Tuesday, 24 August 2010

Best Jokes from Endinburgh Fringe 2010

The joke of the festival
Vine's fine line wins award

Tim Vine has won a prize for the funniest joke of this year's Edinburgh Fringe.
Visitors to the website of digital TV channel Dave decided the best gag of all 883 comedy shows at the festival was his line: ‘I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again.’
Vine said: "I am very happy to win this award and I'm going to celebrate by going to Sooty's barbecue and having a sweepsteak’.
The top 10 festival jokes were judged to be:
Tim Vine: I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again.
David Gibson: I'm currently dating a couple of anorexics. Two birds, one stone.
Emo Philips: I picked up a hitch hiker. You've got to when you hit them.
Jack Whitehall: I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out. I say 'bought', I actually stole it off a short, fat ginger kid."
Gary Delaney: As a kid I was made to walk the plank. We couldn't afford a dog.
John Bishop: Being an England supporter is like being the over-optimistic parents of the fat kid on sports day.
Bo Burnham: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names."
Gary Delaney: Dave drowned. So at the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt. Well, it's what he would have wanted.
Robert White: For Vanessa Feltz, life is like a box of chocolates: Empty."
Gareth Richards: Wooden spoons are great. You can either use them to prepare food. Or, if you can't be bothered with that, just write a number on one and walk into a pub…
Last year, Dan Antopolski won the prize with his line: Hedgehogs - why can't they just share the hedge?


Read more: http://www.chortle.co.uk/news/2010/08/23/11592/the_joke_of_the_festival?rss#ixzz0xXIZ6suP

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