As I’ve just informed my massive Twitter audience (99 followers Oh Mr Hundred where are you in my time of need) it’s time to get the Bones chronicles up to date. Here goes entry 732: So, what you do today Bonesie? Sod all, the end! That was painless unfortunately I’m not allowed to do that or Nat would use the same strategy. So as boring as my day has been, slept most of it as I had last night shift tonight, I’ve got to come up with at least a couple of hundred words. Hence, the reason for this blog’s sub-title:- Bollocks, Lies and Outrageous Garbage.
Not a lot to say about my bollocks, last time I went for a number one they appeared to still be where I last left them so that’s OK. My “gentleman” continues to be 13 inches when soft growing to a respectable 26 inches when partially erect. OK that’s the lies out of the way. Nothing left to do now but write the garbage.
I’m thinking of becoming a “Born Again” cannibal, yes that’s correct I’m joining the Church of Rome and taking Holy Communion. It’ll be just in time for the visit of His Holymess Bendidic LXIX which starts this Thursday. I along with the rest of the UK population will be able to rejoice as we welcome this paedophile protecting Vicar of Christ to our fair shores. Hail Hail we’ll all be shouting, no doubt bringing back, to him, the happy memories of his childhood. I think that he should be entertained by musical child prodigies particularly those who excel on the violin because I understand he’s been involved with kiddie fiddling for quite a number of years now.
Oh, Bonsie, leave the poor old Pope alone what’s he ever done to you. Nothing, I reply, but that’s only because my parents didn’t send me to a Catholic school…Boom, Boom or perhaps bang, bang depending on the priest!
I’ve been on Twitter for much of the time this evening after things quietened down. It helps me stay away by making me concentrate on writing 140 characters. I think I must have a degree of OCD because I spend minutes at a time on each tweet to ensure that everyone is exactly 140 characters long. I wonder if anyone’s noticed. I’m as compulsive with this thing too. I’m always trying to hit exactly so many words, shit I just passed four hundred where I could have stopped now I’ll have to press on to five hundred. Actually it’s not that bad because something quite important seems to have happened on Twitter tonight. A well-known Christian fundamentalist author and twitterer @JoeCienkowski appears to have been caught out sending a link to pornography to an underage kid. If this is the case then his ass is grass because people everywhere have copied the tweet making it impossible for him to delete it from the web. Stones and glass houses Joe, if you are going to tell everyone that yours is indeed the true word of God you best stir clear of any accusations of kiddie fiddling. After all Joe, you are a protestant you don’t have the Church of Roman there to cover your arse like they cover the arses of those priests that covert the arses of others.
1. It seems that things have turned serious here and I’m off the garbage. When it comes to someone like our friend Joe you finally understand why the Germans came up the word Schadenfreude (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schadenfreude).
2. I’ve just sent Joe the following tweet as it seemed only fair to give him a heads up - mysickbones @JoeCienkowski: Just heard about UR "tweet" - Schadenfreude it's a German word that U mayB hearing alot now http://bit.ly/1MQMxy #antitheism
What I can’t understand about these people is; why they don’t think before they act. Do they become so arrogant so sure of their “rightness” that eventually they believe themselves a law unto themselves? This sixsixsix (666) word, I’m the Anti-Christ; shit no I’m not because I didn’t stop there, bollocks back to being plain old me when with a little though I could have been Lucifer’s representative here on Earth…next time I’ll stop and think, here that Joe? Stop and think before you act because you can’t put the milk back in the bottle or close Pandora’s Box…EVER!
I’ve been rereading, redrafting to 140 characters and tweeting exerts from Robert Heinlein’s Notebooks of Lazarus Long and I’d forgotten how good they were. Poor old RH might have gone a little off the deep-end as he got older but much of his earlier stuff still stands up well. Time Enough for Love is probably the last book he read before his apparent obsession with the “fineness” of women overcame him. Most of what he wrote after this seemed, to me at the time, a bit barmy. It’s good to see that the Notebooks have stood the test of time and are as pithy today as when I first read them. Now this is what a rightwing US libertarian looks like when unburdened with religion; a little bristly and curmudgeonly somewhat argumentative but generally a pretty decent person. Such a shame that there seem to be so few of them in the modern US of A!
What happened to the literary heroes of my youth? RH goes a bit doddle alley, Arthur C Clarke, allegedly, spends his twilight years bumming Sri Lankan boys what of the last of the “Great Three” Isaac Asimov? I’ve just Wiki’d him only to discover that he too had feet of clay. Apparently he was a claustrophile: he enjoyed small, enclosed spaces and was, also, deadly afraid of flying. It seems he, flew only twice during his entire life. According to him his childhood dream was to own a magazine stand in a New York subway station where he could remain happily enclosed. This certainly explains his detective character Elijah Baley in his Robot Books. Oh well what does it signify anyway; all three gave me tremendous pleasure as a child and for that I’ll always be grateful.
Well that’s it, over the thousand word mark so that’ll do for today as I end on the 1042nd word.
PS When I get home I've got to stay awake until Nat's new Halo Reach game is delivered. Apparently tomorrow is the release date and he's arranged for it to be delivered on the first day; correction Deborah's arranged for this. Now this makes it 1109 words
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