Sunday, Introduction, Hayle, Pasties, Birds, Hell's Mouth, Portreath, Soaking Kids, Swimming, Comedian, Rattler Cyder

We woke refreshed, bright eyed and bushy tailed and ready to take on anything this strange isolated backwater (yeah, backwater, I believe Cornwall is the UK’s second biggest tourist destination after the Lake District) had to throw at us…why am I making this sound more like a fight than a holiday? Because I can…why, do you want make something of it reader, you looking at my funny mate?


We headed off to main reception; no I don’t know why I didn’t get any photos of this area either. The main restaurant was situated upstairs overlooking the pool and we grabbed a table, and some free pastries, at the back of the room and waited for things to get started. Deb got chatting to a lady from Ebba Vale, in Wales, who’d heard my Welsh accent and who had used this as an excuse to strike up a conversation with her until a shortly while later the resident comedian, a chap named Paul MaGahan who was to be that night’s “turn”, gave an amusing and rather useful talk about the area and the various attractions. His advice, especially about where and where not to drive to, was to prove very useful during the coming days.

With the intro talk over we decided to explore the surrounding area but without plans to go anywhere in particular. Deb was concerned that now it was out of season many places would be closed on a Sunday and so today would be about driving around and getting a feel for the place. First we headed for Hayle, which is, or so it claims, the “Pastie Capital” of Cornwall, boasting no less than SIX separate Cornish Pastie Shops.

Being the discerning consumers we are we, of course, stopped a the very first one we came across which turned out to be “Philps Pasty Bakery, East Quay”.

For a Sunday morning this little shop was amazingly busy and eventually after a few minutes queueing we acquired some “medium” pasties for Nat, Deb and Me and a couple of sausage rolls for Hannah who had, as usual (because they had meat in them), already decided she didn’t like pasties. I’m sad to say that, as big as these pasties were, I found them to be rather disappointing; they appeared to be comprised of a mass of, slightly undercooked, shredded potato which hid the occasional seam of beef. Anyway, enough of my culinary complaints, we seated ourselves over looking Quay to eat and were soon surrounded by birds of all kinds (mainly huge gulls and hooded crows). Utterly unafraid of people these pesky scavengers scurried around our feet pecking at dropped pastry crumbs. When we actually threw down small pieces for them we were then entertained by an impromptu display of Darwin’s theory of the “survival of the fittest” as the birds competed over these scraps.

Pasties finally consumed we once again set off to explore. We eventually found ourselves at Hell’s Mouth which is a dramatic cliff formation next to the road between Portreath Bay and Gwithian Beach in north Cornwall. The land is owned and managed by the National Trust and Hells Mouth lies on the Southwest Coast Path. Nearby is a car park and cafe. The views from here along the North Cornish coastline were fantastic. Hells Mouth lies on a popular 3.7 mile coastal walk which stretches from Godrevy Navax Point at one end to Basset's Cove at the other. Below I’ve embedded the photographs we took of this spectacular location.



We parked next to the café and walked up to the cliffs. Even here, with an unimpeded view over the Celtic Sea we were still unable to get a GPS fix on either my phone or Nat’s. I think the local “Cyder Witches” are interfering with the signals…spooky! Afterwards the kids each had an ice-cream whilst I admired the sovereign ring knuckledusters being worn by one of the local bikers who was parked there. There seem to be an amazing number of bikers in Cornwall! Back in the car we continued to explore until we ended up in Portreath. We parked up, there was another large group of bikers in the car park, and went down onto the beach. The kids decided they’d like to paddle in the sea and as you’ll see from the photos below they both ended up completely soaked. Lacking a change of clothing, you don’t anticipate the need in October; we got them stripped down and into the car. Nat wasn’t happy disrobing in public but he wasn’t getting into the car otherwise. In the end the car door and a strategically held coat protected his modesty. Hannah’s still young enough not to be too bothered.


It was late afternoon before we got back to Clowance; we’d stopped off at Morrison’s to buy some beer (a vain hope as it seems that they don’t stock cheap beer or cider the swine’s). By the time the kids had changed it was too late to go wandering again so we settled in for the day. A little later we all went for a swim and I had a sauna, no kids allowed. Afterward Nat and I decided we’d go to the bar to see if the comedian was funny than he’d been that morning. Deb and Hannah decide not to come with us. The chap was fairly amusing but the biggest surprise was his voice. He had a very powerful voice and could mimic songs excellently. When he did a cover version of a popular hit it sounded just like the original version. Why don’t people like him ever appear on show like the X-Factor? A very pleasant discover, although that can’t be said for the price, was Rattler (a draft local cider) which was very nice indeed. Even Nat, who professes that he’s not going to drink when he’s bigger, had a sip and expressed his approved. Rattler is made by Healey’s and it was their Cyder Farm that we visited later in the week. I nearly won a drink from the comedian when the bar staff told me the answer to a question he’d set the audience when I was in the loo but unfortunately he gave the answer before I had a chance to speak. About 23:00 everything wound up and Nat and I went back to the Coach House and to bed. All in all it had been a great day.