve deliberately shown no interest as I wanted gaming to be something he was the expert on, but he certainly makes it sound like good fun.

Almost : A Litter Nation

Contemptuous chav cretins cheerfully chucking couches, cars, cushions, ciggies cans, crisps, cartoons, (communal council crap) because being brainless boozing British bozos breaking bottles behind bins before bumbling back behind broken backdoors becomes bespoke behavior meanwhile most mid-level middle management managers manage more manageable mucky messes than those tiresome toffs tossing trifling, tidbits, toward those that they think throw them a living

Twatter

The new micro blogging application for wife beaters everywhere. A chance for partners who are quick of fist and slow of wit to tweet their twats.

Marvel at the powerfully moving prose of the monosyllabic tosser recounting "ow he gava wat 4, the dirty tart an ow she luvs it cos it shaws er who r a real man that she is withs".

Follow;

fukwit,




wannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnker



and the guys as they prove that



their actions ALWAYS speak louder than words**



So Join Twatther,

It's like Twitter

Only 4 C*NTS.

**
Well, it's true,
they do
when you're a brainless twat,
Like you!

DEDICATED TO MY WIFE'S BEST FRIEND'S FORMER PARTNER...PUNCHY HUNK...GONE BUT, UNFORTUNATELY, NOT FORGOTTEN!

Another Night Learning Emergency Assistance's New Procedures.

John asked me if I could do EA tonight by myself and if so could I go and assist the evening EA team at the start of the shift. I had to say, that in all honesty, I wasn't happy to do that. I felt we had had too few jobs the previous time i sat in on EA for me to be confident that I could handle any eventualities.

I JUST DIDN'T FEEL READY!



So I'm shadowing Julie tonight and luckily it's quite busy so this should be the last time I need assistance. Tonight has confirmed my initial impressions that the new system could do with some revision. For example, if an engineer does not call us back to close down a job then you often have to change the job type in order to close it.

WHILST LOOKING FOR THE ABOVE IMAGE I FOUND ONE THAT I HAVE TO INCLUDE HERE, THEREFORE FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER :



Good isn't it?

More phone choices

In a previous post I listed the phones I'm trying to choose between, when my contract comes up for renewal, only to find Sandra Vogal of Trusted Reviews giving an across the board 9 to a new LG phone I've never heard of. The odd thing is, that when you read the actual review, she doesn't seem to wax sufficiently lyrical to justify the marks she's given!

LG Arena KM900
Author Sandra Vogel
Published 20th Mar 2009
Manufacturer LG Electronics
Price From Free - Tariff Dependant



It's certainly a very pretty phone!

Still haven't finished listening to this weeks Economist and as a result I'm building up a bigger and bigger backlog of podcasts. Whichever phone I choose, one of the most important things influencing my final decision will be the amount of long term memory it has and whether this is expandable (N97 has big edge at present-32Gigs built in with potential to add another 32 via High Density card). The 8 Gigs on my N95 are virtually used up. If I want to add addition material and leave sufficient space to take pics and vids I'm having to delete content I've not yet listened too. If the memory is big enough I'll be carrying a mobile library in my pocket, I've got dozens of video's nearly a hundred audio books, hundreds of podcasts, hundreds of pdf books and EVERY episode of Radio 4's "In Our Time" from 2003 to date - Hurray - (Melvyn I love you and I want to breathlessly bear beautiful brainy bouncing bonnie babies by you).

All of the above, and much much more, will be lovingly stored in the memory ready for my delectation and also availble for anyone else who has blue tooth and space.

The large screen size will mean that reading long documents and even complete books will not just be practicable but also "well" enjoyable.

ALL WE NEED NOW IS AN EVER LASTING



(RATHER THAN EVER READY) BATTERY SO WE CAN BE:

EVER BROWSING

EVER READING,

EVER LISTENING

AND EVER WATCHING!

Very very very occasionally we'll also use it to make phone calls and send texts!

A Huge Great Fuckitywuckityfuckitywuck

All the systems normally come back on line at approx 6am. Not today, oh no, IT decided, blessed be their mega brains and limitless wisdom, to run and install some new updates at about this time. Hurray, as the day begins to get really busy and engineers begin to expect to see jobs appearing upon their terminals WE CAN"T DO/USE ANYTHING, you couldn't make it up, no really you couldn't!!!!


Whats Happening

God 'will not give happy ending'

Even my favourite fictional character can talk sense occasionally.

Pope's condom stance sparks row

But, then again!!!!!!!!!!!

Clinton admits US blame on drugs

Doh!!!

Pupils 'should study Twitter'

No No No Stephen Fry's got enough fans already!!

A 3D web moves closer to reality

Has anybody considered what this will do for Internet porn? Well helloooooo BIG boy! As for Monstrous Melons Monthly, the mind boggles!

Man follows sat nav to cliff edge

It's a shame he braked in time really. If a person is going to be that stupid the very least they could do is remove themselves from the gene pool, even if they're only ever paddled in the the shallow end.

How to pick uip girls using your iPhone

.

Wed 03:19 AM - Odd Calls

I've just taken a call from someone returning a message left on their answer machine earlier yesterday. What made her think that the person who had left that message was still at work now!!!

Prior to this I spoke to a lady who was so busy panicking that she wouldn't actually listen to anything I was saying to her. Eventually after 10 minutes I solved her problem, (7 Min's later than I would have if she'd initially listened to what I was trying to say to her) if she didn't want my advice then why on earth did she phone?

It's very strange, we always get these calls at this time of the morning,

(the 3am weirdo's)



what makes it doubly odd is that I thought that this was the time of the day when the body was at it's lowest ebb and that if people were NOT going to be awakened by strange noises then this would be the time when they weren't - if that makes sense.

So what happened on Tuesday?

Home as normal yesterday morning looking forward to bed. Received a call just before I went up the stairs to Bedfordshire that nearly lead to a real mix up. The called asked to speak to my wife, I replied she was at work and could I be of assistance. It wasn't very easy to make out what the guy on the other end was saying but I did make out the word allotment and naturally assumed (made an ass out of you and me) that he was speaking about our existing allotment whereas he was calling about another site that Deb had made enquires of about 10 months ago. As you can imagine this lead to:

an hilarious half an hour of mutual incomprehension that caused us to eventually become locked into a viscous blood feud of cosmic proportions that effected the future of innumerable galaxies and lead to the resolution of all the great metaphysical questions that have plagued humanity since time immemorial

See How We Battled



Well no, not really, in fact we just ended up initially speaking at cross purposes with the caller wondering who and what it was I was referring to when I spoke about out existing plot. So you see, it's not just the people who call me who don't listen, I'm just as guilty!

The Plan : to bed to listen to the rest of the Economist mp3 on my Nokia N95.

The Result : to bed to fall asleep and not listen to the rest of the Economist mp3 on my Nokia N95.

Awoke knowing a lot less about the World economy than I though I would know about it before I went to sleep. Came to the conclusion that the Russian theory of sleep learning is in fact deeply flawed, although ironically, I had learned this fact whilst I was asleep!

When I say I awoke, I had actually woken up on a number of occasions already, in order to go to the loo. It was from this experience that I learned that it's not a good idea to drink

TOO MUCH BEER



before you go to bed. Perhaps, today, I’ll try it after I’ve gone to bed or even have some ready for when I wake up to go to the loo, killing two birds with one stone, and thus ensuring that the lost sleep time has not been wasted.

WHATS HAPPENING

Apple iMac 24in - 2009 Edition - Still the Best PC? Look and Lust Deb, you know you want one!

Terrifying plight of Afghan actress
And they want us to respect their religion of tolerance that persecutes no one and is God's will here on Earth - What a load of Rowlocks.

US boy wins smelly trainer glory
I think you'll find that he only won it because I didn't enter!!

Photos of Alaskan Volcano's Eruption

101 Great Free Sites and Downloads You’ve Probably Never Heard Of

First Night Back

Back to work tonight, made sure I went to bed for 2PM so that I could get a few hours sleep before the kids came home. I carried out some spring cleaning on the computer this am, tidied up the external hard drive and deleted a large number of duplicate files. Then I located a number of audio-book torrents, some for me and some for the kids. In bed I listened to the latest Economist audio edition;

what a BUMMER man.



The recession (depression) is as bad as I thought it was and is getting worse by the day. In addition, their special feature on China, confirmed everything I've been thinking, and Deb's been pooh-poohing, for some years.



China it knows it's in the ascendant and may well take the chance, now afforded it, to extend its power even further, especially in SE Asia.



With any luck, the knock on effect of the down turn will cause such internal unrest that it will constrain what it can do, 20 million and counting have lost their jobs in the last 6-12 months. You can't invade anyone if you're tied up at home. Mind you, saying that, how many countries have started a war in order to quell internal unrest - anyone remember Idi Amin.

Where’s Bird-Flu when you need it, assuming of course we develop a vaccine before it does too much damage in this part of the world?



Joking aside, who’s joking, a massive pandemic only kills a fraction of the population and given the size of the Chinese population even this is unlikely to have any really significantly material long term effects.

Yesterday Was Mother's Day

Yesterday was Mother's Day and I think Deb enjoyed it, she had better after the shopping nightmare I've previously reported. She opened the gifts from the kids before we went to Rugby. Nat got her a pendant and Hannah some earrings. Between them they got her some Thornton's Chocs and a bottle of non-alcoholic wine for lunch (white grape and elderflower - it was beautiful, as are the flowers).



The kids spent the afternoon selflessly checking that the chocolates they had bought for their Mum tasted OK.


Didn't do a great deal else that I can remember, quite a nice day all told.

So sad poor old Jade passed away this morning.

Trying Out Mobile Blogging

Here we are at Vipers RFC ground watching the under 11:s training before they have a go at beating the under 12s. The game was very good, they lost this week, Nat is awesome when he commits but he can still decide that the game has passed him by and as a result stops playing. When he learns to keep running them he'll be fantastic. Just in case someone notes the date is wrong it's because I'm doing this the next day 4 practice. That is I wrote it on my phone at the match but didn't upload it at the time as I wanted to check I had the correct settings.

Jade Goody dies of cervical cancer age 28.

Jade Goody

Jade Cerisa Lorraine Goody (5 June 1981 – 22 March 2009)^[2][3] was anEnglish reality television personality. She came into the public spotlight while appearing on the third series of the then Channel 4 programme Big Brother in 2002, an appearance which led to her own TV programmes and the launch of her own products after her eviction from the show.^[4][5] In 2003, following her appearance in Big Brother, Goody was voted by the public as the fourth worst Briton in Channel 4's 100 Worst Britons (inspired by the BBC series 100 Greatest Britons).

Shopping For Mothers Day - Oh God - Never Again!!!

Never again!

Never take an 11 yr old boy and an 8 yr old girl shopping, for Mothers Day presents, in Salisbury's, on a Friday afternoon it's a nightmare!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! there aren't enough !'s in the world to express how ! an experience that was. I may elaborate later, but most probably won't as I'm actively trying to suppress the memory (which makes writing about it a bit odd!).

Met Deb at Borders,they've changed the layout again, where she'd been having a relaxing coffee, in the Starbucks there,



whilst I had been tearing my hair out and wondering if a court would accepted a plea of diminished responsibility when I finally......



A cup of chocolate for Hannah, a slice of cake for Nat and a peruse of the books for me! Oh the calming powers of a book shop - who needs drugs (well actually I do but that's another matter - see below) when you can lose yourself amongst the shelves.

Home, Pizza, watched Grow your own Drugs (see above) and don't recall what else.
Fell asleep on the Settee about 22:30, I've just woken up.

03:25 - Off To Bed.

What's happened Today?

Google pulls some street images

As if I'm going to spend my time seeing if I can find embarrassing pictures of strangers, for feck sake, see the thing for what it is, a brilliant navigation aid NOT an invasion of privacy!!!!!!!

Major leap for faster computers

I wrote an essay on Quantum Computing summer of 2006, it'll be interesting to see how this pans out, if it does, it'll revolutionise the computer industry! For a deeper understanding see here but only if you are at your ease when reading about nonlinear optical spectroscopy of single excitonic states!

GA and Amit

Well tonight I'm finally going to observe/operate the new GA/Ea system (GA/EA - general or emergency assistance out of hours). Hasmuhk's doing it tonight so at least I'll be learning from someone who knows what he's doing. I'll get to see if the new system as all it's cracked up to be or just another piece of software written by someone who doesn't fully understand the job that it's designed to do (this is the more usual situation - but only because the writers never actually come and observe how the actual job is done in practice as apposed to how the work procedure is described. being done)

Buzz Session 21:31 - 22:33


I honestly can't remember a lot of what we talked about during this buzz session, in part because I've still got this cold, feel pretty shitty and my head was pounding. The other reason being because I was explaining to Hasmkh what I'd done to update his phone firmware. I think we have agreed to go out on May 8 but I'll have to check that. I want to go to the comedy club again, that was the best night out I've had in years but I suspect that we won't so I probably won't go, rephrase, I probably won't be able to AFFORD to go!

Thank Yous - it's that time again, where you have to write nice things about your team mates and enter them into a draw. I hate doing these, almost as much as I hate getting them, they seem so forced, even if they're not. I guess I'm just easily embarrassed by somethings.

Surprise Surprise Amit's Here.



What a nice surprise, the only time I ever get to tell really disgusting jokes is when Amit shows up, we seem to spark off one another (electrician in-joke for those 'in the know'). Welcome back "Stumpy of Devon" you have been sorely missed.

Anyway, GA/EA went fine, the systems a bit fiddly (for the reasons suggested earlier) but is generally workable and with practice will prove to be faster to use that the system it replaced - which is all you can really ask for - so no problems for now.

Fin 07:30 home for 08:00, intended to stay up, what with last night being the last of our 4 days but ended up giving in to tiredness at approx 11;30 and decided to pop to bed for a couple of hours. Awoke 19:45 - Feckit that's another day wasted!

Deb and the kids were at Judo until 21:00, when they returned Han to bed and Nat stayed down until 22:00.

After Deb went to bed I watched Question Time and This Week then came and played here.

What's Happened Today.

Comment

Fritzl sentenced to life

I think the Son of a Bitch got off lightly. Personally, I'd have stuck him in that cellar and let his Daughter, and the children he fathered by her, look after him. See how he likes it when the boot is on the other foot. With a little bit of thought I'm sure they would come up with ways to ensure he suffered as they did. Sometimes, justice isn't enough, occasionally only vengeance will do!

Actress Natasha Richardson dies after a skiing accident.

Helmets may not look very fashionable but as this very sad story unfortunately illustrates there are some very good reasons for why you should wear one!

Google Street View launches in UK

When oh When will Leicester be included? It's not so much that I need Leicester it's rather that I have a phone Street View will work on and I want to try it out.

4 U Nat

A Million Candles and The Man Draw - You Lucky Lucky Boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Smashing Hasmukh's Phone (Not REALLY)

Nothing much happened today (Tuesday), came home, messed about for a couple of hours went to bed fell asleep awoke 6pm ate dinner came to work quite quiet and that's it so far, no need even for punctuation.

However, in the morning I'm going to try and update the firmware on Hasmukh's N95



so that could be fun. I'll let you know what happens.

Managed to get it done - installed Nokia N95 software version 31.0.015.

This software release includes music player playlist enhancements, Nokia Music store application fixes and embedded N-Gage games. Other changes are for Maps 2.0 and Flash lite 3.0 support.

The whole procedure was fraught with tension because, it takes so long, you have to have the sim card in but can't take calls whilst updating (what about incoming) and if it goes wrong - the phone gets turned into a brick.

Started at approx 08.30 fin approx 11.00.

On another phoney note (there's got to be a pun in there somewhere) I'm really getting tied up in knots trying to decide what phone to upgrade to when my contract terminates in September. Obviously, in these times of financial hardship, it's fnally going to come down to price, BUT if price were no object I'm split between the following (5)

1. The Next Model iPhone (rumoured for this summer)

2. The New Nokia N97

3. The Samsung Omnia HD

4. The Nokia N86 8MP

5. The Palm Pre

Mondays Blog is Fair of Face (desperately seeking a title here)

Hooray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was actually able to log on to a computer on my first attempt tonight and I was available to take calls at 20.15 – unfeckin believable.

Deb took the day off today, Hannah’s super cold continues to plague her, as it still does me (sniff sniff). I went to bed at a reasonable time this morning (11.15) and got a decent amount of sleep (whilst continuing to listen to the Economist audio edition – more of which later).

This proved to be a big mistake, Hannah’s super cold took the opportunity to re-establish itself, so that when I awoke I felt really shitty again and still do!

Got up, watched news, shouted at the kids to be quite so I could hear the news, shouted some more for good measure, read some Vogon poetry

(aloud)

See, see the Welsh sky
Marvel at its big putrid green depths.
Tell me, Andy do you Wonder why the crocodile ignores you?
Why its foobly stare makes you feel crapulent. I can tell you;
It is worried by your fucstik facial growth.That looks like A cheese.
What's more, it knowsYour anus potting shed Smells of Scottish Snake Peas.
Everything under the big Welsh sky Asks why, why do you even bother?
You, your only charm is your resemblance to
A month dead dog's mouldy sweet breads.

Though it's hard to beat a Master.



Shouted at myself for shouting and preventing myself from hearing the news. Anyone got any idea what was on the news tonight, me I couldn’t hear a feckin thing, for all the shouting.

Home made chicken stew and dumplings for dinner delious; doesn’t food taste so much better when accompanied by a side order of thick slimy mucus?

Kissed Hannah bye when she went to Cubs, then watched “Was Darwin Wrong?” with Nat, he wasn’t (wrong) by the way but you’ll never convince creationists of this because they’re all feckin retards, as you can see below:



Deb drove me to work, must get bike serviced and see if I can cycle yet, where, as mentioned, astonishingly I was able to log on first go.

Returning to the economist, as promised earlier, the final article concerned the Internet archive, of which I’ve heard but of which I know little.

The Internet Archive was founded by Brewster Kahle in 1996.

My God what a visionary, to have established this organisation, an organisation whose mission statement is:

“Most societies place importance on preserving artefacts of their culture and heritage. Without such artefacts, civilization has no memory and no mechanism to learn from its successes and failures. Our culture now produces more and more artefacts in digital form. The Archive's mission is to help preserve those artefacts and create an Internet library for researchers, historians, and scholars.”

If I understand the foregoing correctly then what they are attempting to do is to preserve everything that has EVER been uploaded to the net and judging by their site they’re doing a pretty good job of it so far. The statement on the site itself says

“The Internet Archive, a 501(c)(3) non-profit, is building a digital library of Internet sites and other cultural artifacts in digital form. Like a paper library, we provide free access to researchers, historians, scholars, and the general public”

It's amazing what some human beings archieve in their lifetimes, puts the rest of us to shame.

Persona Non Grata - Sunday 15/3/2009

Tonight, Mathew, I’m going to be Leper Man:

I have advised me colleagues (as SF & HL used to put it in “a bit of Fry and Laurie”) to keep their distance in case my cold is still infectious, Deb finally came down with it this A.M. I will try my best not to cough in any particular person’s direction, (unless said particular person has managed to really really really piss me off in some way, in which case f**k-um) if I possibly can and I will, unlike Prash, cover my mouth when I sneeze.

Very quite this evening, (mild weather?) didn’t take a call for first 45 minutes.
Quick Buzz (meeting) just B4 10pm nothing of import discussed. We’re quite short staffed tonight, 4 on holiday and one no show (Julie B – I understand her Dad’s ill so her absence is possible related to that) so lets hope it stays slow.

02:51 – My wish came true it’s been dead, taking a call perhaps every 15minutes. I managed to sort out a number of water leaks, over the phone, which saved the engineer a visit and the customer from suffering any additional damage. It astonishes me how ignorant so many people are about where things are or how things work in their own houses. So many assume that I should know where their stopcock / gas-meter / fuse-box is and are genuinely astonished when I explain that it’s their responsibility to know these things! I’m usually able to talk them through the process of locating the required thing however.

snippet – based on a few years worth of calls, it seems that most people under 30 are unable to either wire a plug or change a fuse. However, often times they can tell you how to rectify the software fault that caused the computer crash that caused the power failure in the first place.

Once again I displayed my ignorance of all things celebrity when Carol mentioned that Jada Koren Pinkett had opened a kindergarten. Jada Koren Pinkett [September 18, 1971 (1971-09-18)(age 37) Baltimore, Maryland United States] is the wife of actor Will Smith and a well known actress in her own right. I have no recollection of ever, ever, ever having heard of her - EVER!

Almost forgot, Gail brought in home made rock cakes tonight and they were very Moorish. Well done Gail, more please.

I have kept trying to start reading John Harrison’s book, Vegetable Growing – month by month. Each time I start I am distracted by something, for example his allotment website which he mentions in the very first line of the introduction. Not the best idea, I would suggest, if you are trying to get people to buy your book, if I’d come across it and noticed the web address I would used that resource and not bought the book (please note – Deb bought this book on-line).

04:15 – My phone alarm, reminding me that Hannah has Cubs, went off 12 hours early and nearly gave me a coronary. Time for lunch, Tomato and Mozzarella pasta bake, catch you la8r respected reader.

Oh God, my stomach feels so full, and boated, I’ve got to lose weight,



I’d take long walks if both my legs weren’t so painful. I don’t understand why the calf muscles in my right leg are still so tender. By now I would have thought they would be back to normal.

Listening to the Economist Audio edition, which I downloaded as a torrent, and I’m enjoying it immensely. I’ll have to see if the person who seeded the torrent does this for every issue. The only problem with this idea is that it means I’ll have even less time to listen to the Podcasts I already subscribe to. I’m currently listening to an article about Congo and Rwanda working together to defeat the rebel armies (FDLR & LRA) that plague them both.

Ran out of black pens on my return from lunch so had to finally salvage what I could from my broken down set of draws. Grabbed everything that looked like it would write plus a file full of desk aids. Removed and destroyed out of date desk aids will restock file tonight.

rugby

At rugby my team and I gave the under 12 a small can of arse whopping we beat them 3-2. But before this we practiced rooks and malls (we really needed to do this) but I didn’t score a try. When I got home I watched the gadget show. They had the best nerf gun ever,  it fires 3 rounds a second and it has a 25 round belt. On full auto it can fire this belt in 8 seconds,  it is tripod mounted for stability and has an ammo box attatched.

Like This

and it works like this

 

Sunday

Back to work tonight, playing on the computer at the moment whilst listening to BBC Country File, which is on in the back round, opps just b3ecome the Politics Show (Q. How can you tell when a politician's lying? His lips move!)

I've been trying to download the Mitchell & Webb/Armstrong & Miller Comic relief R.A.F. sketch from YouTube but there's some problem with Zamzar recognizing the file (on the bright side I have converted all the RAF sketches to iPod mode for transfer to my phone). I'll try again another time. They are gut wrenchingly funny, 2 Battle of Britain pilots talking like modern day kids, or something.

Saturday 17th March

A late night last night as Nat & Hannah stayed up to watch Red Nose Day Comic Relief.  We dropped Hannah off at ballet and then the three of us went to the allotment.

It was a lovely sunny day  - Meyricks first time up there this year.  

The cabbages we planted have made a good dinner for something - good job we have some sprouting brocolli at home in the greenhouse, its about an inch high at the moment, to replace them with.

Nat raked what we dug over a couple of weeks ago and then planted rows of onions - still got two bags left so hopefully Hannah and I will plant them tomorrow after rugby.

Meyrick and I just dug -- couch grass is hard work.  Then we moved 6 slabs up to the top to make a base for the shed which I hope to order in a few weeks.

At the top of the allotment we have quite a few trees that are all coming into bud, along with some black current bushed, a gooseberry bush and strawberries.  Its all very overgrown so I think this will be next years digging project.

Wayne on the next plot kindly gave us some parnips and some handy hints on how to grow them - can't wait to try as we all love roast parsnips.

At home, we roasted the parsnips, along with a few other roots, but unfortunately they were a little burned. Still tasted good and next time we won’t put them in for quite so long. Saw one of the best things from |Comic Relief later –[ Lets Dance for Comic Relief. This was won by Robert Webb (of Mitchell & Webb) who did an incredible interpretation of Flash Dance. See below:



 

Comic Relief Day

So it's Comic Relief Day (AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!! - I remember when it first started, for the first 10 yrs, I actually bought most of the products, including, RED NOSES FOR OUR CARS – I never went this far ) and I feel utterly cynical towards it all, I have become telethon Scrooge. I think it's because I conflate it with BBC Children in Need (CIN) which never seems to go away, no sooner over than starting again - there is such a thing as superficial self-righteous celebrity fatigue ! 

They say time goes faster as you get older and so it seems. I've written nothing since our visit to London last Saturday (if you’re not already a committed diarist just remembering to blog takes some remembering and I seem to keep forgetting to remember, something I must remember to stop doing) and the days seemed to have whizzed by, seemingly blending seamlessly one into another.

Despite what I said in the above paragraph, I am looking forward to watching CR tonight and I’m sure the kids will have had good time raising money at School today. The sketches are funny and it is a little less up its own arse than is CIN (cin good bit). 

In addition to which it is strangely fascinating to watch all those daring young 80’s comics, who like me are now middle-aged, trying to be down/get down with the yuff of today (whichever of those is the correct expression)!

Some 2008 Scribbles Transferred From From Opera

Tomorrow We're Off on Our Holidays
Friday, 8. February 2008, 15:23:25

Finally, I'm going back to Wales. Seven years after the death of my Dad, and, since then, virtually all the rest of my family, I'm going back to the place where I spent the first 19 (sometimes happy often not) years of my life. I'm looking forward to seeing Cardiff, which is where we will be staying, all the changes all the Doctor Who and Torchwood locations. I used to like Cardiff it was my place of escape, every month or so, on a Saturday, I'd take the pocket money and Birthday money and Christmas money I'd saved (yes once I could save money - it's so long ago it all seems like a dream) and take the train down the valley to the capital. Can you imagine what it was like to leave a tiny parochial Welsh mining village of a few thousand inhabitants and travel alone down to the BIG city? At one point I think I knew the location of very book shop within the city centre, second-hand and all, because this was what I would do when I got there, I would walk from bookshop to bookshop stocking up until the next visit - my personal indicator of inflation during the 1970's was the changes in the price of books from 25p a paperback up to £1.95. I can close my eyes even now and still see the layouts of the various shops even though I can’t remember some of their names. I can still close my eyes and BE THERE even now!! We're off tomorrow morning, first, Monty to the kennel, and then away we go. I'm not quite sure what we are going to do about returning to Abertysswg and Rhymney because there's no-one left there to stay with so it'll have to be a day trip. The only problem is that there are a lot of places I want to show to the kids that we might not have time to see. Whether we'll have time to travel up twice is moot, we're only there for a week and there are lots of other places Deb wants to visit.

Home
Sunday, 9. March 2008, 02:19:07

Came back from Wales a few weeks ago now but I haven't got the hang of the blogging habit yet so this is only my second post. Never kept a diaryb4 (a big regret) so it's not programmed into me in the way it is to say Tony Benn.

Wales was great, the place seems to have changed greatly since I lived there or even since I last visited. The seems to be a greater self confidence, perhaps devolution really was a good idea!!

Cardiff is a revelation especially the docks where the Welsh Assemble is located (so is TORCHWOOD only it's underneath). Talking of TORCHWOOD everone seems every proud of, both it and Doctor Who - as they should, well done BBC Wales - you must be laughing all the way to the bank!

It's Been a Year! 
Tuesday, 10. February 2009, 13:24:12

Just realised that it's been 1 whole year since I've written anything here! What year it's been:- Aint got one of the hips I started the year with. Thought 1 nite I was having a heart attack. And now I've got 2 get my shoulder looked at.

To The Science Museum with 600 Cubs and Beavers (Oh God - The Noise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

So off we went to visit the Science Museum in the company of 600 Beavers and Cubs from across the UK. We arrived at the Shakespeare Pub car park at approx 7.30a.m. We were picked up by the coach at around 7.55a.m.

Trip down uneventful other than an unnecessary (in my opinion) stop at a motorway service station for 45m which took up time that could have been better spent at the SM.

Arrived Cromwell Road (outside The Natural History Museum : photo) approx 10.45 and walked around the corner on to Exhibition Road where the entrance to the SM is located (TNHM & SM adjoin one another). Got a lead on the others and made it to the entrance before we were swamped by baby scouts - Here Are The Photos We Took.
Our visit was very circumscribed by the fact that we had booked two IMAX shows (imax) and had to work round the performance times. The first was scheduled to start at 11:55 so by the time we were actually in the building we had barely 40Min's to look round before we had to make our way to the theatre. In effect this meant we walked the length of the ground floor (the IMAX cinema is at the far end) took in the sights and spent some time looking at the Future Foods exhibit and the sliced up digitized bodies exhibition. Then we queued for the first film, which was:

Fly Me to the Moon 3D
Duration: 45 minutes

In 1969 three astronauts dared to go where no man had gone before; the moon. Today, the Science Museum presents Fly Me to the Moon 3D, an animated IMAX film that will take you back to that historic moment.
With truly immersive 3D animation you will be transported deep into the action to become part of this amazing story.
Join three tween-aged flies as they sneak on board the Apollo 11 mission for an incredible space adventure. Fly Me to the Moon 3D will introduce you to space exploration and the momentous occasion when the world was united for man’s first steps on the Moon.
The Science Museum is proud to have on display the real Apollo 10 command module and a full size replica of ‘Eagle’ - the Lander that took astronauts Armstrong and Aldrin to the Moon in 1969. In our Exploring Space gallery you can also find out more about how we are able to live in space – to breathe, to eat, to drink and… to go to the toilet.
So get ready to blast off to the moon and explore space yourself at the Science Museum!

It was absolutely fantastic, the 3D effects were even better than those we had seen in Florida in 2006. The screen itself was the height of 4 London Double Decker Buses!!! I had been a little apprehensive, as I’d wanted to see Space Station 3D which was live action rather than animation, but I wasn’t at all disappointed. I’d recommend the IMAX to anyone; you have to experience it to believe it.

We exited onto the 2nd floor and Hannah, Nat and I immediately queued to ride the Astro Canyon Roller Coaster simulator, Deb decided she’s rather talk to Arkala and other sundry scouting ladies. Great ride, remembered it from when we came to London for a few days with Nat, as a treat, for his 6th birthday in 2003. Hannah loved it this time round which was great.

After this we meandered through the exhibits on that floor until we reached:-

Dan Dare & the Birth of Hi-tech Britain

Dan Dare’s rocket fleet roars high over Venus to trounce Dare's arch foe – the power-mad Mekon (WANTED). Meanwhile, back on Earth, another extraordinary future is unfolding – one which laid the foundation for Britain’s hi-tech consumer society.

After 1945, though war-weary and broke, Britain found huge pride in wartime advances such as radar, penicillin and the jet engine.

Discoveries like these were now tipped to kick-start world-beating industries, bring prosperity and bankroll the emerging welfare state.

In an age before globalisation, products from rockets to radios sprang from local roots. Together they reveal a fascinating ‘lost world’ of British design and invention – a glimpse of a time when:

the TV/Radio in the corner was

a Murphy, (TV 50's Style & Advert)

not a Sony, (TV 2009 Style).

This exciting new temporary exhibition explores the role played by technology in creating post-war Britain.
It was quite interesting but you really would have needed half a day to appreciate it properly. It didn’t take up a lot of room but there were a lot of exhibits. Interestingly, you could phone a special number on your mobile and get an audio tour of the exhibition that way.

Imax Film 2

After a brief trip down to the basement, to see how we used to live and some seriously out of date domestic appliances, we once more made our way up to the top of the building, my poor busted hip, to see the next IMAX film, which was:-

Deep Sea 3D

Sea life in a whole new way! Dive into the magical 3D underwater adventure, Deep Sea 3D, and be transported below the ocean surface to swim alongside some of the planet's most unique, colourful and fascinating creatures. With startling 3D effects you can float with fried-egg jellyfish, reach out to touch green sea turtles and dodge the tentacles of a giant Pacific octopus without ever getting wet!
Not only is Deep Sea 3D directed by world-renowned underwater cinematographer Howard Hall and accompanied by an original score from Danny Elfman, but it is also narrated by two of Hollywood's hottest stars, Johnny Depp and Kate Winslet!

This wasn’t an animation and it was, as a result, even more impressive than the first film. Apart from the incredible 3D effects you kept wondering how on earth they had managed to film some of the scenes at all.

A clip can be seen here

After leaving the last IMAX film we got off the staircase at floor 2 to have a look at some of the exhibits. Don’t know what was being exhibited because we lost Nat. After trying to phone him and getting no reply we eventually found him and discovered that his mobile (maybe he’s remember this one) was safely on the coach – HE IS his Mother’s Son – she leaves mobiles at home so they’ll be safe!!!!!!!

It was approaching 4:00 pm by now so we decided to walk to the gift shop then make our way back to the pick up point via the Natural History Museum. We went in through the entrance next to the Science museum and walked through to the main hall. It was as spectacular as I remember from our last two visits. It really is a true National Treasure (a term used to describe virtually every celeb over 40 and thrown into a conversation almost as often as ‘iconic’) and it’s a shame that the majority of visitors were people for whom English did not appear to be a first language, I suppose it’s like the Eiffel Tower, visited by everyone in Paris except the Parisians, anyway here’s a selection of photo’s

Left NHM and waited outside for our coach. Wasn’t long in coming and eventually off we went. I spent quite a lot of the time on our way out chatting with one of the female scout leaders for another pack who pointed out interesting places as we passed them.

About an hour later we stop for a loo and coffee break at a service station where Nat went and showed how generous he can be on occasion. We went to the Costa Coffee  shop where Nat bought a large Americano for him and me and a Cappuccino for his Mum, which she shared with Han.

Dropped off at the Shakespeare  at 7:29pm. Deb decided we were going to have a Chinese take away because she was too lazy to cook. I heroically pointed out that during a time of economic downturn it would be better that we cooked for ourselves and gave the money saved to help feed the homeless. Selfish to the end, she ignored my remarks and did as she would. Evil  that’s her that is! Got home and watched Deb eat whilst her head spun.

Science Museum Photos

Oh God I've Forgotten!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can't think of anything I (we) did on Friday!

Oh wait a minute, wrote to Brian Dunning of Skeptiod.com asking whether prize of free tickets to the Skeptiod 150 Episode meeting in California include airfares from the UK. Unfortunately not, but at least we're now friends on Facebook.

Looking forward to visiting the Science Museum in London - Map (with Cubs and Beavers -should be a nice quite day) tomorrow. We've booked tickets to see 2 films at the IMAX theatre, which is somewhere I've always wanted to visit. The effects are supposed to be incredible. 

Not Alot 2 Say 2 Day

Done little today, too knackered to take Monty out after the run round he gave me yesterday. My legs are so so so painful. Spent the day at Home, can't remember doing anything in particular, well, except taking the kids to judo and not remembering it was cancelled this week until we got there!

Mrs Scout Fire - Nat

Last night I went to scouts and we made fires not very good ones no surprises there . Then we branded our scout belts. I also formed a renegade patrol we had our own fire and a bench .  

Vipers R.F.C. Training with the Boys!!! - Hannah

It was very muddy on the rugby pitch . Nat gave me a piggy back on the way back to the car. We got in to the car and took Nat to scouts we dropped him off then we went home.

Many Happy 4th of March's of the Day

Just playing with the new Opera browser and setting up some toolbar short cuts. I do like this latest version of Opera but I think the truth is I’m just a browser slut; I’m with which ever one will satisfy me most! For a long time I was a Firefox, then I had to roam with Chrome before I went wild for awhile on Safari but now, that's all in the past, now I just long for long long nights at the Opera.

Jeremy Kyle is on in back round, W(here) TF do they breed these morons;  One couple - he knew her 2 days B4 he got her name tattooed on him, she dumps him for her cousin,  Previous couple - which one doesn't take drugs in front of the kids!  Haven't looked at the screen yet as I'm currently playing guess the number of piercings! This is their baby  This is Mum  and finally Dad.

Every sperm is definitely not sacred, more wanking (see here for How To Guide) amongst this shower of Sh*t would have saved everyone concerned a lot of grief!

Going to take Monty out for a walk in a little while and catch up on a few podcasts, I've got such a backlog since I stopped cycling because of my hips, and I need some fresh air. There’s one good thing about listening to J K, you have to stop feeling sorry for yourself when you compare your life to those of his guests.

Must be out of the house B4 This Morning starts as I’m afraid I’m getting to the point where I can’t bear to hear anymore about Jade Goody, not because I’m bored or cynical but simply because it’s just so sad. Think, how many young women have gone through t the same thing because they were too embarrassed to have a smear test done – I can still remember going, to the student health centre, with Deb for her first smear when we were students.

Well, enough for now, just time enough for a Sh*t then Mont and I are off for a walk over the fields to the canal.

Just back from our walk, at first, all went well but you can rely on Monty to Fu*k it up big time somewhere along the line! At first, off the lead, he was great, he ran all over the field and came back whenever he was called. He was even very good on his lead when we went to the canaland walked to the lock cottage. On on our way back things were very different, once more I removed his lead when we reached the field, at which point he took off after a stranger on the far side of it, and it's a fu*king great big field about 5 football fields long, and proceeded to follow him toward Asda. I gave chase, a difficult and not too much fun thing to do when your trying to break in your new hip – for some reason it made my boot hurt?. Thank god (all praise to his non-existence) the person he was following finally turned and brought him back. I would never have caught him and we would have needed a new dog. Actually, we might still need a new dog cos I still haven’t decided whether or not I’m going to kill the little bast*rd yet!

School Reports

Went to Millfield this PM to catch up with the kid's teachers and find out how they are doing. 

First off we saw Miss Hewitt who explained that Nat was doing very well and was a joy to teach but that he still had problems with the presentation of his work. If not for this problem she had no doubts what so ever that he would have archived 5's in all his SAT'S unfortunately, because of this, she expects him to only get a 5 in science and high 4's in the other exams. 

He and the other Geeks are happy to be perceived in this way and appear to thrive on their reputation for geekiness.  Apparently his sense of humour is blossoming, but there's no sign of this at home where he still remains a complete arsehole.

Secondly, we saw Miss Dunn, Hannah's teacher, and Miss Gordon the P.G.C.E. trainee who is doing her on site training there. We chatted with Miss G whilst waiting for Miss Dunn to arrive.  Miss G was very fulsome in her praise of Hannah, who she said was, very bright and able and who was also very supportive of the other pupils in her class.

Miss Dunn advised that Hannah was coping well and had little difficult with understanding but that she to suffered from the same problem as Nat, which was, that she was in too much of a hurry to get her thoughts down on paper and that as a result her presentation suffered and caused her to make simple unnecessary errors. She said she would be focusing on this with Hannah in the coming term.

World Book Day - Hannah

It is world book day and we can dress up as a literary character . I am going as Carmen.

After School Report:

 When we went to the studio to buy books I had no money, but, Hollie had £2.00 leftover which shegave me.

So I bought 2 books, one on ancient Rome and the other was a double story book that I bought for Nat. 

Miss Gordon, the P.G.C.E. trainee teacher thought my costume was lovely, she also told Mummy and Daddy, later on, about how good I was in class.

Last Night Tonight and More Cake 4 Me

Good old Julie, she's brought in 2 more cakes tonight (your only 50 once), one is a beautiful Black Forrest gateaux and the other is an equally scrumptious Victoria Sandwich. I've had my slice of BF and looking forward to some VS. I deserve it too! I've been for Physio this evening b4 work and whilst I know it's for my own good, in the long run, my f**king arm wasn't hurting B4 we started twisting it!

It’s amazing how you move thought the Internet; I had started looking at sites giving away free audio books and somehow ended up on Amazon looking at a trilogy of Vampire Books I’d never heard of. Old copies (1994) are going for up to £90 Hardback £50 Paperback (obviously very much in demand) but Out Of Print – W.T.F. Checked out USA Amazon, available at 10% of the price, might do some buying and selling here. The books were;

Anno Dracula - Kim Newman

Bloody Red Baron - Kim Newman

Dracula-ChaChaCha - Kim Newman

They get top reviews;

they’re extortionately expensive 2nd hand;

SO (I SAY AGAIN) WHY THE F**K ARE THEY OUT OF PRINT?

Just had the second cake - Yum Yum - very nice indeed. Could get used to this, Jane's birthday next!

By the way, it's actually Julie's birthday today - 3/3/9.

Well another 4 days at BGS draws to a close, we've certainly eaten more cake and curry than usual!

We're Having A Party (I Baggzy the Burger).

Today’s Joke

Upper Class British Fight “ I say might one ask whom it is one is twatting you excremental maternal fornicator"

Julie W is 50 tomorrow, Monday 2/3/09, but is having the day off in order to celebrate with her family. Because of this tonight, we've all brought in munchies and such, we're having a bit of a party. I've brought in some savoury chips and drips plus some lemonade (bit iffy about bringing beer).
No sign of Prashant or Carol, I think they are both on holiday tonight

Gave pen drive to Dawn with copies of audio books for her daughter Sam, hope she likes the, selection (Bryson, Dawkin and Hawkins - she's into science apparently).


The Call Centre fairly quite, so far, this evening but will it stay that way? I did manuals last night so hopefully I'll have a quite night tonight taking calls. That's all for now.
Had a meeting 9.45, came back 10.15 to 23 calls in queue - bad idea!
Ash's doing manuals tonight, Julie B doing EA (GA as was) and training Jane.

Well we ate, GOD am I full, 2 huge helpings of bharats home made curry and rice with killer popadoms plus birthday cake. 'This is why you're FAT' I can hear the Wife say! I've been given all the left over’s for the kids and Monty. I hope I'm not the one that has to clear his shits up from garden if he finishes off that curry, shades of the end of E.T. with all the people in protective suits.