Tuesday 2 February 2010

Monday 1/2/10 - We're Off To Ildbory , Moon, Dinosaur, Nuts, Jimjams, etc.

MDJ just announced that the Leicester site will be closed on Saturday, our 1st day back, and that we?re all travelling to the Ildbory site for the night. It means we have to be at work by 8pm in order to allow enough time to get there and, of course, that means, because we?ll still finish at our normal time, that we?ll be late home too; hurray overtime! Anyway, why be bothered, when actually the Ildbory centre is an extremely nice place? There?s a big plant in the main concourse area and our team hasn?t been there for a couple of years. I?m looking forward to working there; it?ll be a pleasant change. The first time we were that there was a MAJOR falling out between two members of the team. Unfortunately I was at lunch when it all kicked off and missed everything?..shame! This time I think I?ll take along a couple of pairs of boxing gloves; that?ll make the night go with a Bang and a Crash and a Thump!

So President Obama has announced that he?s abandoned the USA?s planed return to the Moon. That means that now it?s between the Chinese or the Indians. Of course, from a culinary point of view, it?s irrelevant which of them gets there first; either way, by the time that the EU finally gets it?s act together and joins the party, it?s certain there?ll be a shop and a decent take-away on every crater corner! Mind you; no matter how good the food there is, lets us hope that not too many are drawn to the dark side!

We thought they were a plague visited only on us human beings but scientists today prove that dinosaur Sinosauropteryx was in fact A GINGER!

Acorns, Almonds, Brazils, Cashews, Colocynths, Filberts, Pistachios, a bunch of tough nuts or not all they?re cracked up to be? You decide!

Supermarket Jim Jam Ban Tesco today said customers should wear appropriate footwear and no nightwear. What next? ?F**k off Jesus no sandals?

Future yPads will come with wings; so letting all you babes swim, dance and get on with life generally, with no fear of lady embarrassments.

Climate sceptics revealed the extent of their rational faculties when today they insisted God am real + does lives onna aunty-gravity cloud.

A close friend once revealed to me that his Mother had made him a homosexual; I wondered, if I gave her the wool, would she make me one too?

When I started a new job, after I fetched a bucket of steam, I was sent for two long weights and a left handed hammer. They taking the piss?

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