Thursday 19 August 2010

Curtain Rail, Baby's Cot, Cables, Amazon, Headphones, Pax Brittanica, Battery, Disney, Remote, Hannah, Rain, Sauna Boy

Well now I’m buggered, I just wrote so much that I’m now all written out. Is there anything to say about today? Hold on one cotton picking minute, there’s loads to write about because when I got home Deb, she’s the one who “thinks” she’s my better half…why spoil the delusion, was having a bit of household blitz. Yesterday morning, I’d forgotten this, we’d finally replaced the curtain rail in our bedroom and we’d had to move some furniture to do so. Behind the dressing table we found the kid’s old disassembled cot. This morning, when I got home, she’d brought this down stairs and was in the process of trying to work out if it was complete, so that we could offer it free to someone who needed a cot via Freecycle. In addition, to this work of furniture “jigsawing”, she’d got out all the various carrier bags that were filled with sundry electrical cables to try and find the charging cable for Hannah’s keyboard. There were about five bags and all the cables in all the bags had, during their time there, conspired with one another to entangle themselves. Perhaps, like Toy Story, they come to life, at night when everyone’s asleep, and this is their equivalent of group sex, it’s a thought and a damned sexy one at that! Whatever the reason, Muggins (that’s me) was obliged to disentangle them and this proved to be a job filled with hours of fun. Eventually we found the cable we were looking for plus the cable for my bedside speaker and we sorted out the rest. I needed new headphones and among the clutter there about fifteen pairs. Most of these were broken but about five functioned perfectly. Unfortunately, none of them were of the kind, in ear bubs, that I can wear while cycling so I finally bit the bullet and ordered a new set of “phones” off of Amazon. Along the way, to avoid postage (nil if order over £15) I also bought the latest novel in the “Pax Brittanica” series, Royal Blood or Blood Royal…I forget which way round it is, and a new Nokia battery for my N82 phone. Whilst I was engaged with the foregoing Deb had moved outside and was proceeding, rapidly, to empty our two out buildings! Being on holiday always makes her go completely gaga; I suspect that it’s something to do with her being female. Having a small, female, brain means, of course, that academic pursuits are beyond her preview and thus she has to content herself with repetitive manual labour. On the plus side it does mean that the house gets a good cleaning and that’s always nice.


Eventually the kids got up and I went to bed and slept until 5:30 Pm when Nat came and woke me. I wanted to change the TV channel from Disney (God I Hate the Disney Channel and it’s cloned child, soon to be short lived pop sensations, actors) to BBC1 in order to watch the Six O’clock News but the remote was nowhere to be found. I asked Hannah where it was, as she’s obviously been the last to use it…Disney Channel remember… and she responded with her usual indifference whilst eating the macaroni cheese I’d just cooked for her. What is it with her; does she choose to press my buttons deliberately? I went up like a rocket and a very tearful Hannah was banished upstairs; once more, I hated myself for frightening her and pondered on how we were going to change this increasingly regular situation. The control was eventually found and shortly afterward Deb returned from weightwatchers, must ask her how she did, and we had dinner. It had been raining all day long and still was and as Deb had to take the kids to judo I was faced with a very wet cycle ride to work. I packed everything I needed for my rucksack into plastic bags, including my trousers, a towel and three dry tee-shirts (dress down night), before packing them away, dug out my water proofs and made ready to go. I left home at 7:45 PM and cycled slowly to work where I arrived at 8:15. The moment I entered the building I started to perspire profusely and I mean super profusely. Before I’d had the chance to take of my coat and WP trousers my inner garments were soaked and I was bright red. I spent a half an hour or so back and fore to the toilet towelling down and changing into dry clothes. Eventually I soaked my towel in cold water and used this to cool myself. I was still hot and sweaty at 9:30 Pm and very uncomfortable. Once again, the night was busy as the weather had become quite autumnal. The rain continues undiminished and I face the prospect of another wet journey this morning, followed by another simulated sauna session no doubt!

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