Wednesday 24 February 2010

It'll be a Cole Day in Hell - Cole Tweets plus 1 Tiger One

Dickey Branston says that now there's no longer a place for Ashley on the Maiden Pacific star ship due to launch this evening.

We want wholesome family entertainment about fucking, not boring reports on the imminent extinction of our species, said same!

This is just ANOTHER example of the BBC's left wing bias said a spokesperson for National Viewers' and Listeners' Association.

The BBC received 1000's of complaints for downgrading the Cole split to report on tomorrow's total extinction asteroid impact!

Brave Cheryl tries sticking it out but fails miserably, no way girlfriend, says Ashley, I'm the Daddy B cos I can Stick It In!

It's a misunderstanding, says Ashley, I thought she was in Girls Allowed and so I behaved in, I thought, an appropriate manner

What the Coles are splitting up? Me, I couldn't give a flying fuck says rational person who's never read Hell O magazine.

It's enough to make you question your faith in the almighty, says Dawkins, on hearing the shocking news about the Cole split.

I'm shocked says Hannibal Lecter on hearing of the Cole breakup. Some behaviours R beyond the pale and cannot be countenanced.

New Death Stars first target will be Ashley Cole says Darth Vader, at a time like this galactic conquest must take a back seat

Obama says, Homeland Security search 4 Bin Laden 2B downgraded to allow concentration of resources on Cole split investigation

Bear friend claims that Tigger's Wood allowed him to come from behind and produce an out of this world game winning hole in one

Haitians raise money to buy a present 4 Cheryl, says spokesperson Its about priorities at this time she needs all our support.

Buddhist immolates himself note says it's a protest against Ashley's unforgivable behaviour and a gesture of support 4 Cheryl!

U.N. shelves climate debate after emergency motion by the People's Republic demands immediate investigation into Cole breakup!

Buddhist Monk immolates himself leaves note saying it's a protest against Ashley's unforgivable behaviour and a gesture of support 4 Cheryl!

Caring Haitians raise money to buy a present 4 Cheryl; says a spokesperson, It's about priorities at a time like this she needs our support!

Brave Cheryl Cole tries sticking it out but fails miserably, no way girlfriend, says Ashley, I'm the Daddy only I can Stick It In Boom Boom!

Cheryl's ending pussy time for Ashley. Will it impair local economic development in and around the Cape. We go behind the scenes 2 find out.

Cheryl's to divorce 2 timing love cheat husband footballer Ashley. Good 4U girlfriend but YTF**k is it front page news on the BBC’s website?

News at Ten live in SA; Shelly Tittle-McTattle asks Mandela how the Cole split effects him and assess the wider repercussions for the region

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